You were put in an invidious position, Jason. Maybe, if you had been informed of the fact that there was a temporary problem - without even necessarily knowing the details - you might have made a different decision.Jasonp said:Two weeks before the finals at Harrogate last year I was faced with a dilemma. A member of the band wasn't turning up to rehearsals. I had no idea why, I called but had no answer, so I had to make a decision and find a replacement, because 1. I couldn't risk going to finals with an empty seat, and 2. I couldn't risk that player being out of practice.
This particular persons commitment was usually better than most so it was very much out of character, and they were not asked at any time to leave the band, but as a result of my decision that person left the band feeling very bitter.
I think I made the right decision for the benefit of the band, and I'll always stand by it.
There will always be problems for us to make rehearsals, but If you keep your band manager informed then there shouldn't be a problem, but if you don't turn up, with no explanation why, then you have to expect action to be taken.
I think the person involved should have made contact to let you know what had happened or that there would be a problem. However, I might (please don't take this as criticism or judgement) have made more than just a call. Maybe I might have gone round if possible - especially as this person was normally a dedicated and regular player. I think the thing is here that it's the lack of communication that is the problem.
I can see that there might be a problem if the reason is something personal, perhaps, or embarrassing, but that is where trust comes into it. If asked, I think most people would keep someone's confidentiality safe. Certainly, one of the band's 'officials' would be covered by legislation and data protection provisos about such things and be accountable if any private information leaked out. Difficult one.