Unexplained Mysteries of time!!

[bagpuss]

You know those questions that just appear randomly in your brain?? No??? Ok, perhaps they just appear randomly in mine then. Here's a few to get you thinking:

What does an occasional table do the rest of the time?
Where does your lap go when you stand up?
If you unscrew your belly-button will your bottom fall off?
Is a tramp without legs a low - down bum?
Why is belly button fluff always blue??
Why does the word apostrophe not have one?
Why is abbreviation such a long word?

You get the idea. I'll leave it open to all!!!!



B. Puss esq

 

[lynchie]

What colour does a smurf go when you strangle it?
Is there another word for Synonym?

 

[MICKTHEEUPH]

* Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out?"

* Who was the first person to say, "See that chicken there... I'm gonna eat the next thing that comes outta it's ass."

* Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?

* Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?

* If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a song about him?

* If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?

* Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don't point to their ass when they ask where the bathroom is?

* Why does your ob-gyn leave the room when you get undressed if they are going to look up there anyway?

* Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs!

* What do you call male ballerinas?

* Can blind people see their dreams? Do they dream??

* If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that Acme crap, why didn't he just buy dinner?

* If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?

* If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, then what is baby oil made from?

* If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?

* Is Disney World the only people trap operated by a mouse?

* Why do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?

Stop singing and read on . . . . . .. . . . .

* Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup?

* Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the hemisphere, but call it a hemorrhoid when it's in your ass?

* Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him on a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?

* Does pushing the elevator button more than once make it arrive faster?

 

[JessopSmythe]

If a tree falls in a forest with no-one around and lands on a mime artist, does anyone care?

 

[leisa]

if a tree falls when no1s around does it make a noise??

 

[lynchie]

If a man sits in a glass box suspended from a tree in a forest and no one sees, is he still an idiot?

 

[Keppler]

- If we didn't have golf balls, how would we measure hail?

- What if there were no hypothetical questions?

 

[PeterBale]

- What if Peter hadn't caught the wolf, what then :?: :wink:

 

[andyp]

Why is there only one Monopolies Comission?

If you fastened a large piece of buttered toast to a cat's back, would it hover indefinitely?

Why do people put "Do not open this door" signs on doors?

 

[Maestro]

Why is there not another word for Thesaurus?

and to be a tad controversial?.......

If the adjudicators were listening last year at the RAH, how come Fodens didn't win? :twisted: :lol:

 

[lynchie]

What's the speed of dark?
How many roads must a man walk down, before he'll admit he's lost?

 

[PeterBale]

How high is a chinaman?

 

[LipService]

Why is the word 'dyslexia' so hard to spell?

If your car were travelling at the speed of light, would the headlights work?

On a more ethical note, if Adam and Eve only had two sons, how did the rest of the human race evolve?

 

[HBB]

If you were on a plane travelling at the speed of light, and you walked from the back to the front are you travelling faster than the speed of light?? :lol: :lol:

Ben

 

[lynchie]

chicken or egg, chicken or egg...?

 

[SammyT]

what is the sound of one hand clapping?

Sorry science teacher here - I am not going to even try to start explaining where this is wrong

* If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?

:wink: :lol:

Love the rest though - keep um coming!

 

[super_sop]

Sorry science teacher here - I am not going to even try to start explaining where this is wrong

* If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?

:wink: :lol:

why were does morality come from!!!! :lol:

 

[SammyT]

lol :lol:
probably should have explained myself:
Electricity does not come from electrons!!!! So where does that leave morality (and more importantly the morons!!!! :? )

 

[timbloke]

i'm really tempted to answer some of those... but instead i'll ask the following....

if a fly is called a fly, why isn't a fish called a swim?

 

[PeterBale]

If you can park a car in a park, and drive a car on a drive, why can't you steer a car on a steer?