For the Hypochondriacs
- Thread starter Curiosity_Kills
- Start date
Just messing....typed in "Soprano Cornet":
"Classic case of Soprano Cornet Syndrome"
Cause: computer virus
Symptoms: extreme flatulence, sniffing, groin swelling
Cure: cryogenic freezing until science catches up
I thought the symptoms were very accurate :lol:
"Classic case of Soprano Cornet Syndrome"
Cause: computer virus
Symptoms: extreme flatulence, sniffing, groin swelling
Cure: cryogenic freezing until science catches up
I thought the symptoms were very accurate :lol:
Liz Courts
Active Member
I'm glad it's that easy. :wink:
Bored (again) so I had to put in my own instrument.......
Good lord! You are suffering from
Flugel's Disease.
Cause: secret military experiments
Symptoms: extreme delusions, eyelid swelling, slightly high blood-alcohol level
Cure: prayer
...not sure about the eyelid bit but the other symptoms seem pretty accurate in my case.......
Good lord! You are suffering from
Flugel's Disease.
Cause: secret military experiments
Symptoms: extreme delusions, eyelid swelling, slightly high blood-alcohol level
Cure: prayer
...not sure about the eyelid bit but the other symptoms seem pretty accurate in my case.......
Jo Elson
Member
Congratulations! You are suffering from
Blonde's Disorder.
Cause: mobile phone radiation
Symptoms: pale skin, bad poetry, neck shortening
Cure: cryogenic freezing until science catches up
(notice how it says congratulations to having blonde's disorder)
And thought i would check if flugel horn was the same as flugel
You'd better sit down. You are suffering from
Flugel horn's Disorder.
Cause: caught in hospitals
Symptoms: thirst for human blood, forgetting what day it is, colour blindness, extreme bad poetry
Cure: attempt to repeat cause
Blonde's Disorder.
Cause: mobile phone radiation
Symptoms: pale skin, bad poetry, neck shortening
Cure: cryogenic freezing until science catches up
(notice how it says congratulations to having blonde's disorder)
And thought i would check if flugel horn was the same as flugel
You'd better sit down. You are suffering from
Flugel horn's Disorder.
Cause: caught in hospitals
Symptoms: thirst for human blood, forgetting what day it is, colour blindness, extreme bad poetry
Cure: attempt to repeat cause
flugelgal
Active Member
Good lord! You are suffering from
Flugelhorn's Lurgy.
Cause: too much sleep
Symptoms: hot flushes, swarms of bees, black spots
Cure: expensive biofeedback devices
You'd better sit down. You are suffering from
Scotland's Disorder.
Cause: influence of the Devil
Symptoms: mild sore throat, screaming, bowel infrequency
Cure: don't do it again
Congratulations! You are suffering from
Mouthpiece.com Whit Friday Band's Lurgy.
Cause: natural sign of ageing
Symptoms: shouting, blurred vision, mild liver pain
Cure: paint a black cross on your front door and wait
Flugelhorn's Lurgy.
Cause: too much sleep
Symptoms: hot flushes, swarms of bees, black spots
Cure: expensive biofeedback devices
You'd better sit down. You are suffering from
Scotland's Disorder.
Cause: influence of the Devil
Symptoms: mild sore throat, screaming, bowel infrequency
Cure: don't do it again
Congratulations! You are suffering from
Mouthpiece.com Whit Friday Band's Lurgy.
Cause: natural sign of ageing
Symptoms: shouting, blurred vision, mild liver pain
Cure: paint a black cross on your front door and wait
Naomi McFadyen
New Member
Percistitis.
Cause: allergy to water
Symptoms: extremely dry mouth, American accent, blood powdering, stiffness
Cure: fire
:lol: :lol: :lol:
Congratulations! You are suffering from
Drumsosis.
Cause: drug abuse
Symptoms: beeping, metallic skin, extremely rosy cheeks
Cure: pass it on to someone else within seven days
:lol: !!!!!!!!! :lol: !!!!!! :lol: :lol: :lol:
You are suffering from
TMP's Disease.
Cause: allergy to spam
Symptoms: drooping eyelids, mild back pain, eyelid swelling
Cure: take three vitamin C tablets every day for the rest of your life
:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
Cause: allergy to water
Symptoms: extremely dry mouth, American accent, blood powdering, stiffness
Cure: fire
:lol: :lol: :lol:
Congratulations! You are suffering from
Drumsosis.
Cause: drug abuse
Symptoms: beeping, metallic skin, extremely rosy cheeks
Cure: pass it on to someone else within seven days
:lol: !!!!!!!!! :lol: !!!!!! :lol: :lol: :lol:
You are suffering from
TMP's Disease.
Cause: allergy to spam
Symptoms: drooping eyelids, mild back pain, eyelid swelling
Cure: take three vitamin C tablets every day for the rest of your life
:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
Naomi McFadyen
New Member
:lol: Sorry, I could do this all night....
It's just as I feared. You are suffering from
Cymbalsosis
Cause: improperly prepared beer
Symptoms: steam whistling from ears, absenteeism, revolving neck
Cure: take a few potions of extra healing before going to bed
-----------------------------------------------
Tavistock's Lurgy.
Cause: influence of the Devil
Symptoms: howling at the moon, rapid heart beat, mild extra legs, occasional long hair
Cure: drink lots of water
lmao!! :lol:
-------------------------------------------------
I'm afraid it's bad news. You are suffering from
Stressosis.
Cause: lack of oranges
Symptoms: shrunken head, sniffing, dislike of modern architecture, extreme colour blindness
Cure: attempt to repeat cause
:lol: :lol:
It's just as I feared. You are suffering from
Cymbalsosis
Cause: improperly prepared beer
Symptoms: steam whistling from ears, absenteeism, revolving neck
Cure: take a few potions of extra healing before going to bed
-----------------------------------------------
Tavistock's Lurgy.
Cause: influence of the Devil
Symptoms: howling at the moon, rapid heart beat, mild extra legs, occasional long hair
Cure: drink lots of water
lmao!! :lol:
-------------------------------------------------
I'm afraid it's bad news. You are suffering from
Stressosis.
Cause: lack of oranges
Symptoms: shrunken head, sniffing, dislike of modern architecture, extreme colour blindness
Cure: attempt to repeat cause
:lol: :lol:
spooky or what??
Bad luck! You are suffering from
Tutti cornetitis.
Cause: unknown
Symptoms: water retention, rosy cheeks, revolving neck
Cure: take three leeches before going to bed
Bad luck! You are suffering from
Tutti cornetitis.
Cause: unknown
Symptoms: water retention, rosy cheeks, revolving neck
Cure: take three leeches before going to bed
Curiosity_Kills
Member
Congratulations! You are suffering from
Moderatorosis.
Cause: poor hygiene
Symptoms: ability to fly, occasional nice dreams, muscle spasms, occasional froglike eyes
Cure: drink lots of water
:twisted: hehehe
Moderatorosis.
Cause: poor hygiene
Symptoms: ability to fly, occasional nice dreams, muscle spasms, occasional froglike eyes
Cure: drink lots of water
:twisted: hehehe
drummergurl
Active Member
Congratulations! You are suffering from
Percussionosis.
Cause: overwork
Symptoms: blurred vision, sudden gullibility, speaking in tongues, pale skin
Cure: fresh air
........................................................
Congratulations! You are suffering from
Timpani's Syndrome.
Cause: allergy to noodles
Symptoms: frequent puncture wounds, watery eyes, steam whistling from ears, muscle spasms
Cure: trepanning <---- in english???
Percussionosis.
Cause: overwork
Symptoms: blurred vision, sudden gullibility, speaking in tongues, pale skin
Cure: fresh air
........................................................
Congratulations! You are suffering from
Timpani's Syndrome.
Cause: allergy to noodles
Symptoms: frequent puncture wounds, watery eyes, steam whistling from ears, muscle spasms
Cure: trepanning <---- in english???
Curiosity_Kills
Member
drummergurl said:
it's where they drill a hole in your head to release 'evil spirits'
Wow! GSCE history had a use!
drummergurl
Active Member
ooooooooooooooooooooooo
It's just as I feared. You are suffering from
Sleepyness' Disease.
Cause: caught in hospitals
Symptoms: high blood-alcohol level, extreme chest pain, fatigue, sudden Hitler moustache
Cure: wake up and realise it was all just a dream
It's just as I feared. You are suffering from
Sleepyness' Disease.
Cause: caught in hospitals
Symptoms: high blood-alcohol level, extreme chest pain, fatigue, sudden Hitler moustache
Cure: wake up and realise it was all just a dream
Curiosity_Kills
Member
aimee_euph
Member
Bad luck! You are suffering from
Euphoniumitis.
Cause: watching too much television
Symptoms: grimacing, dilation of pupils, sneezing, sudden electric shocks
Cure: take a few Prozac tablets and come back in the morning
hmm....
and also found this...on the second link
aimee
n. 1. an exceptional drink. 2. a beautiful disco.
"That aimee is exceptional, Billie!"
and then....
Good lord! You are suffering from
Aimee's Syndrome.
Cause: stress
Symptoms: mild hyperactivity, revolving neck, coughing
Cure: take a day off work
Euphoniumitis.
Cause: watching too much television
Symptoms: grimacing, dilation of pupils, sneezing, sudden electric shocks
Cure: take a few Prozac tablets and come back in the morning
hmm....
and also found this...on the second link
aimee
n. 1. an exceptional drink. 2. a beautiful disco.
"That aimee is exceptional, Billie!"
and then....
Good lord! You are suffering from
Aimee's Syndrome.
Cause: stress
Symptoms: mild hyperactivity, revolving neck, coughing
Cure: take a day off work
bassinthebathroom
Active Member
http://www.thesurrealist.co.uk/disease.cgi?p=BOC
BOC' Lurgy... how terrible... could there be a massive queue of tMP-er's on the way to their G.P.'s now?!? :lol:
http://www.thesurrealist.co.uk/disease.cgi?p=Tuba
Hmm.... this is just too much fun!
http://www.thesurrealist.co.uk/disease.cgi?p=Bass+Section
...now this is spookily accurate!
BOC' Lurgy... how terrible... could there be a massive queue of tMP-er's on the way to their G.P.'s now?!? :lol:
http://www.thesurrealist.co.uk/disease.cgi?p=Tuba
Hmm.... this is just too much fun!
http://www.thesurrealist.co.uk/disease.cgi?p=Bass+Section
...now this is spookily accurate!