Well-Known Member
How does your non banding partner view your addiction to Brass?

Do they understand why you are seriously committed to going out twice a week to sit in a shed in the middle of nowhere with like minded eccentrics playing minority music ?

Do they treat you as if you are one quaver short of a crotchet ?


Supporting Member
I have to say that previous to joining my present band (Wem Jubilee) my wife hasnt really been interested in brass bands at all.

But recently she has been with me to two contests, and has even been encouraging me to practice (i didnt think i was that bad!!).
I dont think she really understands why im such a brass nut :lol:, lets face it does anybody know why we are so intrested in brass bands. ive never been able to explain it.

We practice on a Friday nite, and Karen works at sainsbury's at the same time. Unfortunately Karen finishes at work at 10 pm, and im very often late picking her up. Not once has she complained about this.
When we 1st met karen knew that i was mad about banding, and said that she would never stop me from playing, and after knowing her for 13 years she has never once complained about the amount of time i have spent at band (and on tmp!)

Karen has been and always will be the love of my life, and i couldn't wish for a better companioin to see my through the rest of my life.

Anyway thats my say :oops: Beat that!! :lol:


Well-Known Member
I must say, in agreement, that my non banding wife has never said a word against banding in 31 years of marriage, but I do feel that she privately rates it with stamp collecting or similar anorak activities, but she gives me 100% support. (And sometimes regards the "Committee" outlook as a tad Parochial and "Clique" dominated - but that's banding !!)
When I met her in 1971, I gave up banding at the highest (Bass !!) level to spend time with her and put some roots down (Married - 2 wonderful children) - I was out of banding for 18 years, but resumed in 1989 and she has been bemused, tolerant, and both her, and the children can (Occasionally) appreciate our art.
I tried to interest my offspring in brass.
Though they both declined this introduction, they both have made their mark on the local music scene in other areas - my daughter is currently at Leeds College of Music - I'm very proud of them, but it does "Niggle" me that they are not following me into the "Banding" family.
Perhaps I have the best of all worlds !!!!


Supporting Member
Non-banding partner? Whats one of them then? Didn't klnow it was possible to meet anyone from the "outside world" who would put up with a bander for more than 5 minutes!!!!
Actually, marrying another bander has its own drawbacks - notably when you're both trying to get ready for the same gig at the same time, or one of you is in the misddle of "band politics" :cry: - but 99% of the time I couldn';t imagine being with any one who isn't as nuts as me about the whole thing.


Accidental said:
...when you're both trying to get ready for the same gig at the same time...

Or even when you're both getting ready for different gigs at the same time! I converted my wife to banding :D but we now play for different bands. Two sets of band uniforms, two lots of gigs to consider...and when I go back and dep for her band (my old band) it can get very confusing - especially if I'm depping for her!!



Staff member
My wife is not a band addict in any way, but she is happy to come to the occasional concert, although she could never sit through a contest, at least not a set piece competition. As we are both involved in the Salvation rmy, Janet having been in the songsters (choir) until work commitments prevented it, things are not so clear-cut, as many activities involve the band, but are not exclusively band, if you understand what I mean.

One or two things do annoy, such as when banding activities clash with other family events. On our first wedding anniversary I was in Salisbury with the band and songsters - mind, she would have been there herself if our daughter had not been due a couple of weeks after - and next year one of our wind ensemble dates has been changed to accommodate someone's wedding, the new date being my wife's birthday :oops: .

The other one crops up most years, in that I am often away at the Open for my birthday.


Active Member
My 1st wife had no interest in bands whatsoever. The marriage lasted 2 years!

Wife number 2, met playing in a band, still play in the same band and marriage has lasted 8 years!

Love me, Love my band!

However it could be something in the air at Cawston as we have several couples within the band;

Front row cornet & Eb Bass
Sop & Rep
Flugel & Solo Trom
Euph & Perc
Eb Bass & Bb Bass


Active Member
I have been with my partner for 2 years now, and I think she has been converted. Lipservice has never missed a concert or a contest that I have been involved in, she has has even turned up for rehearsals. She has even stood freezing next to the one dog and a duck (not the pub by the way) when we have been carol playing, and last year at the area, she was there giving me and the band her full support, this despite being due with our first child at anytime. The fact that she thought she might be in labour when we were on stage didn't stop her going to support us. Our daughter was born 8 days later.
The one downside to this is that our daughter is now well and truly allergic to Prague!!
God bless our non-banding partners who give us all their support. Where would we be without them eh?


Active Member
iancwilx said:
How does your non banding partner view your addiction to Brass?

She thinks I'm mad :(

iancwilx said:
Do they understand why you are seriously committed to going out twice a week to sit in a shed in the middle of nowhere with like minded eccentrics playing minority music ?

No :(

iancwilx said:
Do they treat you as if you are one quaver short of a crotchet ?

I really am that though :)


Maestro said:
She has even stood freezing next to the one dog and a duck (not the pub by the way) when we have been carol playing

He neglects to mention however, that it was my birthday that day, we had known each other for two months; it was SO cold I was wearing two pairs of jeans, a pair of fishermans socks, two jumpers and a puffa jacket; the reason I stayed quiet and attentive was that my tongue had frozen to the roof of my mouth and I spent the entire afternoon looking like an over chilled michelin man! :shock:

The only consolation, apart from seeing him conduct for the first time, was that I realised I must be in love, cos wild horses with copious amounts of hot chocolate wouldn't have dragged me away :wink:

Big Fella

I honestly do not know many people, who's partner has not had something to do with banding at some point in their life..

I have tried both, ex-girlfriends / engaged partner, who were not banders, hence the word EX. Does not seem to work..

Girlfriend does not play in Brass Bands very often, but plays wind bands and quartets etc, she loves it ( or is that the beer )...


Active Member
Correct me if I am wrong please, but wasn't there once a player with Black Dyke who's wife said to him, "You think more of that band than you do me!", to which he replied, "I think more of Brighouse than I do you love!"......classic eh? :lol: :lol: :lol:

Naomi McFadyen

New Member
I know some people whos partners are non-banders and some really don't understand- someone I knows wife keeps complaining how he's always out... his career is music, and when you play in brass and dance bands you're gonna get late night gigs and rehearsals!... :roll:

With me, I've had a few boyfriends who havent been banders- some have come along with me to rehearsals/concerts and enjoyed it, others not so...
I'd rather have a partner who is a bandsperson, or a musician at least, or a band fanatic! :lol:



Active Member
I think either your spouse has to be in banding, or VERY understanding indeed! Especially if you're in top section, which is like having a second job.
I'm lucky in that my wife is in the same band, in fact our band has four playing couples, and if you count non-playing supporters (secretary, librarian, etc) it's more like ten!
To us the social side of the band is as important as the playing side, which is how it should be IMO.
Well fortunately by beloved and I met through band so we have it as a common interest. It's amazing how things progress and change though. When we were courting our life was simply band, we listened to brass music, attended contests for fun and frequesntly practised together. Of course, you get married and have children and your priorities change but our passion for banding has changed on an equal level too. As much as I enjoy playing, for me banding is all about doing it with Steve, if Steve wasn't in the band I would not be either. However I know that if I wished to play in a band independantly of Steve (no matter how unlikely) he'd support me fully because he's been there and knows what it's like.


Just how can you explain the banding passion to a "non-bander" :!:
My ex husband couldn't understand it,yes he thought we all wore anoraks(honestly I dont posses one really i dont!!) Set piece contests...that puzzled him even more!...."surely once you hear one band play it,they all sound the same??!"
Credit where credits due though.......he did/does have the 3 kids while I'm banding,so thanks Tim for the past present and future,when I'm banding and your on dad duty! :lol:


My ex was a trumpet player................. unfortunately he took the mick out of banding once too often!! Oh yeah and he thought that missing rehearsals was ok!!! :shock: :shock:

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