DEATH IN THE BOX - a tMP Murder Mystery


Active Member
It was a typical Yorkshire morning - cold. No snow yet, but enough of a frost to make wandering around Queensbury distinctly hazardous. The sun was trying to get out from behind a cloud to melt the frozen ground in preparation for one of Queensbury's greatest days.

No, Black Dyke hadn't triumphed (as far as they were aware), nor was CG having her occasional flugel lesson at the bandroom. Today was the day of the inaugural tMP Contest.

Many folk from the tMP forum were in attendance, competing as regional bands. Wem were there in their entirety, having far too many members on the forum it was felt to be only fair that they came in their own right. Roger Thorne was to wield their baton - much to his disgust as he was rather upset his request to conduct the Yorkshire band had been turned down in favour of some bloke called Alan Morrison, whoever he may be.

The contest organisation was being masterminded by none other than Peter Bale - the most organised tMP mod to be found that day, and the only one who couldn't think of a good reason why he shouldn't do the hard work. The format was simple - an entertainment programme to feature The Bombasto and a new testpiece by James McFadyen entitled "Very Difficult" (title having been chosen by tMP poll). Some debate had taken place as to who should adjudicate. A poisoned chalice, some said, others were keen to conduct their regional bands. The only thing they could all agree on was that a robot would be the best choice. Sadly, the robot had gone on a hot date with Norris the slug, so a substandard human would have to do. So.... they put names in a hat and drew one at not so random.


And was he unhappy about it!!! He'd been planning his programme for months and to hand it over to another MD was like giving away a
Prestige - silly. So he entrusted it to Valvecap, who could be relied on to carry on his good work and not wear awful shirts!

Anyway, back in the Black Dyke bandroom the air was humming with the sound of many tMPers warming up. The composer in residence was prowling around issuing errata at the last minute due to the original having been written on Sibelius. CG was adding extra twiddles to her Orange Juice, Darth Tuba was freeing up his valves and practising pedal notes. Nadia was practising his dancing - without CG's tuition he was floundering badly.

Wem took to the stage first - as befitted the most represented tMP band. theMusicMan was compereing the contest and introduced them as Band Number One, Mr. Adjudicator. On your whistle...

And off they went. One band after another they played their hearts out. The Yorkshire band's Riverdance fell flat due to Nadia falling off the stage. Darth Tuba's valves functioned well for the North West. HomocidalBennyBoy led the L&SC band in a programme with surreal overtones. CG played OJ in a short skirt and mucho lipstick in homage to Brassed Off, and then had to cope with half the male tMPers trying to look up her skirt.

All in all it was a good contest. Bombasto was played brilliantly by all bands. Very Difficult, on the other hand, didn't go down too well. The malign influence of Sibelius had wrecked the composer's muse and the errata hadn't got to anyone. James was furious with everyone - and told them so.

It came to the close of the contest, and tMM went to the box with Peter Bale to retrieve Straightmute from his exile.

Suddenly the room froze to the sound of a strangled gasp from the two mods. White-faced and shaking, tMM staggered from the box to say to the assembled bands,

"We need police. NOW."

Sparkling Quavers ran to the phone. Meanwhile back in the box, tMM and Peter Bale stared at the slumped figure of Straightmute at the desk. A grey pallor clashed rather with his shirt, and his lips were a ghastly blue. His cup of coffee was spilled across the desk, and by his right hand was a ball of cotton wool.

He was dead.

To be continued....if you want...

Rach x


Active Member
IF WE WANT??????? Of course we want more!!!!! That's excellent Rach. Please don't keep us waiting long for the next installment......

James McFadyen

New Member
Good stuff!

perhaps the contest went on for so long, he began to get really hungry so started to munch on the scores and chocked on the paper! :wink:

As for the cotton wool, could this be straightmute's lucky charm?

mmm, can't wait to find out more!

Big Twigge

Active Member
Some possible suspects....

James McFadyen...not happy about how badly very difficult had been played

PeterBale or theMusicman.....combined effort, first on the scene

Nadia...not happy about falling of stage...was obviously adjudicators fault

to name but a few, we mustn't forget cornetgirl though, getting back at those male tMPers looking up her skirt

So who is to be the detective?


Active Member
My co-author, Big Twigge, and I are currently discussing plot twists and will update you all very soon!

Rach x


Active Member
I'm not really dead everyone, but thanks for all the expressions of sympathy just the same.

PM me if you'd like to know who did it!!!



Active Member

It's obvious really:

1.Wem Played first
2. StraightMute's ashen complexion (thereby signifying death occured some time ago)
3. I am a percussionist with a habit of breaking sticks (yes, even the supposedly unbreakable ones)

So there you have it, I broke a large stick whilst hitting something or someone and the remnants flew into the adjudicators box and killed him. (anyone who wishes me to practice this in time for area contests etc should contact me with a price they are willing to pay) :twisted:



Active Member
Aha - that's wat u think....but I have drugged all tMPers so they think they know whodunit but they're all wrong hahaha :twisted:

Rach x


Mucho congrats Rach (and Big Twigge) - that's a beaut!

I will now spend all week coming up with some ludicrously complicated theory of who did it, only to have it pitifully shot down in flames by next week's instalment....



Active Member
why is it always me who falls off the feckin stage!!! :oops:
i vote for horns to go back in the middle!!! :roll:
that version of riverdance reminds me of yabb :D


Staff member
First class - and think of the benefit to the Red Cross from all those copies of the test piece being sold :!: :wink: :lol:

Maybe we need to send for InspectorGadget to find the killer :shock:

Di B

Excellent storyline Rach! :lol: Unfortunatly I have damaged my brain beyone repair with alcohol, but if I hadn't I still don't think I'd comeup with anything this good!!

Any the soap back in the same week too - excellent!

Note to moddy type peeps.... just wondering if older threads of the 'story' variety could be stored somewhere special so people can always read through them? (A tMP library!!!) Here, you could cut out posts like this one too so the story ran straight through? Not sure how feasible that is!


Active Member
Nadia said:
why is it always me who falls off the feckin stage!!! :oops:
i vote for horns to go back in the middle!!! :roll:
that version of riverdance reminds me of yabb :D

Why do you think??????!!!!!

Glad you all like it, I'm writing part 2 as we speak and will run it past the "editor" aka the Twigge who must be obeyed and post it asap.

Rach x
My money is on Roger Thorne - he was so angry and frustrated that he had to conduct Wem opposed to Yorkshire he lashed out and Straighmute was the unfortunate victim!

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