Snail joke

Dave Payn

Active Member this guy is sitting at home watching tv when there's a knock at the door. gets up, opens it and sees this snail sitting there.

He picks up the snail and throws it as far as he can from the door. Thinks nothing more of it.

A year later the same guy is sitting at home watching tv when there's a knock at the door. He gets up, opens the door and the snail is sitting there.

and the snail says: "what the **** was that for?"


Staff member
ploughboy said:
another on your theme dave,

What did the slug say to the snail? ? ? ? ?


Big issue?

I thought he might have said "Shell we set up home together?"

Okiedokie of Oz

Active Member
no just a blokey thing...

you know
Slugs and snalis
and puppydog's tails....

that's whatr big strapping brass players are made of! :lol:


Active Member
Don't forget the old classic.

A man gives his girlfriend a piggy-back to a fancy dress party.
When asked what he's come as he says 'A snail ----- this is Michelle'


Active Member
Okiedokie of Oz said:
Hey dyl, my good man...more snail jokes!!!
At your service:

There was once a snail who always dreamed of becoming a race-car driver. One day he learned that his uncle had died and left him a large amount of money! Now his dream could be realized! He bought himself a race car, souped it up, and then painted large red letter S's all over it.

When he was at his first race, a friend of his asked why had had painted his car that way. "Simple," the snail replied. "When people see me and my race car go zooming down the track, I want them all to exclaim, `Look at that S-car go!'"
This snail is at the police station. He's telling the officer on duty about how he was just mugged and robbed.

"It was these two turtles!" the snail sobs. "They beat me up and took my money!"

The officer asks "Did you get a good look at them?"

The snail says "No! It all happened so fast!"
What does a snail say when he rides a turtle?

How do snails get their shells all shiny?
They use snail polish
Waiter, waiter! Do you serve snails.
Sit down, sir, we'll serve anyone.
A snail starts a slow climb up the trunk of an apple tree. He is watched by a sparrow who can't help laughing and eventually says "Don't you know there aren't any apples on the tree yet?" "Yes," said the snail, "but there will be by the time I get up there."

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