Band Buses


New Member
Surely one of the most entertaining part of being a bander is the bus... But how many bands are too tight to get one with a loo for the journey back from a contest??


You mean you don't prefer the tradition of bursting for an hour 'til the driver fears for his seats and then flashing your bits at the passing cars 'cos he's found the busiest place possible to stop!?!
All the best band traditions are disappearing aren't they...toilets on the charabang indeed.


Toilets, toilets!! my my what luxury some bands live in today. Never in 10 years at Wem have we had the luxury of a bus with a toilet... That would take all the fun out of the sing song every few miles on the way back...........

'Stop the bus I need a wee-wee, stop the bus I need a wee-wee.....'

*N.B each time sung, get louder and more raucous until poor bewildered bus driver has no choice but to pull up on the hard shoulder, cleverly masking the pee-ers from passing cars with his coach!*

Roger Thorne

Active Member
Having spent thirty odd years travelling on Band Buses I've got a sneaking suspicion that this thread will encourage all sorts of postings! songs, games, initiations etc. etc.
So I will use the powers of moderation BEFORE you start and ask you all to consider the content of your posts very carefully before commencing - otherwise enjoy.



Active Member
Having just spent a week on one, I can say we were rather boring and tended to sleep on ours....and I never want to see another bus again!

Rach x


Active Member
We once had a bus drivr who stopped but told us "dont pee on the side of the bus. use the verge" being drunk, we all went ahead and peed on the side of the bus. his response? To move the bus down the parking area leaving all exposed to the passing A69 traffic!!!


I met my wife in the band bus toilet!

In fact I think my band has a record that no other could equal - we have got 6 (yes 6) fully grown adults in the band bus toilet and shut the door! Surely this is a record?

(Mind you we haven't worked out how to get them out yet!) :?


tMP Founder
Staff member
Mr Smiler said:
I assume this was without their instruments??!! (so to speak)

Very funny Ian...... lol...... :tup

Oh..... and your avatar is fine.... nothing wrong with that.....:)


New Member
Our best/worst moment was a driver quickly dubbed "Terry the ****" who flatly refused to empty the toilet collection tank on a trip to Italy because it would cost him money. Then again this was the same driver who caused £10k damage to the brand new bus when he claimed badgers had attacked the wheels on the motorway and, very scarily, rammed us into the central barrier. Banding eh, a life threatening hobby.....


Some of the Imps members on here will remember a certain bus driver who got a little lost on the way to a gig... and in the attempt to turn the bus round stuffed the rear end through a brick wall... funny really - there were a large group at the back waiting for the crunch...

So when after the gig we all reappeared on the coach with chinese takeaway and having consumed an amount of alcohol he was not really that impressed...


Active Member
I went on a tour with Peterlee band in germany. The second trombone player drove the bus. He only worked part time as a driver and the farthest he had ever being was the 5 mile school run in Seaham. He managed to hit the ship going on and off the ferry both times. The whole holdiday was a mare and he must have the record for getting the most german driver honks in a week.

Me and my mate had to get mortal just to get the courage to go on the bus - not that i was complaining. :p


Active Member
il resist the urge to sing lude songs!!! .... argh... my tomcat swallowed a...


i have a band bus story from last years whit fridays..
we'd done about 7 villages.. and things were going swimmingly.. so we headed for delph before all the traffic hit there.. and our driver.. in his infinate wisdom, decided he knew a short cut.. he took us down a steep road leading into the centre of delph, only to find that people watching the contest had parked their cars chokka block on each side of the road.. tried to reverse, and of course it was too steep to get the coach back up!!!
we all hopped off the coach and proceeded to bounce the cars off the road and onto the pavement!! setting a few alarms off into the bargin..
all the racket attracted the attention of the police, and four of them were soon strolling towards us.. we were like "oh bugger :( " but we were quite surprised when they asked us if we needed a hand!!! so about half an hour later we arrived in delph, played.. decided to call it a day.. and got wrecked...
and they all lived happily ever after
the end

lalalaa... swallowed a huge great *"&""£% lump of beeeef!!!!


Band Bus

Allsorts used to happen on our band bus - the usual singing of songs, cardgames, slaps, snogging and moonies but since I've become the conductor, I've had to stop the last one!


Active Member
Five of us were in a car and running late when the front passenger decided he could hold on no longer and asked the driver to stop :cry: . Being late the driver refused to stop. After a few minutes of desperate pleading by the front passenger, met with adament refusal to stop by the driver :evil: , the front passenger wound down the front window, unzipped his trousers, stuck the top half his body through the window and proceeded to syphon the python :twisted: . We three in the back were nearly wetting ourselves too, with laughter. :D But our mirth was very short lived. :shock: As you will all know, when somebody opens a front window in a car travelling 70mph , the passengers in the back get blown about a bit. Our blast of fresh air came with a warm fragrant shower. :? As you will also know, when you start it is impossible to stop and there is no where to escape in the back of a small car stuffed with 3 big fellas fond of their pies.
That was perhaps the worst 45 seconds of my life, :( our only compensation being the sight of the culprits trousers when we eventually got out. :oops:

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