PDA

View Full Version : Law of God (on Homosexuality)



peasantband
18.06.2004, 14:05
I found this amuzing so i share it. Hope it brings a smile to some one. :lol:


Dr Laura
Dr Laura Schlessinger is a US radio personality who dispenses advice to people who call in to her radio show. Recently, she said that homosexuality is an abomination according to Leviticus 18:22, and cannot be condoned under any circumstance. The following is an open letter to Dr. Laura penned by a US resident, which was posted on the Internet

Dear Dr. Laura,

Thank you for doing so much to educate people regarding God's Law. I have learned a great deal from your show, and try to share that knowledge with as many people as I can. When someone tries to defend the homosexual lifestyle, for example, I simply remind them that (Leviticus 18:22) clearly states it to be an abomination.

End of debate. I do need some advice from you, however, regarding some of the other specific laws and how to follow them.

1. When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it creates a pleasing odor for the Lord (Lev.1:9). The problem is my neighbours. They claim the odor is not pleasing to them. Should I smite them?

2. I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as sanctioned in (Exodus 21:7). In this day and age, what do you think would be a fair price for her?

3. I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she is in her period of menstrual uncleanliness (Lev.15:19-24). The problem is, how do tell? I have tried asking, but most women take offense.

4. (Lev. 25:44) states that I may indeed possess slaves, both male and female, provided they are purchased from neighboring nations. A friend of mine claims that this applies to Mexicans, but not Canadians.Can you clarify? Why can't I own Canadians?

5. I have a neighbor who insists on working on the Sabbath. (Exodus 35:2) clearly states he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to kill him myself?

6. A friend of mine feels that even though eating shellfish is an abomination (Lev. 11:10), it is a lesser abomination than homosexuality. I don't agree. Can you settle this?

7. (Lev. 21:20) states that I may not approach the altar of God if I have a defect in my sight. I have to admit that I wear reading glasses. Does my vision have to be 20/20, or is there some wiggle room here?

8. Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed, including the hair around their temples, even though this is expressly forbidden by (Lev.19:27). How should they die?

9. I know from (Lev.11:6-8) that touching the skin of a dead pig makes me unclean, but may I still play football if I wear gloves?

10. My uncle has a farm. He violates (Lev. 19:19) by planting two different crops in the same field, as does his wife by wearing garments made of two different kinds of thread (cotton/polyester blend). He also tends to curse and blaspheme a lot. Is it really necessary that we go to all the trouble of getting the whole town together to stone them? (Lev.24:10-16) Couldn't we just burn them to death at a private family affair like we do with people who sleep with their in-laws? (Lev. 20:14)

I know you have studied these things extensively, so I am confident you can help. Thank you again for reminding us that God's word is eternal and unchanging.

Your devoted fan, Jim

Majoresteve
18.06.2004, 15:44
wonder what the reply was!

akwarose
18.06.2004, 17:42
hehe how fantastic!!!!!

Rambo Chick
19.06.2004, 14:20
haha nice one!!

satchmo shaz
19.06.2004, 17:32
that is soooo funny, I'm going to"pinch" it and show me mates! :lol:

lynchie
19.06.2004, 18:06
I used to have a long list of suitable smitings for different offences... my favourite was washing their underwear in chili sauce, although I can't remember what that was for...

You know when you've been smited!

(or is that smote?)

Dave Euph
19.06.2004, 18:13
Very good!

Jo Elson
19.06.2004, 18:19
Am truly inpressed by the oodles of sarcasm contained in that!

Curiosity_Kills
19.06.2004, 18:48
It's great when the Bible contradicts itself as well

Among Lev18 there is much talk about not 'lying :wink: ' with your relatives and in Exodus somewhere Lot's daughters 'lay :wink: ' with him in order to get pregnant!

Keppler
20.06.2004, 00:17
You know when you've been smited!

(or is that smote?)

"smitten" actually - lovely passive voice

but you're right the, active past tense would be "smote" (great word)

rutty
22.06.2004, 10:43
Excellent stuff :)

I've been told that this has been derived from an episode of series three of the West Wing. I really should watch that - supposed to be very good.

Bluebottle
22.06.2004, 12:46
v gd! :)

and so's west wing - new series starts soon! 8)

davidsait
22.06.2004, 14:34
The letter was apparently originally written by a guy called Kent Ashcraft, and then used for a scene in the second season of The West Wing (which is excellent by the way).

A page with the original letter and the link to the West Wing is here (http://westwing.bewarne.com/second/25letter.html).