What do you do about someone who can't fit in?


Active Member
So do we. I just want to punch them... but I'll wait till after out areas :roll:


Depends on why he/she doesn't fit in....if this person is an arrogant so and so, or say a quiet eccentric...

One I'd try to hit, the other I'd try to talk to!


Active Member
I say there are many different solutions to this:

1. Grin and bear it and hope they go away and that other players who contribute more positively don't leave because of it.
2. If they are musically disruptive then the MD should speak to them. After all, the MD is in charge of the musicality of the band - if the player thinks they know better they shouldn't be there IMHO since they will not listen and pull together with the rest of the band.
3. If they are disruptive in other ways then they should be spoken to by the committee. It's not acceptable for someone to cause problems in a band and upsetting people who are there for FUN.

Just my opinion. Why lose players who make positive contributions over one person (no matter how good they are at playing the instrument)? The band is greater than the individual - always.



Active Member
Here , here Kirsty.
Lets get rid of John. :wink:

You know we all love you John. :lol:


Active Member
I'm going to be diplomatic here and say that I haven't been in the band long enough to possibly make a comment...


Okiedokie of Oz

Active Member
dawwww... how sweet!!!

Well, I suppose I better agree with everyone else. However, Iwill suggest that everyone, or at least someone, make an effort jst to sit him down first and talk to him. Then take it to the bossman!!


Is the person in question just shy? Or is the person actually agressive towards other members?

I think it's quite acceptable for a player to turn up to band, play their heart out and then go home without socialising with anyone. It's nice if we can all be friends, but if a person does their fair share of work during rehersal and wants to keep to themselves, then the band should respect that.

If the person is offending other players by being arrogant, then it's fair to have a chat about his attitudes towards other band members. However, I bet if the person in question was a big name professional player then everyone will just keep their mouth shut. (so i guess my point is that in a perfect solution to the problem there needs to be a change in attitude from BOTH parties.)



Active Member
it's a difficult one, you have to try and balance the need for a player for a contest or concert and the ill will created in the bandroom! Good Luck with your problem there not easy to deal with!


Just ignore him/her and they will soon see no-one is interested :?
If it's shyness then i'm afraid it takes all sorts to make a band

Born 3

New Member
:) I'm all for diversity and you have to accept that some players are not going to be the same as you but if they are out of line then they need telling.
It can be little things that rub people up the wrong way :
Expecting everyone else to run around after them
Not putting their stand away
Not paying subs
In which case there should be someone appointed to deal with 'bandroom etiquette' who has the right to say what is expected of players and bring them in line. Often these people are completely unaware of what a pain in the a*** they are.

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