Okiedokie of Oz said:
Hey dyl, my good man...more snail jokes!!!
At your service:
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There was once a snail who always dreamed of becoming a race-car driver. One day he learned that his uncle had died and left him a large amount of money! Now his dream could be realized! He bought himself a race car, souped it up, and then painted large red letter S's all over it.
When he was at his first race, a friend of his asked why had had painted his car that way. "Simple," the snail replied. "When people see me and my race car go zooming down the track, I want them all to exclaim, `Look at that S-car go!'"
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This snail is at the police station. He's telling the officer on duty about how he was just mugged and robbed.
"It was these two turtles!" the snail sobs. "They beat me up and took my money!"
The officer asks "Did you get a good look at them?"
The snail says "No! It all happened so fast!"
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What does a snail say when he rides a turtle?
Wheeeeee!!!
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How do snails get their shells all shiny?
They use snail polish
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Waiter, waiter! Do you serve snails.
Sit down, sir, we'll serve anyone.
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A snail starts a slow climb up the trunk of an apple tree. He is watched by a sparrow who can't help laughing and eventually says "Don't you know there aren't any apples on the tree yet?" "Yes," said the snail, "but there will be by the time I get up there."
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