Things you learn from TV advertisements

[James Yelland]

Things you learn from TV adverts:

1. Eating breakfast cereals induces a reflex action which causes the consumer's eyebrows to rise.

2. Fast-food restaurants never serve fat people.

3. Razors are only used by lantern-jawed young men with towels around their waist, with a gorgeous young woman hanging around in the background.

4. The roads will be totally empty as you drive your new car around the typical UK countryside of mountain chicanes, French provincial towns and ornate Italian villages.

5. PC World is staffed by articulate people who really understand computers.

6. The constituent of a good Sunday roast lunch that people most enjoy is the gravy.

7. It is unnecessary to pay for drinks in bars, pubs and clubs.

8. Chewing gum is a sociable habit.

9. You must ask for perfume in French, otherwise the shop assistant will not understand you.

10. Advertising agencies working for banks live on their own, tiny planet.

I'm sure you can think of a few more........

 

[Aidan]

:lol:

 

[PeterBale]

Things you learn from TV adverts:

9. You must ask for perfume in French, otherwise the shop assistant will not understand you.

Reminds me of the adverts a little while back for the perfume called "Le Jardin", where the music consisted of someone singing along - didn't quite have the same effect of you replaced it with "The garden" instead :wink:

Equally, "eau de Cologne" has a slightly different feel about it to "Kolnwasser" (sorry, can't do the Umlaut) or Cologne water - whilst "toilet water" gives us English quite the wrong impression :shock:

 

[Accidental]

11. Mobile phones have feelings, feet and their own dalmations!

12. Babies in tv nappies never poo

13. Car insurance is fair, and cheap!

 

[onedrummeruk]

14 - Everybody wakes in the morning full of the joys of spring, sparkly eyed and ready for the day ahead - unlike real people who generally look like they've been hit by a bus and someone has crapped in their mouths.

 

[Straightmute]

15. Cars are never dirty, even if they drive through puddles or across the desert.

I want one of those cars!

D

 

[Okiedokie of Oz]

16 - Every woman dyes her hair

17 - everyone's mum looks like either a 26 year old, or a 45-50 year old.

18 - Dentists and Doctors, unless endorsing something, are fresh from college

19 - The other political group is always wrong

20 - Every Family eats breakfast together

21 - You are either a businessman or a mechanic.

 

[WhatSharp?]

22 - Everyone has MASSIVE Bathrooms

23 - Nobody Queue's at the the Theme Park

24 - NOTHING COSTS A ROUND NUMBER!

25 - Everything always works straight out the box

26 - Sales staff in Electrical Retail Superstores are always "Happy to Help" and your NEVER left standing there like a lemon whilst he chats to his "Mate"

27 - PC World know what their talking about!

Oh and my personal favorite.....


28 - ARGOS ALWAYS HAVE IT IN STOCK! ..... < my arse they do!>

 

[PeterBale]

Oh and my personal favorite.....


28 - ARGOS ALWAYS HAVE IT IN STOCK! ..... < my *beep* they do!>

Now, if they used Bisto instead of stock, then everybody would be happy :wink: :lol: :lol:

 

[James Yelland]

29. Prices with lots of nines in them always sound a lot less than prices with lower numbers in them.

30. A man always argues with his partner about who is going to drive, instead of letting her do the driving so that he can have a skinful.

 

[Big Twigge]

31. Furniture sales ALWAYS end sunday

 

[WhatSharp?]

29. Prices with lots of nines in them always sound a lot less than prices with lower numbers in them.

30. A man always argues with his partner about who is going to drive, instead of letting her do the driving so that he can have a skinful.

And of course the partner NEVER "Hates driving your car" cause its too big/small/not like my car/long/short .......

 

[Dave Payn]

32. Fast food chain's burgers always look so neatly and tidily prpeared. Unlike the real thing!

33. No one ever f@rted on the Heinz Baked Beans adverts

34. A Mars a day helps you work rest and play. Can't say I noticed a significant change there...

35. Certain brands of sanitary towel can help you run, jump, swim and play tennis. The uncertain ones obviously can't.

36. When kids are seen in adverts tugging at mum's coat to indicate they want something, they usally get it with a smile. In reality, the the kid is met with a volley of foul language.

37. In adverts, people drink Castlemaine XXXX. However, in real life....

 

[WhatSharp?]

31. Its always NEW and IMPROVED .. DUH! Listen Mr Ad Man, its either NEW OR Improved you can't have both! if its new you haven't got anything to IMPROVE ON HAVE YOU! DUH! :roll:

Anyone on tMP work in Advertising?

 

[PeterBale]

31. Its always NEW and IMPROVED .. DUH! Listen Mr Ad Man, its either NEW OR Improved you can't have both! if its new you haven't got anything to IMPROVE ON HAVE YOU! DUH! :roll:

It's like my beef about "The Best Ever" - if it is the best ever, how can they then try to sell you an improved version a few months down the line?

32. Nothing tastes/cleans/works (delete as required) better than product X . . .

Then eat/use nothing!

 

[Seedhouse]

Lol! :lol: This is turning into a good thread, pity it can't be voted for funniest thread! :cry:

 

[WhatSharp?]

32. "Let Us Quote you happy" .... OK Lets start at Zero.... now make me happy! .... "I'm not getting happy...."

33. Cars should only be driven in really BAD conditions. Or by wierdos....

34. Boddingtons aren't making any funny Ads these days!

35. Following on from 34, Beer adverts are funniest ... Heineken, Carling Black Label, Boddingtons........

 

[Accidental]

36. Alcohol makes you smart, funny, sexy, attractive and fun to be round.....noone drinking booze in the ads is ever a foul mouthed pain in the **** who's gonna drink drive!

37. dogs care what they eat, don't poo, don't leave hair all over the house and bring you breakfast in bed :wink:

 

[iggmeister]

38. Brushing with Colgate makes you smile like Esther Rantzen

Sorry. Can only think of one for now. Will have to go and watch some tv....

Igg

 

[Okiedokie of Oz]

39 - The news is an accurate representation of what happens in ones community and such a worthwhile watch!