The Talking Dog

Dave Payn

Active Member
A man sees a sign in front of a house in Luton: "Talking Dog for
Sale." He rings the bell and the owner tells him the dog is in the
back garden. The bloke goes into the backyard and sees a black mutt Just
sitting there.

"You talk?" he asks.

"Sure do." the dog replies.

"So, what's your story?"

The dog looks up and says, "Well, I discovered my gift of talking
pretty young and I wanted to help the government, so I told MI5 about my
gift, and in no time they had me jetting from country to country, sitting in
rooms with spies and world leaders, because no one figured a dog would
be eavesdropping. I was one of their most valuable spies eight years
running."

"The jetting around really tired me out, and I knew I wasn't getting
any younger and I wanted to settle down. So I signed up for a job at the
airport to do some undercover security work, mostly wandering near
suspicious characters and listening in."

"I uncovered some incredible dealings there and was awarded loads of
medals, then I had a wife, a few puppies, and now I'm just retired."

The man is amazed. He goes back in and asks the owner what he wants
for the dog.

The owner says, "Ten quid."

The bloke says, "This dog is amazing. Why on earth are you selling him
so cheap?"

"Cause he's a ****ing liar. He's never done any of that stuff"
 

geordiecolin

Active Member
Damn Neil beat me to it!

I had visions of a bottle of beer that talked to you, totally eliminating the need for real friends <insert pun here/>. And it wouldn't laugh at you when drunk!!
 

lynchie

Active Member
geordiecolin said:
Damn Neil beat me to it!

I had visions of a bottle of beer that talked to you, totally eliminating the need for real friends <insert pun here/>. And it wouldn't laugh at you when drunk!!
Obviously, for you to get drunk, it would have be drunk, so you could laugh at it... sort of... hmmm...

Anyway, good joke! :D
 
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