Poetry

[frisp]

Recently the BBC ran a 'Limerick Challenge' (thx Skins for the heads up), recognising the limerick as part of National Poetry Day.

As a sad limericker, who has contended himself with lurking recently (a bit Dickensian I know), I thought a Tmp version might be in order:-

Supply the next four lines to any one of the following please :-

A Bass Player stood and he said,

The MD he frowned and he swore,

A young man who's called Roger Thorne,

There once was a young man in Goa,

Forgive me implored the sop cornet,

 

[frisp]

I'll try :-

Forgive me implored the sop sornet
I blew far too hard and I've torn it
My insides are out
Folks point and they shout
My shame is quite hard but I've borne it!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[frisp]

A Bass player stood and he said
I've blown the top off my head
We're expected I know
To give a huge blow
But it's robins are meant to be red..

 

[frisp]

There once was a young man in Goa
Whose wife had a pink feather boa
She left him quite smart
She seemed a young tart
She whores in Hawaii, aloha!!!!

 

[frisp]

The MD he frowned and he swore
These cornets are just such a bore
He had a quick fit
And looked fresh at it
Lets bring the back row to the fore!!

 

[lynchie]

A young man who's called Roger Thorne,
Was musical when he was born,
His back mum would pat
And he'd burp a B flat
And then fart a concerto for horn.

 

[PeterBale]

A bass player stood and he said
"I think that my partner is dead;
He first saw the flavours
Of those semiquavers -
Then decided he'd conk out instead".


The MD he frowned and he swore
As he glanced down and looked at the score:
"You're playing it wrong -
The notes are too long -
I'll just have to show you the door.

A young (?) man who's called Roger Thorne
Wrote music from dusk until dawn.
When asked why he did so
He danced a calypso
Then arranged it for flugel and horn.

There once was a young man in Goa
Who called all his friends on the blower:
He said "How's yer doing,
Is anything brewing?"
Then blew up - just like Krakatoa.

"Forgive me" implored the sop cornet,
"I think I've just swallowed a hornet!
It went down my throat,
I can't play a note,
I might as well just go and pawn it."

 

[Dave Payn]

Recently the BBC ran a 'Limerick Challenge' (thx Skins for the heads up), recognising the limerick as part of National Poetry Day.

As a sad limericker, who has contended himself with lurking recently (a bit Dickensian I know), I thought a Tmp version might be in order:-

Supply the next four lines to any one of the following please :-

A Bass Player stood and he said,

The MD he frowned and he swore,

A young man who's called Roger Thorne,

There once was a young man in Goa,

Forgive me implored the sop cornet,

The MD he frowned and he swore
'I can't ******* take any more!'
You play your brass
Like it comes out your ****
And your tuning's just so bleedin' poor!

Edit: Please keep it clean. Dyl. :wink:

 

[Dave Payn]

A young man who's called Roger Thorne,
Was musical when he was born,
His back mum would pat
And he'd burp a B flat
And then fart a concerto for horn.

10 out of 10 and then some! :lol:

 

[lynchie]

A young man who's called Roger Thorne,
Was musical when he was born,
His back mum would pat
And he'd burp a B flat
And then fart a concerto for horn.

10 out of 10 and then some! :lol:

I thank you! I put it down to years of intensive training, and a twisted personality...

 

[frisp]

Brill, lynchie!

The MD he frowned and he swore
..but chuckled a little bit more
He laughed at the horns
Gave up with tromborns
Told cornets to blow like a whore!

 

[frisp]

There once was a young man in Goa
His Hawaiin wife said "aloha"
He gave a small sigh
While eating a pie
And confessed that his real name was Noah

 

[PeterBale]

The MD he frowned and he swore
That he meant to conduct it in four,
But the band went too fast
And the moment was past,
So it's one in a bar like the score.

 

[Dave Payn]

[
Edit: Please keep it clean. Dyl. :wink:[/quote]

Apologies, Dyl. I was taking the 'swore' element perhaps a little too literally!

 

[PeterBale]

A young man who's called Roger Thorne
Discovered his trousers had gorn -
He still kept his hat on
And wiggled his baton
Looking just like the day he was born.

 

[lynchie]

A Bass Player stood and he said,
"I want to play tuba instead,
The tuba at best
Gets 100 bars rest
So I get one more hour in bed"

 

[PeterBale]

A bass player stood up and said
"I'm fed up of earning no bread".
He got on the 'phone
And bought a trombone,
So now he goes gigging instead.