Blonde golf

Dave Payn

Active Member
A man enters a bus with his pockets full of golf balls and sits down next
to a blonde.

The blonde keeps looking quizzically at him and his bulging pockets.

Finally, after many such glances from her, he says, "It's golf balls."

The blonde continues to look at him,thoughtfully,and finally asks,

"Does it hurt as much as tennis elbow?"


Active Member
Talking of blondes and golf.
Two blondes are playing golf when one trips over her high heels and injures herself.
The other rushes back to the clubhouse, apprehends the steward and says 'Quick my friend has injured herself between the first and second hole'. 'Blimey ' says the steward 'there's not going to be much room to stick a plaster' :wink:


Active Member
This is my favourite golf joke, first heard told by Les Beevers (who knows more good golf jokes than anyone I've ever met) at a Marple concert a few years ago.

A man walks into the pro shop at a very posh golf club and asks if someone can rate his handicap for him, as it's a few years since he played.
"No problem" says the pro. "Be on the first tee at 9.00 sharp tomorrow, I'll play a round with you, and assess your handicap accordingly."
"That's fine," says the man, "but I may be a tiny bit late".

So next day, they tee off dead on 9.00, and by the end of the round the 'new player' has beaten the pro by 2 shots - five under par. The pro is amazed. "You really haven't played for years?". "No, honestly". "Right, same time tomorrow then and we'll make sure it's not a fluke".
"That's fine," says the man, "but I may just be a tiny bit late".

Tomorrow comes, and again they tee off right on 9.00, and by the end of the round the 'new player' has beaten the pro again, this time by 3 shots - seven under par - and playing left-handed! The pro is stunned. "I've never met anyone who can play right and left handed, and to such a standard, too! Tell me, why did you decide to play left-handed today?"
"Well," says the man. "It's like this. If I wake up, and my wife is lying on her right side, I play right-handed. If she's lying on her left side, I play left-handed"

"And what if she's lying on her back"

"That's when I'll be a little bit late..........." :wink:

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