Best Episode of Phoenix Nights


Active Member
So what is the best episode of Phoenix Nights?

I like the 3rd/4th? episode of Series 1, the Keith Lard story is ace and the episode is rounded off by the "pyskick" who gets the word "nonce"... quality :lol: :lol: :lol:


Active Member
well, going to have to go for the last episode of series one.

"what are you going to do old man on your own?"

"he's not on his own"

"what've you done to your hair?"


"are you wearin a wig?"


"who's that, the fons?"


The Quiz episode in series 2!!

"I want you to name, the magnificent seven....


......We'll sh*t 'em"



Active Member
love that episode danny, ps, I was still drunk when I woke up on that sunday ;)

or another good bit is any of the dj bits

"I'm walking in the air..."

"me heads bangin"


or "look at me I'm on the bus!"


Active Member
Aye some absolutely fantastic gags in both series.

Bit of respect ladies and gentlemen, for the captain... cue the German national anthem on the bandit :D

Its all a blur Ray, until Chairman Mao kicked my front door in... you must have sh*t yourself... oh thank you very much big mouth

Also the comedy night... ace


I loved the karaoke night episode where the gormless lad with the glasses (whose name I've forgotten) came on as Gary Glitter.
There he was singing 'D'ya wanna be in my gang?' to the audience, the responce was less than enthusiastic!!
Really bad taste, but thats Pheonix Nights for you!


Hawhey - what about the first ep of series 2?

With the immortal phrase "Garlic Bread - it's the future, I've tasted it" and Jim Bowen in a Wig, and Jerry singing "Come and get your black bin bags" in Asda to the Men in Black tune.

(Actually if I'm honest, my fave was the Keith Lard one from Series 1, just for the aeorbics scene :roll: )


Active Member
six pints said:
still, nothing can beat live at bolten albert halls

hobnobs, they're like marines!

Aye that is class, opening line someone shouts out:

"Can you here me now".... Peter Kaye's response is pure gold!

"You can peak too early son...just like your dad" :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:


Active Member
I canny decide. The stange thing is that the more you watch it, the funnier it gets!

Sweet Baby Jesus.......


the one with th horse is good, but the inflatable you know what and the pink play area is class , so it has to be family fun day!!!!


The one with the students is a class one!

Whats your name?


Is that short for Stupid?!


This might come as a little bit of a suprise to you.....but........ arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! Class :D :D


New Member
The Keith Lard has to be the funniest one for me,
"He's drawing a he drawing a dog?"

"His bark's worse than his bite"

:lol: :lol: :lol:

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