For the Hypochondriacs

WoodenFlugel

Moderator
Staff member
Just messing....typed in "Soprano Cornet":

"Classic case of Soprano Cornet Syndrome"

Cause: computer virus

Symptoms: extreme flatulence, sniffing, groin swelling

Cure: cryogenic freezing until science catches up


I thought the symptoms were very accurate :lol:
 

lynchie

Active Member
scarily accurate...

You'd better sit down. You are suffering from
Trombonitis' Disorder.
Cause: spaceborne bacteria

Symptoms: vague blindness, back pain, excessive hair growth

Cure: Kryptonite
 

WoodenFlugel

Moderator
Staff member
Bored (again) so I had to put in my own instrument.......

Good lord! You are suffering from
Flugel's Disease.

Cause: secret military experiments

Symptoms: extreme delusions, eyelid swelling, slightly high blood-alcohol level

Cure: prayer

...not sure about the eyelid bit but the other symptoms seem pretty accurate in my case.......
 

Jo Elson

Member
Congratulations! You are suffering from
Blonde's Disorder.
Cause: mobile phone radiation

Symptoms: pale skin, bad poetry, neck shortening

Cure: cryogenic freezing until science catches up
(notice how it says congratulations to having blonde's disorder)

And thought i would check if flugel horn was the same as flugel

You'd better sit down. You are suffering from
Flugel horn's Disorder.
Cause: caught in hospitals

Symptoms: thirst for human blood, forgetting what day it is, colour blindness, extreme bad poetry

Cure: attempt to repeat cause
 

akwarose

Active Member
quite worrying, as most of it is true!

Congratulations! You are suffering from
3rd cornet syndromeosis.
Cause: self-abuse

Symptoms: vomiting, tree-climbing, tongue forking

Cure: none - oh no, i'm doomed :shock: !!!!!!!!!!!!!
 

flugelgal

Active Member
Good lord! You are suffering from
Flugelhorn's Lurgy.
Cause: too much sleep

Symptoms: hot flushes, swarms of bees, black spots

Cure: expensive biofeedback devices


You'd better sit down. You are suffering from
Scotland's Disorder.
Cause: influence of the Devil

Symptoms: mild sore throat, screaming, bowel infrequency

Cure: don't do it again

Congratulations! You are suffering from
Mouthpiece.com Whit Friday Band's Lurgy.
Cause: natural sign of ageing

Symptoms: shouting, blurred vision, mild liver pain

Cure: paint a black cross on your front door and wait
 

Naomi McFadyen

New Member
Percistitis.
Cause: allergy to water

Symptoms: extremely dry mouth, American accent, blood powdering, stiffness

Cure: fire


:lol: :lol: :lol:


Congratulations! You are suffering from
Drumsosis.
Cause: drug abuse

Symptoms: beeping, metallic skin, extremely rosy cheeks

Cure: pass it on to someone else within seven days


:lol: !!!!!!!!! :lol: !!!!!! :lol: :lol: :lol:


You are suffering from
TMP's Disease.
Cause: allergy to spam

Symptoms: drooping eyelids, mild back pain, eyelid swelling

Cure: take three vitamin C tablets every day for the rest of your life

:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
 

Naomi McFadyen

New Member
:lol: Sorry, I could do this all night....

It's just as I feared. You are suffering from
Cymbalsosis

Cause: improperly prepared beer
Symptoms: steam whistling from ears, absenteeism, revolving neck
Cure: take a few potions of extra healing before going to bed

-----------------------------------------------

Tavistock's Lurgy.
Cause: influence of the Devil

Symptoms: howling at the moon, rapid heart beat, mild extra legs, occasional long hair

Cure: drink lots of water


lmao!! :lol:

-------------------------------------------------

I'm afraid it's bad news. You are suffering from
Stressosis.
Cause: lack of oranges

Symptoms: shrunken head, sniffing, dislike of modern architecture, extreme colour blindness

Cure: attempt to repeat cause

:lol: :lol:
 

2nd man down

Moderator
Staff member
spooky or what??

Bad luck! You are suffering from
Tutti cornetitis.
Cause: unknown

Symptoms: water retention, rosy cheeks, revolving neck

Cure: take three leeches before going to bed
 
Congratulations! You are suffering from
Moderatorosis.

Cause: poor hygiene

Symptoms: ability to fly, occasional nice dreams, muscle spasms, occasional froglike eyes

Cure: drink lots of water

:twisted: hehehe
 

drummergurl

Active Member
Congratulations! You are suffering from
Percussionosis.
Cause: overwork

Symptoms: blurred vision, sudden gullibility, speaking in tongues, pale skin

Cure: fresh air

........................................................

Congratulations! You are suffering from
Timpani's Syndrome.
Cause: allergy to noodles

Symptoms: frequent puncture wounds, watery eyes, steam whistling from ears, muscle spasms

Cure: trepanning <---- in english???
 

drummergurl

Active Member
ooooooooooooooooooooooo

It's just as I feared. You are suffering from
Sleepyness' Disease.
Cause: caught in hospitals

Symptoms: high blood-alcohol level, extreme chest pain, fatigue, sudden Hitler moustache

Cure: wake up and realise it was all just a dream
 
Bad luck! You are suffering from
Euphoniumitis.
Cause: watching too much television

Symptoms: grimacing, dilation of pupils, sneezing, sudden electric shocks

Cure: take a few Prozac tablets and come back in the morning

hmm....

and also found this...on the second link

aimee
n. 1. an exceptional drink. 2. a beautiful disco.
"That aimee is exceptional, Billie!"

and then....
Good lord! You are suffering from
Aimee's Syndrome.
Cause: stress

Symptoms: mild hyperactivity, revolving neck, coughing

Cure: take a day off work
 

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