When is it time to call it a day ???

[jackyboy]

At what point do you decide to leave a band ?
I have played with my current band for nearly 6 years and am heavily involved with the day to day running of it, but it has become more of a chore than an enjoyable hobby. All the people who were in the band when i joined have since left (is it me ???) and i dont want to be last man out of a sinking ship.

 

[Darth_Tuba]

Tough one this. I'm a firm believer that if you aren't enjoying it then stop, or change bands to one that you would enjoy playing with (e.g. some prefer lower standard bands that are less demanding but still have a great social atmosphere). Perhaps a break from the running of the band is what you need so that you can concentrate on playing and enjoying yourself. No matter how much I moan about I really do enjoy banding. Honest :guiness I had to stick that thing in there... Guiness rules.

 

[HunkySteve]

In my case, I tolerated things that I wasnt happy with until "the straw that broke the camel's back" - I too wasnt happy for a long while but couldnt put a finger on why.

Then I quit, found another band and now I enjoy banding again - although still not a contest convert, we seem to be doing OK at the moment...

Did a concert tonight where I finally begin to see what contesting does for a band's development. It was quite good (in parts) even if I say so myself.

Steve

 

[sparkling_quavers]

This truely is a difficult problem! my view talk to the other committee members about your problems. Many disputes/ problems in banding (and every other social activity) are caused by the fact people don't discuss things that are getting to them and then things get out of hand. If you can't put your finger on the problem that is a different situation. Somethings organisations can get into the routine of 'clicking through the weeks' nothing really exciting goes on...rehearsals are dull and the social scene fades. In that case it takes a strong committee to pull things back together. i.e. i am back to my original point...talk to the other committee members!! If the band is in a state that it might collapse it is time to call an eAGM and decide what the band as a whole is willing to do about it.

You have obviously put effort and emotions into this band...something that shouldnt be given up lightly!

 

[satchmo shaz]

In my case, I tolerated things that I wasnt happy with until "the straw that broke the camel's back" - I too wasnt happy for a long while but couldnt put a finger on why.

Then I quit, found another band and now I enjoy banding again - although still not a contest convert, we seem to be doing OK at the moment...

Did a concert tonight where I finally begin to see what contesting does for a band's development. It was quite good (in parts) even if I say so myself.

Steve

........ no it wasnt bad at all......... deep inside the scared temple was good too :wink:

 

[asteria]

My opinion is that if i find it a chore to go to band and i find myself sitting in rehearsals clock-watching it is time to think about moving on. There is nothing worse than feeling you're wasting your time, but if you still enjoy either the music or social side of it, it's worth sticking it out a bit longer until things get better.

When i left my home band to come to uni i had a period of unsettlement in a couple of bands where i didn't really enjoy banding any more, but once i found a band i loved playing for all the enjoyment came back again and i remembered why it is i play in the first place!

Helen

 

[Aidan]

aww... how sweet :roll:

 

[picju96]

I say if you're not enjoying it then leave, there's no point in doing something when you don't want to be there. Unfortunately if we decide we don't like band, there's nowhere to go. Be grateful you have somewhere!

Julia

 

[jackyboy]

Thanks folks for your thoughts. I think that because we have no direction from the middle, this inturn has created a major lack of motivation. Fellow comrades who have sought greener pastures , did so due to lack of "zing" in the bandroom. Various local bands have gone to the wall due to the same sort of thing , losing players to other "interesting" bands. How do you get the buzz back ?

 

[BoozyBTrom]

How do you get the buzz back ?

When I played for Frickley B band we lost the spark in the band room and we slipped to the bottom of the 4th section. We lost a lot of players to bands who were technically no better than us. But they seemed to enjoy thier banding.

A group of us got together to talk about why we came to band and after going round the room the main reason was ENJOYMENT. We were all freinds but only ever saw each other in the band room. So we decided to get social gatherings started. nights in the pub, weekends away, playing sports against other bands. We started to have a laugh together and this picked up morale and this translated through to the bandroom and our playing. As other bands saw we were having a good time thier players slowly started to trickle over to us. its not a quick fix it did take time but the band is still going and two years after starting our social gatherings we won the 4th section nationals.
And the rest is history. The band still has a great social atmosphere 10 years down the line.


A band that plays together Works together.

 

[Straightmute]

This is very tough. I've always tried to put the band first: initial reaction when things go wrong is often to walk out - and it sounds as though you're at the end of your tether - but so far as the welfare of the band is concerned that's possibly the worst thing you could do.

You feel that the problem comes from the attitude of the man in the middle? What differences would you like to see: new repertoire, better rehearsal management, more humour, a more serious approach...? Presuming that he also has the interests of the band at heart and would embrace anything which would make the band better for its members, should the committee not tackle him about this?

If you have done that and there's no change, or if he hasn't got the long term interests of the band at heart maybe it's time for a new face, but that can also be very disruptive. If everyone else left at the band is happy and content with the status quo then maybe the best thing for the band would be for you to leave them in peace.

 

[Raspberry]

Jackyboy I'm sure there are quite a few bandsmen / women who from time to time who have come across feeling "where do we go from here?" The responses on here are very interesting - parhaps you should speak to your committee about your feelings and seek suggestions on how things can be improved. You mentioned earlier that you feel that whatever it is you do for the band you feel it is a chore - why not delegate some jobs to other members of the committee to give them a go at helping to run a band.

You haven't stated the problem with the man in the middle but communication does work if you speak to people.Speak to the committee see what is the missing link and then you may be able to see light at the end of the tunnel.

 

[Libby]

:roll: Jackyboy, maybe it's time for a change for you, but before you jump ship I think you should talk to your committee and sort a few things out, if you feel your doing too much then tell them, you may be a bit surprised to find out that they're not actually mind readers and probably all think you are thoroughly enjoying yourself! It's amazing how deaf/blind others can be in these situations. If after a chat nothing happens then lay your cards on the table, say you're unhappy and are thinking about leaving and if that does nothing then matey it's time for a new band who will love and appreciate you!! Goodluck!

 

[jonford]

This is very difficult, when and if to leave a band. I see the 'committee' is mentioned a lot in this subject, what do you do when you find the committee unapproachable though? Im not saying this is the case but I have definatly seen this.

I think though If this is the first time youve thought of leaving a band you should definatly wait too see if the problem gets any better, how long this is I suppose depends on the person, but if your unhappy for a long time then maybe its time to look for another band.

 

[jackyboy]

After a long time thinking about this subject i have settled beck with my band. Thanks for all your comments. Some have been quite usefull.
My collegues didn't realise that things had become a chore and thought i actually enjoyed running the show. Having taken a step back, i can now see things very differently. Some of the jobs have been delegated out to other members which helps loads. The social side had slipped away, which has always been my favorite part of banding. Changes have had to happen within the camp and now we seem to be moving forward together as a team again.

 

[sparkling_quavers]

Hey Jackyboy,

That is great news! Glad to see things are back on the road again for you

Sparkly