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Found this in the band newsletter and felt it had to be shared with all you lovely people. these are all actual answers given by 5th and 6th grade kids in ohio, during history tests and sunday school tests. enjoy:

1. Moses led the Hevrew slaves to the Red Sea where they made unleavened bread, which is bread made without any ingredients. Moses went up onto Mount Cyanide to get the ten commandos. He died before he ever reached Canada but the commandos made it.

2. Solomon had 3oo wives and 700 porcupines. he was a actual hysterical fugure as well as being in the bible. It sounds like he was sort of busy too.

3. The greatest writer of the Renaissance was William Shakespeare. He was born in the year 1564, supposedly on his birthday. He never made much money and is famous only because of his plays. He wrote tragedies, comedies and hysterectomies, all in Islamic pentameter.

4. Johan Bach wrote a great many musical compositions and had a large number of children. In between he practised on an old spinster which he kept up in the attic. Bach died from 1750 to the present. Bach was the most famous composer in the world and so was Handel. Handel was half German, half Italian and half English. He was very large.

5. Beethoven wrote music even though he was deaf. He was so deaf that he wrote loud music and became the father of rock and roll. Hetook long walks in the forest even when everyone was calling for him. Beethoven expired in 1827 and later died for this.

6. The nineteenth century was a time of a great many thoughts and inventions. People stopped reproducing by hand and started reproducing by machine. The invention of the steamboat caused a network of rivers to spring up.

7. Louis Pasteur discovered a cure for rabbits but I dont know why.

8. Charles Darwin was a naturalist. He wrote the organ of the species. It was very long people got upset about it and had trials to see if it was true. He sort of said God's days were not just 24 hours but without watches who knew anyhow? I dont get it.

9. Madman Curie discovered radio. She was the first woman to do what she did. Other women have become scientists since her but they didnt get to find radios because they were already taken.

10. Karl Marx was one of the Marx brothers. The other three were in the movies. Karl made speeches and started revolutions. Someone in the family had to have a job I guess.

*all spelling and punctuation mistakes are as I found them written in the newsletter

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