Which One Have You Suffered?


Supporting Member
One-Star Hangover:
No pain. No real feeling of illness. Your sleep last night was a mere disco nap which is giving you a whole lot of misplaced energy. Be glad that you are able to function relatively well. However, you are still parched. You can drink 10 sodas and still feel this way. Even vegetarians are craving a steak bomb and a side of gravy fries.

Two-Star Hangover:
No pain. Something is definitely amiss. You may look okay but you have the attention span and mental capacity of a staple gun. The coffee you chug to try and remain focused is only exacerbating your rumbling gut, which is craving a rootie tootie fresh and fruity pancake breakfast. Last night has wreaked havoc on your bowels and even though you have a nice demeanour about the office, you are costing your employer valuable money because all you really can handle is surfing internet porn and writing junk e-mails.

Thee-Star Hangover:
Slight headache. Stomach feels crappy. You are definitely a space shot and so not productive. You have the attention span of a gnat. Anytime a girl walks by you gag because her perfume reminds you of the random gin shots you did with your alcoholic friends after the bouncer 86'd you at 3:45 a.m. Life would be better right now if you were in your bed with a dozen doughnuts and a meatball sub watching the E! fashion awards. You've had 4 cups of coffee, a gallon of water, 3 Snapples and a litre of Diet Coke - yet you haven't peed once.

Four-Star Hangover:
Life sucks. Your head is throbbing and you cannot speak too quickly or else you might puke. Your boss has already lambasted you for being late and has given you a lecture for reeking of booze. You wore nice clothes, but that can't hide the fact that you missed an oh-so crucial spot shaving, (girls, it looks like you put your make-up on while riding the bumper cars) your teeth have sweaters, your eyes look like one big vein and your hair style makes you look like a reject from the class picture of Revere High, '76. You would shoot your mother for one or all of the following:
1. The clock to strike 6pm
2. The entire appetizer list from TGI Fridays
3. A time machine so you could go back and NOT have gone out the night before.

Five-Star Hangover (a/k/a Dante's 4th Circle of Hell):
You have a second heartbeat in your head (exacerbated by 6 bouts of the dry heaves) which is actually annoying the employee who sits in the next cube. Vodka vapour is seeping out of every pour and making you dizzy. You still have toothpaste crust in the corners of your mouth from brushing your teeth. Your body has lost the ability to generate saliva, so your tongue is suffocating you. You'd cry but that would take the last of the moisture left in your body. Death seems pretty good right now. Your boss doesn't even get mad at you and your co-workers think that your dog just died because you look so pathetic. You should have called in sick because, let's face it, all you can manage to do is bitch about your state - which is a mystery to you because you definitely don't remember who you were with, where you were, what you drank and why there is a stranger still sleeping in your bed, unaccompanied, at your house. The only thing you can do is pass out. It's when you wake up a few hours later with a lesser star hangover that you eat a large pizza, an order of Kung Pao Chicken, a ham and cheese omelette and a batch of Rice Krispie Treats.


New Member
managed to hit level 4 the other day, but instead of wearing off, it fell to level 3 and stayed with me for another day after!! ouch! :shock:


I once went higher than level 5!
A year back i was out on a saturady night out -had few too many and passed out. Only to get up on the monday still with a level 3!. What happened to sunday i really dont know!. After this episode i tend to drink fruit juice (if i can get away with it). In fact i felt abit like my new avatar which i have finally got around to doing!.


Big Twigge

Active Member
Kind of variation on number 4....I wouldn't advise trying to cure it by sitting in the hot sun and eating pizza on the beach after only three hrs sleep . My advice would be stay in bed drinking about 23 litres of water


New Member
Sort of a cross between 2/3/4 - Bowels/Stomach/Head. Not pleasant.

Sadly don't drink much apart from weekends so I can just sleep it off.


Active Member
Well I'm sure if i could drink Id've made it to a 5 by now...

But since I can't, I suppose I'll just have to read everyone else's stories and laugh... :twisted:


Stage 3 on a daily basis working up to stage 5 by the weekend except the omelette as I dont like eggs and its usually a madras instead of the Kung Po.


Active Member
only ever made it to 2, but thats probably coz i'm not actually meant to drink....... but i was partyin n ppl kept buyin me drinks, so i kept on drinkin em!!! :p i felt rude not drinkin!!!

Brian Bowen

Active Member
What's the point of all this? Is it self-loathing; masochism, testosterone imbalance; one-up-manship, or what? No wonder the British government and other institutions are showing serious concern over the abuse of alcohol. It’s a pity a number of under-age wannabes (not to mention legal-age drinkers) on tMP think getting sloshed and bragging about it is a rite of passage.

Personally, I have no problem with folks drinking within reason and celebrating and certainly do not wish to be a party pooper. But irresponsible drinking only gives alcohol a bad name, especially when it produces unsociable behaviour and health risks.


Grow up Brian-its harmless banter,dont need a lecture from your goodself either about what is and what isnt right.Its not as if we're talking about shooting crack or other imported drug are we.

Well Worth It

Active Member
There's a beast, reserved exclusively for special occasions ie. post-wedding/birthday/contest where you have to be violently ill in order to bring your hangover down to a 5*. I really hate those.


Active Member
i had somewhere between a 2 and a 3 this morning, went to a birthday party last night and got 3 hours sleep before getting up for work... wasn't much use to my employers to be honest, but they got me back by making me sit through a 2 and a half hour meeting about rubber...

The Cornet King

Active Member
Level 4 i think is my worst on more than a couple of occasions :?

I tend to get infamously bad hangovers anyway...but Number 4 is bad enough...im sure one day i'll learn the delights of Level 5... :p

Maybe on Saturday ...*Blatant Plug* Huddersfield TMP social *Blatant Plug Over*

:guiness Cheers!

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