Symptoms Of Being Over Thirty


Symptoms Of Being Over Thirty......

1.You leave clubs before they finish just to beat the rush.

2.Before throwing the local paper away you have to check out the property section first.

3.Before going to a function you ask is the parking secure.

4.You discuss the power of your lawnmower down the pub.

5.You always make sure you have enough milk in.

6.You tend to think IKEA is hip and trendy.

7.You wish you had a shed.

8.You really do have a shed.

9.You find yourself chatting up your biology teacher from school in a club.

10.When sitting outside the pub in summer you comment on how nice the hanging baskets look.

11.You find yourself saying things like "I remember when there where only three channels on the television" midway through conversation.

12.You remember when you could buy a pint of lager for eighty pence.

13.When all the best music is played in the Eighties hour down your local.

14,And to top it all,the music nowadays is rubbish, whatever did happen to Rick Astley anyway? :roll:


Phew, thank goodness for that! I thought you'd sussed me out but I failed on the last point :)

Cheers, Greg (33.95)


A pessimistic old bugger I used to work with said "Being over thirty is when the aches and pains start........they only stop when you're dead!

Sud (40.84)


Active Member
Nooooooooooooo!!!! Someone's read my mind....

Andy (33 1/2 - does that make me a long player?)


15. You shake your head and tut at the behaviour of Freddie Starr and that other idiot (John something) when you're forced to watch Celebrity Fat Club

16. You have no idea what's in the top ten

Frisp (37.33)


Active Member
17. "Kids today have no respect"

18. "how OLD is that girl and WHAT is she WEARING!, I'd NEVER let my daughter wear .... oh that IS my daughter" :D (though not QUITE yet!, got a few more years to go for this one!).

oh and

19. Errm I'm 33, I think, or is it 34, oh hang on "HEY DARLIN', AM I 33 or 34?" - true :oops:

Steve ... 33.53972602739726027397260273972603


Active Member
None of those things apply to me (though I'm cheating on 7/8 as we have two sheds, and my biology teacher was a bloke) .'. I must still be in my late twenties.... :roll:

Hate IKEA, don't drink lager and since I lecture on popular music I really have to keep up to date! I don't go to clubs, read the local paper or own a lawnmower (or a lawn).

No aches that my chiropractor (Miss Beer!) can't deal with yet, Sud, and still waiting for my wisdom teeth to come through!


Okiedokie of Oz

Active Member
manx_yessir said:
Symptoms Of Being Over Thirty......

1.You leave clubs before they finish just to beat the rush.

5.You always make sure you have enough milk in.

8.You really do have a shed.

11.You find yourself saying things like "I remember when there where only three channels on the television" midway through conversation.

12.You remember when you could buy a pint of lager for eighty pence.

I am 22.89344262295081967213114754098361and these fit me!!


Active Member
I used to leave clubs early when I was 18. parties and balls on the other hand....
I have no idea what the power of my lawnmower is, that must be an over-30-bloke thing...
I'm always running out of milk.
I hate IKEA
I'm not allowed in the shed on pain of divorce, I think he may be planning world domination in there. Or operating an illicit still.
My biology teacher was a woman.
I don't care where Rick Astley is. Bouncy-haired muppet. Give me Shakin' Stevens any day.

All the rest is true.
34 and some months


You mean there were THREE TV channels? I suppose you're going to tell me they were in colour too.... Made watching snooker and football much more of a challenge...

Neil - feeling distinctly senile :roll: @ 16722 days (I think!)


Here's some more.........

20) You stop dreaming of becoming a professional footballer and start
dreaming of having a son who might instead.

21) You prefer later with Jools Holland to Top of the Pops.

22) All of a sudden, Tony Blair is not 46, he's only 46.

23) Flicking through Heat magazine makes you too tired to go out.

24) Rather than throw a knackered pair of trainers out, you keep them
because they'll be all right for the garden.

25) You buy your first ever T-shirt without anything written on it.

26) Instead of laughing at the innovations catalogue that falls out of
the newspaper, you suddenly see both the benefit and money saving
properties of a plastic winter cover for your garden bench and an
electronic mole repellent for the lawn. Not to mention the plastic man
for the car to deter would be thieves.

27) You don't get funny looks when you buy a Disney video or a Wallace and Gromit bubble bath, as the sales assistant assumes they are for your child.

28 ) You opt for Pizza Express over Pizza Hut because they don't have
any pictures on the menus and anyway, they do a really nice half-bottle
of house white.

29) You become powerless to resist the lure of self-assembly furniture.

30) To compensate for the fact that you have little desire to go
clubbing, you instead frequent really loud tapas restaurants and
franchise pubs with wacky names in the mistaken belief that you have not turned into your parents.

31) While flicking through the TV channels, you happen upon C4's Time team with Tony Robinson. You get drawn in.

32) The benefits of a pension scheme become clear.

33) You go out of your way to pick up a colour chart from B&Q.

34) You actually find yourself saying "They don't make 'em like that
anymore" and "Of course, in my day"

35) Radio 2 play more songs you know than Radio 1 - and Jeremy Vine has some really interesting guests on, you know.

36) Instead of tutting at old people who take ages to get off the bus,
you tut at school children whose diction is poor.

37) You come face to face with your own mortality for the first time,
and the indestructibility of the 20ies gives way to a realisation that
you are but passing through this life and if you don't settle down soon
and have kids you'll have no-one to look after you when you're old and
frail and incontinent and you can't go on p***ing your life up against a
wall forever and think of how many brain cells you're destroying every
time a cheeky one turns into 10, and look at that, a full set of
stainless steel saucepans for £99, they cost as much as £35 each if you
buy them separately, and you get a milk pan thrown in,

Andrew 33 Years 5 Months and 27 days (ish)


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