Conductors/Compere's Clangers

I know this has been discussed before but it was quite a while ago and we have a lot more members now and we definitely need a injection of humour before we start disappearing up our own orifices.

Ok, I'll start. :wink:

A compere once announced a band's overture saying 'now the band will play the overture one thousand, eight hundred and twelve (1812)!

C'mon you must know some. :lol:


Active Member
It was the day after our Conductor's Stag Night and we had a nice garden job.

We were playing Born Free, he started to announce it:

"We're going to play a piece from a very famous film <Pause>
About, erm ... <pause> ...

... Living in the Wild ...

Born Free ..."

The band were in hysterics!!!
There's quite a few on Harrogate band's website (I think?!). Past remarks, stuff like that:

'Your bass drum sounds like a dead cow'

Love it!! :)
Not sure which band it was though, or which adjudicator, be nice to know....!


Our conductor sings (as I'm sure I've mentioned before) this gives our ensemble a break and also adds another dimension to the concert.

Anyway a couple of weeks ago she had arranged her own 50th birthday concert at which she was to sing as well. One of our cornet players is responsible for setting up the CD player, sound levels etc. Well, Chris announced the next piece was to be a folk piece depicting a warm summers evening..........when the CD started up Pete (as guided by Chris!) had set the wrong track going and she ended up sing Drink to me Only without words or music!!!!!!!


We had Frans Violet conduct us for Masquerade at the Nationals in 2002. He's a superb musician but kept singing "hepatitis b" at us during the rehearsals to help with the quintuplets :lol:


New Member
fartycat said:
We had Frans Violet conduct us for Masquerade at the Nationals in 2002. He's a superb musician but kept singing "hepatitis b" at us during the rehearsals to help with the quintuplets :lol:
Yeh - Francey rocks! I remember "Bouncey Balls Bebeys" etc prior to Revelation at our Open rehearsals a few years ago.


Active Member
I remember playing in an 'open-air service' many years ago and the tune we were using was 'The Old Rugged Cross'. Our Bandmaster said to our percussionist who was also our vocal soloist " We'll just have a quartet to play and you sing the verse Bob and we'll all join in the chorus". Bob replied " But I don't know the words BM". The reply was " Don't be silly, everyone knows the words, they'll come to you when you start singing".

Bob sang.

"At the old rugged cross was an old rugged cross, a rugged old rugged old cross.
And the old rugged cross, the rugged old cross was a rugged old, rugged old cross."
:!: :oops:


We played the theme from Superman at an entertainment contest many many years ago.
Announced as "the theme music from Superman one, eleven, and one hundred and eleven" :D

There is also the classic annoucment of "One moment in time by Hootney Whiston" :D


This was waaaaaay b4 my time but i remember reading about an adjudicator's comments with regards 2 resurgam. I dont remember the band but the conductor was Eric Ball himself and they said:

"The interpretation of the conductor is, im sure, not in the best interests of what the composer intended"

or summit like that

gotta laff reely



Active Member
Our very own Straightmute (we love him really!) is quite good at this in his own way. Last summer on a bandstand gig he announced that we were about to play the theme music from the well know film Harry Potter and the Sorceror's Apprentice :?:

The compere at St Helen's last year got a bit confuzzled by the title of the first band's offering (Tournaments for Brass), which he announced as Duets and Trios, thus annoying Richard Evans in the process!

Rach x
There's one piece called 'somewhere out there' which is the theme music from 'an american tale' and our conductor would announce it to the audience but forget the details for example he would go on about how "it's from a film about a mouse called.. erm..." and we'd always have to whisper to him it's name and then he'd go "from the film.. erm......." and again we'd have to shadily mutter the name to him. Very funny really, seeing as he didn't really have to announce the entire plot of the film to which the music came from :lol: We eventually wrote it all down at the top of the score so he could just read it off. :lol:

He's a superb musician but kept singing "hepatitis b" at us during the rehearsals to help with the quintuplets

My teacher does this! She came up with "oh shut up you nitwit" for the rythm of a piece i was playing! And there are many more some of which i can't really put on here.......


Active Member
He's a superb musician but kept singing "hepatitis b" at us during the rehearsals to help with the quintuplets

in my youth band we had for one for a section in music from kantara, it was i like tea and toast for breakfast, i like tea and toast and marmalade for breakfast, but not with jam.

Roger Thorne

Active Member
We played a concert recently in which one of our band members stepped in at short notice to compere. We had music by GEOFF Richards, Gilbert VITNER and where going to compete in the Midlands Areas at BUXTON.



Active Member
When I was in the forces, we had a concert in Germany at Detmold music academy.
The hall was full of students all waiting eagerly to hear this 'great' British Army band. Our DoM at the time, wasn't all that happy to be doing the concert, and when he announced our finale we all cringed.

"For our finale, we will play the preludde to act iii from Loehengerin by that well known boxhead composer Willie Wagner!"

Needless to say a lot of apologising was needed! :oops: :oops:


Supporting Member
This one is gonna live with me forever.

I was conducting a band in an open air concert. In announcng the pieces I had to walk some 10-15 yards from the band to where the audience started.

One piece we played was 'You'll Never Walk Alone' which in rehearsals throughout the previous weeks had endearingly got changed to 'You'll Never Walk Again'.

Anyway, at the concert I walked those 10/15 yards introduced the piece to the rather large audience of young and old, some in wheelchairs, some on crutches as - oh yes I did - 'You'll Never Walk Again'. I turned to return to the band only realising after 4/5 paces that the band were in stitches. I reached the band and was gently told what I'd said so I had to turn around with a rather sheepish look on my face to announce the correct title.

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