One for all you soon to be ex students!

Big Twigge

Active Member
THINGS THAT CHANGE WHEN YOU LEAVE UNIVERSITY:
1. 6:00 am is when you get up, not when you go to sleep

2. Having sex in a single bed is absurd.

3. You keep more food than beer in the fridge.

4. Your fantasies of having sex with three women are replaced by fantasies of having sex with anyone at all.

5. You don't volunteer for clinical trials at the local hospital.

6. You know all of the people sleeping in your house.

7. You hear your favourite song in the lift at work.

8. Informative TV does not include Richard and Judy.

9. The bank manager doesn't write threatening letters any more.

10. You carry an umbrella.

11. Seven-day benders are no longer realistic.

12. You don't go to Tesco with all your friends.

13. You have standing orders and direct debits.

14. The heating works in your house.

15. Your friends marry and divorce instead of get together and
break-up.

16. You pay the government thousands of pounds every year.

17. You go from 130 days of holidays to 20.

18. Jeans and a jumper no longer qualify as 'dressed up'.

19. You're the one calling the police because those damn kids next
door won't turn down the stereo.

20. You get out of bed in the morning even if it's
raining.

21. Washing up is not an annual ritual.

22. Older relatives feel comfortable telling sex
jokes around you.

23. You don't know what time the kebab shop closes anymore.

24. Your car insurance goes down and your car payments go up.

25. You feed your dog Pal instead of McDonalds.

26. You don't get ideas for drinks from local tramps.

27. You don't put half-finished curries in the fridge to eat later.

28. You don't spend half your day strategically planning pub crawls.

29. You "hate scrounging students".

30. You no longer have a strange attraction to road signs when drunk.

31. Sleeping in the lounge is a no-no.

32. You can't persuade your flatmates to 'Drink till dawn'.

33. You don't spend Wednesday afternoons in the pub.

34. You always know where you are when you wake up.

35. You no longer take naps from noon to 6 p.m.

36. A fire in the kitchen is not a laugh.

37. You go to the chemist for Panadol and antacids, not condoms and pregnancy test kits.

38. A £3 bottle of wine is no longer 'pretty good stuff'.

39. You can remember the name of the person you wake up next to.

40. You actually eat breakfast foods at breakfast time.

41. You don't have mice living in your kitchen.

42. Grocery lists are longer than pot noodles & cans of lager.

43. You don't go to Bargin Booze to buy Vodka.

44. You have vacuumed.

45. Breaking the law means doing 40 in a 30 zone.

46. 'I just can't drink the way I used to' replaces 'I'm never going
to drink that much again'.

47. Over 90% of the time you spend in front of a
computer is for real work (or in the case of most people reading this tmp)

48. You don't experiment with banned substances.

49. You don't get drunk at home, to save money before going to a
pub.

50. Lunchtime is not 'the morning'.
 

neiltwist

Active Member
that's another three years down the proverbial toilet then! (apart from the little piece of paper you get at the end!)
 

Big Twigge

Active Member
neiltwist said:
that's another three years down the proverbial toilet then! (apart from the little piece of paper you get at the end!)
Shhh, i'll be a fully trained teacher with a degree and a diploma (from first time round!)
University is certainly not a waste of time....tis funfunfun :D
 

Dave Euph

Member
Gosh, you make life after university sound dull! ......

...... wait a minute, who am I kidding, it is dull (in comparison)!
 

lynchie

Active Member
I can't wait to start uni now, all this working has begun to turn me into a grumpy old man (I blame those flaming students, with their loud music at 3am... bloody scroungers...) see what I mean?? It'll be great when I only have to start at 9am and have massive breaks during the day!
 

Valvecap

Member
Lol - a very true list indeed. Im at the other end of that teachin course your on about - just need a job now - perhaps you should add to the list - any ideas anyone?
How about:

51: You now understand why people cant get to band due to work... ;-)
 

Trigger

Member
Brilliant- and yet frighteningly realistic (although I live with the olds, so that sort of behaviour is limited).

Unfortunately the recent truck load of work (accumulated due to the afore mentioned reasons) has meant the social life being put on hold for the time being!! I can’t wait until that last exam in three weeks- we are hitting the pub straight after the exams - and the exam will be finished by 11am! :guiness Should be a good day- assuming I will be able to remember any of it!!:hammer :D
 

Raspberry

Member
Brilliant list - made me jog my memory of my old student days which are far, far gone..............

May I add point 52

52. You have to spend money on clothes for work rather than casual wear (I can't really wear jeans at my workplace..........)

I do remember living in jeans day in and day out........


I must say a lot of point on the list are pretty true.....

oh yes....

53. You own a washing machine rather than going to the launderette - that was a pain to do, lugging the washing to the nearest launderette especially if the washing couldn't wait till I went home to my parents! :roll:
 
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