101 things to do with.........

[bagpuss]

Party Poppers
Forget about JUST popping them, take off the cardboard top, remove the streamers (don't try this at home kids) and fill with gravy or coleslaw or cream. THEN pop them!!!! Guaranteed to make your Christmas go with a bang....or should that be a splat??!!!! :lol: :lol: :lol:

Baubles off the Christmas tree
One for the ladies this. Are you going out for a Christmas party??? Want to get into the festive spirit??? Haven't got any Christmassy accessories?? Remove a couple of baubles from the Christmas tree and hang them over your ears - HEY PRESTO....INSTANT CHRISTMAS EARRINGS.

Left over turkey
Feed it to the cat. If you don't have a cat, find one and feed turkey to it instead.

Hope these little tips help your Christmas go well.

Bagpuss

 

[Sam Atherton]

Party Poppers
Forget about JUST popping them, take off the cardboard top, remove the streamers (don't try this at home kids) and fill with gravy or coleslaw or cream. THEN pop them!!!! Guaranteed to make your Christmas go with a bang....or should that be a splat??!!!! :lol: :lol: :lol:

Sprouts fit quite well in them too... I knew you weren't meant to eat them!

 

[Maestro]

If you're really bored, you can always empty a can of lighter gas -not petrol - into a pedal bin. You then place a turkey into the bin, and tilt the bin ay an angle of 45 degrees, and gently warm the the bototm of the bin with a bunsen burner, or such like tool. After a few minutes the turkey, despite being dead, stuffed and plucked, will miraculously fly through the air.

Might be worth trying with a cat if you have no turkey. :twisted: :twisted:

 

[Jo Elson]

Party Poppers
Forget about JUST popping them, take off the cardboard top, remove the streamers (don't try this at home kids) and fill with gravy or coleslaw or cream. THEN pop them!!!! Guaranteed to make your Christmas go with a bang....or should that be a splat??!!!! :lol: :lol: :lol:

Just make sure it's not in a confined space. When I was a waitress on New Years Eve, the lads did this and I was covered. It goes absolutely everywhere!!!Although it is highly amusing when someone is expecting colourful bits of paper to pop out.

 

[JessopSmythe]

Party Poppers
Forget about JUST popping them, take off the cardboard top, remove the streamers (don't try this at home kids) and fill with gravy or coleslaw or cream. THEN pop them!!!! Guaranteed to make your Christmas go with a bang....or should that be a splat??!!!!

A more effective one is to spoon peas and gravy into those hand held air horns you get at football matches and the like. Get it right and it'll fire mushy peas right across the room and deafen anyone standing too close to you

 

[Jo Elson]

love to know how you found that one out!?!

 

[bagpuss]

A more effective one is to spoon peas and gravy into those hand held air horns you get at football matches and the like. Get it right and it'll fire mushy peas right across the room and deafen anyone standing too close to you

Ever tried doing the same sort of thing with a cork wedged in there too??? Produces a loud noise, lots of mess and if you're accurate enough can be used against targets!!!!


Puss

 

[bigmamabadger]

... to do with a dead cat in Denver when you're dead? :?

If you wedge a banananana on top of a rocket, then fire it, the banana will disappear. Then when you get up the next morning the next-door neighbours car will miraculously have a big splat of fried banana on its roof....
Thankfully you were not at your own house and crept out at sparrow-cough leaving hosts to face irate neighbour... :twisted:
BMB
xx

 

[smileytalkalot]

I love to fill the party poppers wif cream, its ded funny. The funniest thing was when i woz at a new years eve party and this lad did it to my sister and she woz sooo shocked cos she was expecting coloured streamers to come out, not cream

 

[JessopSmythe]

... to do with a dead cat in Denver when you're dead? :?

If you wedge a banananana on top of a rocket, then fire it, the banana will disappear. Then when you get up the next morning the next-door neighbours car will miraculously have a big splat of fried banana on its roof....
Thankfully you were not at your own house and crept out at sparrow-cough leaving hosts to face irate neighbour... :twisted:
BMB
xx

That's my big sister! All those who comment now and then on my drunken actions just look at the wonderful example I grew up following :wink:

 

[bigmamabadger]

That's my big sister! All those who comment now and then on my drunken actions just look at the wonderful example I grew up following :wink:

Do as I say, not as I do... :twisted:
BMB
xx

 

[JessopSmythe]

Here's a christmas tip I nicked off radio 2

If you're getting plagued by carol singers, here's a fun way to make sure they never call again.

1) Buy a large box of Ferrero Rocher, a bag of sprouts and a large block of chocolate.

2) Cook the sprouts and (in a seperate pan) melt the chocolate. Whilst doing this, eat the Ferrero Rocher, carefully saving the wrappers

3) Once cooked, dip the sprouts into the melted chocolate and leave to cool

4) Carefully wrap your new treats in the Ferrero Rocher wrappers and put them in a neat pyramid on a large plate.

5) Answer the door to carol singers and offer them all a chocolate from the plate.

:twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted:

 

[twigglet]

mwahahaha might just have to try that one on unsuspecting random people, and not just carol singers... :twisted:

 

[bigmamabadger]

Here's a christmas tip I nicked off radio 2

If you're getting plagued by carol singers, here's a fun way to make sure they never call again.

1) Buy a large box of Ferrero Rocher, a bag of sprouts and a large block of chocolate.

2) Cook the sprouts and (in a seperate pan) melt the chocolate. Whilst doing this, eat the Ferrero Rocher, carefully saving the wrappers

3) Once cooked, dip the sprouts into the melted chocolate and leave to cool

4) Carefully wrap your new treats in the Ferrero Rocher wrappers and put them in a neat pyramid on a large plate.

5) Answer the door to carol singers and offer them all a chocolate from the plate.

:twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted:

I am never coming to your house for Xmas.
Not that I've been invited. I mean, all I've done for you over the years, gave you the best years of my life and what do I get in return? Ingratitude, that's what. Rank ingratitude....

I'm sorry, I really must lay off the cooking sherry :roll:
BMB

 

[bagpuss]

I'm sorry, I really must lay off the cooking sherry :roll:

Yes you must lay off the cooking sherry!!!! Feed it to Martin instead. When he is drunk, he becomes mildly incoherent and the source of much amusement. When you get drunk you become arguementative (sp?) and win at all the games we play. Must remember to ration you to lemonade next year!!!!


Puss

 

[JessopSmythe]

When you get drunk you become more arguementative

 

[bigmamabadger]

When you get drunk you become more arguementative

I DO NOT! :evil: HOW DARE YOU! :evil: I AM A MODEL OF PEACE AND TRANQUILLITY! :evil:
RIGHT, THAT'S IT, OUTSIDE THE LOT OF YEZ! :evil:

And I win cos I play by the rules you bunch of cheating pikers. :twisted:
Have a lovely Chrimble, I'm off to play in the snow with my car.
BMB
xxx