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frisp
18.03.2003, 23:18
The very bad rhymes people write
Might give normal people a fright
There's no need to fret
It's the best we can get
But at least all will sleep well at night. :P

I seem to have developed an urge to limerick on this forum which I never had before. All of you who are sick of my limericks can now know there's a place for them.

I won't put another limerick anywhere else on these fora (or is it forums, I dunno).

frisp

HBB
18.03.2003, 23:29
I like the way you've used the plural form,
but for our lost space, i'm going to mourn,
I was on every hour,
like watering a flower,
but I guess that a name home has been born !


;) Ben ;)

Where do I pitch the tent - this'll be my home :D

frisp
18.03.2003, 23:38
Benny you must learn to count
Extra syllables you must discount
It's not easy to hear
You must listen I fear
Nine to the second's the amount.

Tired now!!!!!

frisp
19.03.2003, 21:44
Just to keep it going for us limerickers:-

It's Wednesday today so it is,
Some people just throw up a tizz,
It's healthy, not sick,
To enjoy limerick,
Enjoy it, try laughs, it's the bizz!!!!

aaah, sad, compulsive urges :P

Mrs Fruity
19.03.2003, 21:50
Tonight is a night off the band,
Got fed up with nothing to hand,
So then I thought I
'd give the Mouthpiece a try
The finest forUM in the land


(BOOM- BOOM!!!)

frisp
19.03.2003, 22:31
Heh!

A night off of band for me too
AGM soon to come but no ve-to
Democracy's sound
but for only a pound
You can buy a big load of pote-to

Mrs Fruity
21.03.2003, 16:58
Frisp, where art thou?
With thy witty retort and comment,
See I have lost the art of the limerick
I am that worried about thee!

flashbarry
21.03.2003, 17:56
There was a trombonist from Rhyl,
who's Acrobat made people ill,
and try as he might,
he could not get it right,
I believe that he's practising still.

frisp
25.03.2003, 19:43
Fruity, I've not been quite well
Put it right frisp, you've just felt like hell
I stayed off a short time
Now I've tried for the rhyme
I'm now waiting to learn to excel....

:shock:

frisp
25.03.2003, 19:47
There was a trombonist called Steve
His sound you just would not believe
He plays for Manx Brass
and his sound is first class
...and he has some good tricks up his sleeve!!!

('lo Spikey) :roll:

frisp
25.03.2003, 19:52
A young man called Satan from Hell
Dreamed an art form to make young folks yell
He said 'Limerick'
In your stomachs they'll stick
While that great sound comes straight from your bell!

The Judge
25.03.2003, 20:36
There was a young man from Australia
Who painted his a*se like a dahlia
The colour was fine
Likewise the design
The aroma, alas, was a failure

frisp
25.03.2003, 20:41
There was a young man from Australia
Who painted his a*se like a dahlia
The colour was fine
Likewise the design
The aroma, alas, was a failure

The 'young man from Nantucket' beckons but I just can't....

These should be original rubbish, m'lud 8)

frisp
25.03.2003, 22:48
'The Judge' is a man of belief
His sweet sound'd jangle your teeth
If he'd play in tune
We'd all shoot the moon
And resting would be a relief

frisp
26.03.2003, 19:58
There was a young man from Nantucket
Who lived his whole life in a bucket
He stuck his head out
and gave quite a shout
"If this is real life then just leave me alone........ :P :P :P

Mrs Fruity
26.03.2003, 21:42
Frisplet - desist and refrain
Your rude health, it drives me insane
Instead of a worry
It makes me just hurry
To go flush my head down the drain

geordiecolin
28.03.2003, 01:28
Try reading this thread while listening to some hiphop. it makes me read all your limericks as if you're freestyling!!

I was reading the thread late at night,
The hiphop it gave me a fright
your random rumblings
became freestylin tumblings
and reading them became a delight

Sorry, last line is dire but you try rhyming night and fright without being rude or irrelevent!!

frisp
31.03.2003, 23:57
Frisplet - desist and refrain
Your rude health, it drives me insane
Instead of a worry
It makes me just hurry
To go flush my head down the drain

Frisplet's a fully-fledged frisp
but built like the side of a crisp
Don't worry-just smile
Might take quite a while
'cos he plays B flat Bass with a lisp

I'd like to desist and refrain
But the limerick's stuck in my brain
It drives my wife mad
She thinks I'm quite sad
I'm wond'ring, am I quite insane?

(What's freestyling, GeordieCol?)

geordiecolin
01.04.2003, 00:39
I believe that freestyling is the generic term for totally spontaneous rapping.

MCs do it to music without prior preparation, they just make it up as they go along. its actually very hard. i cant do it.

I bet i sound like some major rap hip hop gangsta type.
i rarely even listen to that genre, but i felt like a change the other night

PeterBale
01.04.2003, 09:47
Today it is April the First,
The humour will be at its worst -
I must take a flight
To that old German night,
And get me a big currywurst.

I'm sure there will be lots of jokes
From all of the lassies and blokes,
Perhaps ten or twenty,
There's bound to be plenty,
But no more from me - that's all, folks.

MattB
01.04.2003, 09:52
What about 'There was a young nurse from Heaver..................' but I can't remember the rest!

Mrs Fruity
01.04.2003, 11:43
Dear frisp, your madness is clear
To play Bb bass holds no cheer
Bassists a-flurry
To eat hottest curry
Drinking oodles and oodles of beer!

The basses cry out "This is dross"
To all music they happen across
"Should have chosen the horn
From the day I was born,
Like my wonderful wife, who's the boss!"


Dedicated to my husband, bass player, curry-eater, and whose limericks I couldn't print!!

frisp
01.04.2003, 15:44
A woman whose husband played Bass
Realised that his bass wasn't ace
He loved to play
But she'd always say
'Get that big thing off your face'

I know it's April the first
Date-wise it's not quite the worst
Tricksters with pokers
and all kinds of jokers
get to quench all of their mental thirst

Horn players all have their place
You can see from the smiles on their face
As they sit there they know
While having a go
Nirvana comes shaped like a bass

I can see now that I am insane
Lim'ricks have done in my brain
I'd quite like to stop
and move on to hip-hop
but my fate is madness, it's plain :?

frisp
02.04.2003, 22:17
My daily rhyme is stuck here
'tho some people think I'm quite queer
No, not in that sense
But it's all just nonsense
If it mattered you'd all shout, I fear :bounce

The Judge
03.04.2003, 20:44
Frisp, I'm quite worried 'bout you
and the strange little rhymes that you do;
I do wish you'd learn
to combat the yearn
to write such a great deal of p**

frisp
08.04.2003, 22:32
Frisp, I'm quite worried 'bout you
and the strange little rhymes that you do;
I do wish you'd learn
to combat the yearn
to write such a great deal of p**

Heh :D

I hear you m'lud I'll desist
Tho' I've not reached the end of my list
I'll try hard to stop..
..and give 'em the chop
It's unlikely my rhymes will be missed!

The Judge
09.04.2003, 22:10
You keep saying, Frisp, you'll desist
from adding more rhymes to your list
Please take my advice
or you'll pay the price
for going online when you're pi**ed :guiness

frisp
09.04.2003, 22:22
You keep saying, Frisp, you'll desist
from adding more rhymes to your list
Please take my advice
or you'll pay the price
for going online when you're pi**ed :guiness

I'm sitting here really quite sober
It's not even the start of October
I'm trying to cease
But you give me no peace
I'm still just a gobby come-over!!!

JessopSmythe
23.11.2003, 22:14
As promised on another limerick thread that I can't seem to find now, there is now a dedicated limericks page on the Very Silly Society website. Note for those easily offended, this page was set up as a home for the limericks deemed unsuitable for this forum. You've been warned! I don't want any emails complaining about the content.

The Very Silly Society (http://www.jessop-smythe.co.uk)[/url]