Parents who both play in band(s) - how do you do it?

[brassking]

Has anyone ever noticed that bands with families in there seems to be problems, for example more falling outs, obviously not every band is like this alot of my family used to play in the same brass band.
But I have come into contact with one brass band and the majority of the people in that family are not very nice people and put people off joining that band!
Anyone else had these problems??

[Euphjam]

My wife and I have both played for the same band now for around 20 years.( we got together through the band ). We have 2 boys aged 9 and 6,and have somehow managed to continue playing almost uninterrupted for all tof this time. We have both sets of very understanding grandparents to thank for this and have never taken it for granted. We've hardly ever missed any engagements,and have been fortunate to compete at the nationals on a couple of occasions for a whole weekend with the kids always in good hands. i realise that we've been extremely lucky,and that not everyone is so fortunate. We've just found out that there's going to be a new addition to the family so hope the good will can stretch to 3.

[jockinafrock]

Originally Posted by Baritonedeaf

Cough cough!

Oops! Humblest apologies...! Thought Oli was perhaps short for Olive, but I should have read your post more closely anyway!
Am I forgiven?

[scotchgirl]

We agreed that when we had our first child that my husband would give up band. Its incredibly difficult to arrange your life around brass bands, and sometimes a sacrifice has to be made. It wasn't universally received well (by some members of our band, and some family members who thought that it should be the woman who gives up everything when starting a family)...but it was our decision.

We now have two children, and my husband has recently started playing again, for a different band, who rehearse on (mostly) different days from my band. There are obviously still issues when it comes to clashes of concerts and contests, but we work around these to the best of our ability (using babysitters, or bringing the kids along).

[cornetgirl]

We had this discussion a while back - and then I rendered it useless by retiring from banding!!

My theory is that we probably will only have one child (getting old y'see!) , and I wouldn't want to miss it grow up because "Mummy and Daddy are at band again" so I would have stopped banding once I knew the pregnancy was well established. Now, I can say in total confidence that I will not be banding if baby Beaker ever decides to join us! As for Beaker - I will not put any pressure on him either way. If he wants to keep banding I will understand, if he wants to stay home and change nappies instead then he can!

Rach x

[2nd man down]

We've been extremely fortunate to have an unbelievably tolerant, flexible, willing and able collection of friends and family who always seem to (between them) be able to have our kids to look after when we've needed them, sometimes at the drop of a hat when plans have changed for other sitters.

I salute them all from the bottom of my heart, without them...well...I dread to think.

[cornetgirl]

I remember having a good set of babysitters when I was a nipper and both parents were banding. Mind you, I had to work for it - 3 years old, trotting round the Valley Gardens with a collecting tin looking cute - I hope you remember that Harrogate Band!!!

[Baritonedeaf]

Originally Posted by jockinafrock

Oops! Humblest apologies...! Thought Oli was perhaps short for Olive, but I should have read your post more closely anyway!
Am I forgiven?

In a second.

[sugarandspice]

Originally Posted by 2nd man down

We've been extremely fortunate to have an unbelievably tolerant, flexible, willing and able collection of friends and family who always seem to (between them) be able to have our kids to look after when we've needed them, sometimes at the drop of a hat when plans have changed for other sitters.

I salute them all from the bottom of my heart, without them...well...I dread to think.

You forgot to mention the most important part of that paragraph.......you have 5 children! Managing all of them and still being 100% committed to band is pretty amazing