timmy mallett

what is timmy mallett?

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six pints

Active Member
i just had me ball, and i was on stage with timmy and won prizes cos i said blaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah for a long time (thank god for circular breathing). i have decided the guy is a legend. any other opinions?

I was made to sit and watch the idiot when my two older boys were of an age they found him hilarious, unfortunately if either of them knew I was telling you all this they would probably do to me what I would have liked to do to Timmy 'really annoying' Mallett in the 90's!!!!!!!!!

:x :x :x


Active Member
Timmy Mallet was and is a legend. I got his 'History of the World' which had the immortal line:

Camel spelt like mammal only different, look in the dictionary under 'P'.

Dave Payn

Active Member
Timmy Mallett is a leg-end. The top end of a leg at that. ;-)

No, just joshin! Didn't really watch him that much to be honest!

2nd man down

Staff member
Complete (self edit) *beep* prat!!

I remember seeing him gotcha'd on the Noel Edmonds house party, and before he realised it was a prank he sat there bellowing "Do you have any idea who I am?...I'm a top tv celebrity!!" (sat there in his ridiculously large luminous glasses), and when they finally revealed that he'd been had he must have realised what an idiot he must have looked cos he started to try and convince everyone that he new all along it was a joke!

(self edit) *beep*


Active Member
I agree what a tool , that plaster thing he used to do.grrrrr....foppy haired , short !"$" g"£p , he is lucky he is claw hammer victim no1....If it wasn't for " teeny weeny yellow polka dot bikini." he would have been worm food I tells ya....worm food!!!!!!!!!!!!
obviously I would not take a claw hammer to the afore mentioned Mr. Timmy Mallet , but you can feel the seething rage...grrrrrrrrrrrrrr :twisted:


Staff member
six pints said:
you are all just jealous cos you dont have a badge and a signed mouse mate!

Must have ben difficult keeping the mouse's mate still for long enough to sign it :shock: :oops: :wink:


Spent 5 months in the South of France 7 or 8 years ago. Met Timmy while I was out there....tool, plank, spanner (or all of above). Boy did he love himself!!! Can't stand the man

Must admit to having watched Bonk and Boob on a Saturday morning and rolling one trouser leg up :oops: :oops: :oops: It was the peer pressure that did it!!!!


good work on getting so many prizes. All of us at Aidans love Timmy. My friend has a signed Plinky Plonky in her car. His website is amazing and he is indeed a legend

Jo x


Active Member
I nearly got thrown out of Sheffield Uni Union when he visited for standing at the front with a group of mates. the fact we spent the whole night chanting "You're old, you're fat, you're old you're fat you're ugly!" at the tops of our voices might have had something to do with it.....

It's pretty sad when at the age of 45+ he is reduced to touring universities. What a loser.

And Toby Anstis with Edd the Duck/Otis the Aardvark were far superior, as were Rainbow.

Big Twigge

Active Member
Glad to see he's still going!
I nearly fainted when I went to see him :oops: !!!!
It was hot and there were too many people............ I had to be taken to a little room and got given free water!!

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