Daft Definitions


Avoidable - What a bullfighter tries to do.

Burglarize - What a crook sees with.

Counterfeiter - Workers who put together kitchen cabinets.

Eclipse - What a barber does for a living.

Eyedropper - A clumsy optician.

Heroes - What a guy in a boat does.

Left Bank - What the robber did after his bag was full of loot.

Misty - How golfers create divots.

Paradox - Two physicians.

Pharmacist - A helper on the farm.

Polarize - What penguins see with.

Relief - What trees do in the spring.

Rubberneck - What you do to relax your wife.

Dave Payn

Active Member
Good ones!

Rather like those definitions allegedly submitted to the Washington Post

Coffee - A person who is coughed upon

Willy-nilly - Impotent

Others to consider?

Whisky - What a drunk says when he/she can't find the tools required to open the front door.

Zidane - commonly thought to be an excellent French footballer, but in fact, a familiar directive at London football grounds when a fan or fans stand up from their seats during an exciting passage of play.

Rectum - What the Titanic did to its passengers.

Farted - Edward when he goes abroad.

Ejaculate - An expression mostly heard in the North of England when anyone by the name of Jack is seen by others to be of a tardy disposition.

Nightingale - A windy evening.

Buttercup - The art of raising one's backside.

Dublin - Anything multiplied by 2

Scone - An expression heard when something's disappeared without explanation.

French Horn - Marianne Faithfull

Manx - Mancunians

Brief Encounter - A gathering of Y-fronts

Badminton - An out of date packet of Polos

Dave Payn

Active Member

Delight - To turn off a lamp.

Natural - An ancient trumpet specialist, given to playing behing the beat.

Glockenspiel - A lecture on tuned percussion.

Bernadette - To throw a domestic bill into the fire.

Dave Payn

Active Member
Damn you, yessir! I've got the bug now! ;-)

Tuberculosis - The nearest bass brass instrument to hand.

Mucal - A cat's meow.

Mucus - An irritated cat's meow.

Viking - A transsexual Scandinavian ruler.

Public - What a desperate drinker does to the bar when his/her local has run out of beer.

Wassail - What lager drinkers frequently ask.

Sperm - French Spam.

Ex Lax - The reason a woman dumped her boyfriend.

Protein - A young prostitute

Dave Payn

Active Member
OK, last lot! (amid cries of 'Thank God for that!')

Wilful - Bill's eaten too much again....

Registered - What Reginald produces in the lavatory.

Microbes - Michael gets dressed.

Intermezzo - To bury a soprano.

President - To damage a gift

Brasserie - What www.themouthpiece.com might be described as.

I give up! :oops: :lol:


New Member
Yes, folks, you're right ...

Yes folks, you're right, I can officially confirm that Dave Payn has finally lost it altogether! I'll have him sectioned on Monday (any suggestions for which section?!?).
I also note that there have been 25757 posts since I last logged on a couple of weeks ago, so he's not the only one with nothing better to do, obviously!
:roll: Frenchie


[quote="Dave Payn"
Manx - Mancunians [/quote]

Oh Dave oh Dave oh Dave :roll: I'm going to have to correct you! A Manx person is someone from the Isle Of Man!

Mancs are Mancunians! Being a Liverpool fan, I don't think you could have wrote any an bigger insult! :evil:

Still, I forgive you :wink: :lol: (Well i will when I get a public apology :wink: )

Dave Payn

Active Member
Yes, manx yessir! I know where the Manx really are! The whole point of this thread is surely that they're all a play on words, which 'manx' was intended to be! In any case, Frenchie's right! Wibble!

Nevertheless, apologies for any offence! ;-)

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