New Joke...well it is to me anyway.


Active Member
Two Irishmen were walking past the job centre, when they saw a sign in the window for tree fellers.
Paddy said, "Now ain't that a shame, there's only two of us."

Well I like it anyway :lol: :lol:


Active Member
Was it that bad? :oops:

Hey, perhaps we can have a new weekly/monthly competition for the worst joke, in the best possible taste of course, seeing as this is a fmaily site.
Hmmmmmmmmm, let me think...

Q: What do you call a fish with no eyes?
A: Fsh.

Q: What do you call a pig with three eyes?
A: Piiig.


Active Member
What's E.T. short for?

'Cos he hasn't got long legs. :oops:

I'll get my coat.................


Active Member
Q: What's brown and sticky?

A: A Stick!

Q: What's blue and fluffy?

A: Blue fluff!

Q: What's pink and fluffy?

A: Blue fluff in disguise!


Staff member
A golden oldie:

What hangs on the wall and ticks :?: . . . 'Ticky paper :wink:

A more recent one:

What do you call Postman Pat after he's retired :?: . . . . Pat :lol: :lol: :lol:

Naomi McFadyen

New Member
lol! :lol:
Some of those were funny...

What's the last thing to go through a flies mind when it hits a windscreen?

It's ****! lol!
(Edit: Mod)


Why is an elephant big, grey and wrinkled :?:

'cos if it was small, round and white it'd be an aspirin :p


Staff member
How many sopranos does it take to change a light-bulb :?: . . . Only one: she stands still holding the bulb and the world revolves around her :!:

How many conductors does it take to change a light-bulb :?: . . . No-one knows, 'cause nobody watches the conductor :cry: :lol: :lol:

Dave Payn

Active Member
I include this trumpet gag because in a roundabout way, it actually happened to me. I'll explain afterwards.

How do trumpet players normally greet each other?
'Hi, I'm better than you'.

Now on my first day at the RCM (September 1982. I did actually only last a year....) a fellow first year student introduced himself to me and said, 'There's a bit of playing here other than the lessons, but you won't get any 'cos I'm better than you'. Still, he lasted the four years so he must have been right but what a way to introduce yourself!

He remains nameless (for now, save that his initials are DS). All I can say is that I hope the ravages of time have mellowed him from the class A1 p*at he was then!

p.s. Dyl, I had an asterisked word in my Limerick 'edited' and rightly so. That same word appears on this thread in exactly the same asterisked way yet it remains. Consistency, please.




Staff member
The Cornet King said:
How do you know if a percussionist is knocking at you door :?: :?:

The knocking gradually gets faster!! (Sorry percussionists!) :D

You forgot the other bit about him not knowing when to come in :wink: :lol: :lol:

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