Hello Sailor!

Dave Payn

Active Member
A depressed young London woman was so desperate that she decided to
end her life by throwing herself into the Thames. When she went down
the docks, a handsome young sailor noticed her tears and took pity on

"Look, you've got a lot to live for", he said. "I'm off to America in
the morning, and if you like, I can stow you away on my ship.
I'll take good care of you and bring you food every day". Moving
closer, he slipped his arm around her shoulder and added, "I'll keep you
happy, and you'll keep me happy".

The girl nodded. After all, what did she have to lose? That night,
the sailor brought her aboard and hid her in a lifeboat. From then
on, every night he brought her three sandwiches and a piece of fruit
and they made passionate love until dawn.

Three weeks later during a routine search, the captain
discovered her. "What are you doing here?" the captain asked. "I have
an arrangement with one of the sailors", she explained. "He's taking me
to America, and he's feeding me." "What are you doing for him?" said the

"He's screwing me" said the girl. "He certainly is," replied the
"This is the Woolwich ferry."


Active Member
It's a Payn Classic ... but shouldn't it really be under the "Bad Jokes" topic ;)


Active Member
i have serious doubts about this joke...
a straight sailor?!?!?!
surely an oxymoron!!!!

Product tMP members are discussing