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Thread: Harsh.......but fair!

  1. #1
    dyl's Avatar
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    Harsh.......but fair!

    A married millionaire couple is driving along a country road doing a
    steady forty miles per hour. The husband is behind the wheel. His wife
    suddenly looks across at him and speaks in a clear voice. Darling," she
    says. "I know we've been married for twenty years, but I want a divorce."

    The husband says nothing, keeps looking at the road ahead but slowly
    increases his speed to 45 mph. The wife speaks again. "I don't want you
    to try and talk me out of it," she says, "because I've been having an
    affair with your best friend, and he's a far better lover than you are."

    Again the husband stays quiet, but grips the steering wheel more tightly
    and slowly increases the speed to 55.

    She pushes her luck. "I want the house," she says insistently. Up to 60.
    "I want the cars, too," she continues. 65 mph. "And," she says, "I'll have
    the bank accounts, all the credit cards and the boat."

    The car slowly starts veering towards a massive concrete bridge. This
    makes her a wee bit nervous, so she asks him: "Isn't there anything
    you want?"

    The husband at last replies - in a quiet and controlled voice, "No, I've
    got everything I need." he says.

    "Oh, really?" she enquires, "So what have you got?"

    Just before they slam into the wall at 70ph, the husband turns to her
    and says.......









    "The Airbag"

  2. #2

  3. #3
    tMP Prime Friend Andy_Euph's Avatar
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    LOL

    Here's one for you:

    A couple decide that they want to go and visit the Holy Land and so start making preperations, unfortunately the mother in law hears about and wants to go too.
    So 2 days into there holiday the mother in law drops down dead and the couple go to the British Consulate to sort things out. The consul tells them the have two choices

    a) pay £5000 and the body can be flow back to England to be buried
    or
    b) pay £500 and the mother in law can be buried in the Holy Land

    so the guy thinks and then finally says "ok we'll take the £5000 option", his wife turns to him questioning his decision as £5000 is a lot of money but he simply turns around and says "look 2000 years ago they buried a guy here and he rose from the grave after three days and there is no way i'm taking that chance!"

    Sorry if the joke is a bit dodgy but i liked it
    Andy Griffiths

    Solo Euph - Jayess Newbiggin Band

  4. #4
    bluenose till i die super_sop's Avatar
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    lol both great

  5. #5

    Big Twigge's Avatar
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    teeheehee very funny!

  6. #6
    Banned
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    lol! Good one dyl...

    As for the Holy Land joke... I posted it already a while back...
    good init


  7. #7
    tMP Senior Friend blondie's Avatar
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    Tres Amusent Dyl.
    Blondie
    Bass Trombone
    Wem Jubilee Band

    How the Dancing Octopuss sang!

  8. #8
    tMP Master Friend
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    Molto bene Dyl, bravissimo!!

    (see blondie we can all be 'continental')

  9. #9
    Super Moderator PeterBale's Avatar
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    Und auch zehr gut, Herr Dyl
    Peter Bale
    BBb bass, Hadleigh Temple Band
    Alto sax, Salvation Army Symphonic Wind Ensemble
    tMP band, Whit Friday 2004; tMP band, Hadleigh, April 2005

  10. #10
    Super Moderator Keppler's Avatar
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    An a mhaith, ar fad, a Dhyl..

    (just to get into the spirit of things)
    Bocito ergo sum...

  11. #11
    dyl's Avatar
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    Diolch yn fawr, bawb!

  12. #12
    Super Moderator PeterBale's Avatar
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    Avez vous un cuppa? Le premier the anglais!
    Peter Bale
    BBb bass, Hadleigh Temple Band
    Alto sax, Salvation Army Symphonic Wind Ensemble
    tMP band, Whit Friday 2004; tMP band, Hadleigh, April 2005

  13. #13
    tMP Prime Friend Seedhouse's Avatar
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    In English plz???
    Alex Seedhouse; Euphonium
    Royal Northern College of Music

  14. #14
    dyl's Avatar
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    Pam?

  15. #15
    tMP Senior Friend stopher's Avatar
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    In cofi welsh

    Da iawn ****!
    Chris Williams

    Conductor - Menai Bridge Band

    The Future's bright, the future's Ginger!

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