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Thread: Law of God (on Homosexuality)

  1. #1
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    Law of God (on Homosexuality)

    I found this amuzing so i share it. Hope it brings a smile to some one.

    Dr Laura
    Dr Laura Schlessinger is a US radio personality who dispenses advice to people who call in to her radio show. Recently, she said that homosexuality is an abomination according to Leviticus 18:22, and cannot be condoned under any circumstance. The following is an open letter to Dr. Laura penned by a US resident, which was posted on the Internet

    Dear Dr. Laura,

    Thank you for doing so much to educate people regarding God's Law. I have learned a great deal from your show, and try to share that knowledge with as many people as I can. When someone tries to defend the homosexual lifestyle, for example, I simply remind them that (Leviticus 18:22) clearly states it to be an abomination.

    End of debate. I do need some advice from you, however, regarding some of the other specific laws and how to follow them.

    1. When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it creates a pleasing odor for the Lord (Lev.1:9). The problem is my neighbours. They claim the odor is not pleasing to them. Should I smite them?

    2. I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as sanctioned in (Exodus 21:7). In this day and age, what do you think would be a fair price for her?

    3. I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she is in her period of menstrual uncleanliness (Lev.15:19-24). The problem is, how do tell? I have tried asking, but most women take offense.

    4. (Lev. 25:44) states that I may indeed possess slaves, both male and female, provided they are purchased from neighboring nations. A friend of mine claims that this applies to Mexicans, but not Canadians.Can you clarify? Why can't I own Canadians?

    5. I have a neighbor who insists on working on the Sabbath. (Exodus 35:2) clearly states he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to kill him myself?

    6. A friend of mine feels that even though eating shellfish is an abomination (Lev. 11:10), it is a lesser abomination than homosexuality. I don't agree. Can you settle this?

    7. (Lev. 21:20) states that I may not approach the altar of God if I have a defect in my sight. I have to admit that I wear reading glasses. Does my vision have to be 20/20, or is there some wiggle room here?

    8. Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed, including the hair around their temples, even though this is expressly forbidden by (Lev.19:27). How should they die?

    9. I know from (Lev.11:6- that touching the skin of a dead pig makes me unclean, but may I still play football if I wear gloves?

    10. My uncle has a farm. He violates (Lev. 19:19) by planting two different crops in the same field, as does his wife by wearing garments made of two different kinds of thread (cotton/polyester blend). He also tends to curse and blaspheme a lot. Is it really necessary that we go to all the trouble of getting the whole town together to stone them? (Lev.24:10-16) Couldn't we just burn them to death at a private family affair like we do with people who sleep with their in-laws? (Lev. 20:14)

    I know you have studied these things extensively, so I am confident you can help. Thank you again for reminding us that God's word is eternal and unchanging.

    Your devoted fan, Jim
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  2. #2
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    Hatt, Cornwall
    wonder what the reply was!
    Steve Maguire, cornet

  3. #3
    tMP Prime Friend akwarose's Avatar
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    hehe how fantastic!!!!!
    Sam White

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  4. #4
    tMP Master Friend Rambo Chick's Avatar
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    haha nice one!!
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  5. #5
    tMP Prime Friend satchmo shaz's Avatar
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    that is soooo funny, I'm going to"pinch" it and show me mates!
    satchmo shaz
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  6. #6
    tMP Posting Freak!!! lynchie's Avatar
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    I used to have a long list of suitable smitings for different offences... my favourite was washing their underwear in chili sauce, although I can't remember what that was for...

    You know when you've been smited!

    (or is that smote?)

  7. #7
    tMP Master Friend Dave Euph's Avatar
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    Very good!
    David Smith
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  8. #8
    tMP Master Friend Jo Elson's Avatar
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    Am truly inpressed by the oodles of sarcasm contained in that!
    Of all the things I ever lost, I miss my mind the most.

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  9. #9
    tMP Master Friend Curiosity_Kills's Avatar
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    It's great when the Bible contradicts itself as well

    Among Lev18 there is much talk about not 'lying ' with your relatives and in Exodus somewhere Lot's daughters 'lay ' with him in order to get pregnant!
    Tarka [a.k.a. Rob]
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  10. #10
    Super Moderator Keppler's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by lynchie
    You know when you've been smited!

    (or is that smote?)
    "smitten" actually - lovely passive voice

    but you're right the, active past tense would be "smote" (great word)
    Bocito ergo sum...

  11. #11
    tMP Prime Friend rutty's Avatar
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    Excellent stuff

    I've been told that this has been derived from an episode of series three of the West Wing. I really should watch that - supposed to be very good.
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  12. #12
    tMP Senior Friend Bluebottle's Avatar
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    v gd!

    and so's west wing - new series starts soon!
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  13. #13
    tMP Senior Friend davidsait's Avatar
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    The letter was apparently originally written by a guy called Kent Ashcraft, and then used for a scene in the second season of The West Wing (which is excellent by the way).

    A page with the original letter and the link to the West Wing is here.

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