Not another banders story!

[Vickitorious]

I know we used to have a banders story, but the flow has got lost, so has the plot and it's long gone.

Soo...

Lets start off another one :biggrin:

Basically, you carry on the story adding a few words or a sentence from whatever the person before wrote :)

Would someone like to start us off? I don't have a very good imagination...:tongue:

GO FOR IT!! :biggrin:

[Flutey]

Oooooh, we made the funniest one of these last year! Can't tell you what about though, not very FFF!!!

Once upon a time (how cheesy!?) a brass band were very excited. They were off for a weekend at Pontins, for drinking and erm.... music! When they arrived there they met the sight of...

[Vickitorious]

their chalets to be, which were..

[Flutey]

an interesting shade of...

[Vickitorious]

Lime green and magenta with..

[Flutey]

orange stripes

[Vickitorious]

Which they found rather amusing when..

[Flutey]

drunk, which happened within the first

[Vickitorious]

hour after...

[Flutey]

arriving. When they arrived they

[Vickitorious]

started to unpack but were soon distracted when..

[Flutey]

a chicken jumped off the

[Vickitorious]

top shelf and into

[Flutey]

the pink polka dotted

[Vickitorious]

Bed, which

[Flutey]

clashed horribly with the

gotta go now :cry: see ya tomorrow xxx

[Vickitorious]

floor which was

[Flutey]

a mouldy green colour

[Pops2501]

possibly because of the

[Sopha]

Filth, It Had

[Pops2501]

acquired after the accidental

[Sopha]

Nockage Of The Mestirious

[honey bun]

which in english means

[Pops2501]

trouble for everyone concerned.

[honey bun]

After clearing up, we

[Flutey]

ran down to the

[Sopha]

Road And Fell

[Flutey]

into the jaws of a

[DaveR]

pirhana fish who

[honey bun]

was very hungry so he

[Sopha]

Gobbled Us Up Then

[Flutey]

had a lolly before eating

[Sopha]

The Rest Of The

[Flutey]

brass banders who were in the pub

[Sopha]

Drinking and

[bigmamabadger]

Was going to join in with this but somehow that seems to be a good place to finish the story. Unless....
When they all awoke with horrendous hangovers, the giant piranha turned out to have been a collective hallucination caused by

[Flutey]

haha, good one BMB...

the fact that the barman had

[bigmamabadger]

cleaned out his pipes with

[Flutey]

an interesting mix of

[Bryan_sop]

out-of-date cleaning substances and

[Pops2501]

petrol - which in hindsight was not a good idea as

[Flutey]

there were many smokers in the room, which led to

[super_sop]

a huge explosion as somebody had decided to play lets light the

[Di]

candles on

[super_sop]

the bare bottom of

[Di]

the cheeky

[super_sop]

little princess who

[Bryan_sop]

Passed out because

[super_sop]

he was on parade at the time. all this caused a major incident in the armed....

[Flutey]

policeman who hit the culprit on the

[bigmamabadger]

back of the knee, giving him a dead leg. He fell into the

[Flutey]

pond with an almighty

[bigmamabadger]

quacking as the ducks fled to

[Flutey]

the bread which was thrown into the pond by

[Sopha]

The little old lady from

[Bryan_sop]

Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysilio gogogoch, who

[Pops2501]

fainted at the sight of

[Sopha]

the blood which

[gawber]

spurted from out of

[Sopha]

the man that fell in the river. the smoke

[honey bun]

from his cigarette went out so he

[Sopha]

light it back up and

[honey bun]

swam to the shore and tried to

[bigmamabadger]

give CPR to one of the ducks. Unfortunately

[honey bun]

the poor little ducky

[Flutey]

bit his nose

[honey bun]

and it fell off in the river so they

[Flutey]

jumped into a boat

[Sopha]

and the boat

[Flutey]

went over a waterfall

[Sopha]

so they all fell out and

[Pops2501]

dragged themselves to the bank where they were surrounded by

[Flutey]

alligators which were

[Sopha]

very hungry and

[bigmamabadger]

ate them with fava beans and a nice chianti. After their enrormous repast, the alligators

[gawber]

had a well deserved snooze. Meanwhile

[super_sop]

in sunny Prestatyn, the holiday camp was gearing up to

[Flutey]

serve excessively huge quantities of beer

[super_sop]

to honorary members of.......

[Bryan_sop]

The east grinstead knitting society, who were supporting

[Sopha]

Children in nead but

[gawber]

then the tMP band arrived and

[Sopha]

were to loud so

[Pops2501]

Terry Wogan had to

[DaveR]

sing the Floral Dance

[bigmamabadger]

while stripping off his shirt to reveal a tanned, toned and totally buff torso. This led the ladies of the tmp band to

[DaveR]

swoon, while simultaneously

[Sopha]

Staring and

[DaveR]

laughing

[Sopha]

loadly

[Flutey]

at the brightly coloured

[Pops2501]

Underwear - which he hastily covered up. Then

[gawber]

the fashion police came by and

[Flutey]

arrested a dog because

[Sopha]

it was eating

[Fletch01]

Pomegranites and

[gawber]

spitting out the pips!
Finally the tMP band assembled themselves and

[bigmamabadger]

raised their instruments to play, only to discover a mass forgetfulness of mouthpieces had occurred. In a flash of inspiration Roger suggested

[gawber]

they nip to the shop and buy some kazoos. Unfortunately

[Flutey]

the colours clashed with their uniforms, so the tmp band had to

[bigmamabadger]

strip down to their boring underwear. All except for Super-Sop who was wearing

[DaveR]

his usual colourful dress

[gawber]

complete with matching handbag and stilettos. A member of the audience

[Flutey]

asked if she could

[Bryan_sop]

take a picture but

[Flutey]

tMP copyright didn't want the image used elsewhere

[Sopha]

So members of the audience were so unhappy and

[Flutey]

threw rotten eggs at

[DaveR]

the flute player

[Flutey]

who got very angry at DaveR :tongue:

[Sopha]

because he

[Flutey]

sat on her

[Sopha]

and then

[Flutey]

she was squashed :tongue: (sorry dave!)

[Sopha]

and was very unhappy so she chucked him

[Flutey]

in the swiming pool

[DaveR]

but he (I?) can't swim so

[Flutey]

she threw him some armbands (yes, Dave, this is about you! you bring me into this story, I'm getting revenge!!!!)

[Sopha]

but he couldnt get them on.. oh no!!

[Flutey]

his hairy arms slashed the weak plastic

[Sopha]

and he nearly drowed but to the rescue

[Flutey]

came a big dog belonging to

[Sopha]

a lady up the street

[Flutey]

who was wearing

[Sopha]

the worst clothes in the world!

[honey bun]

Which is quite strange considering she is

[Flutey]

the queen

[honey bun]

of the fashion

[Flutey]

able chavs

[honey bun]

In the town centre they

[Flutey]

were drinking cider

[honey bun]

and generally making a nuisance of themselves when

[Flutey]

suddenly along came the brass banders

[Sopha]

and the chavs were

[honey bun]

scared cos

[Stan Van Der Lager]

They had their instruments out...

[honey bun]

..especially the sop who was ready to.. ;)

[Stan Van Der Lager]

pinch all their cider, as alcohol is bandspersons...

[honey bun]

means to carry on with

[Stan Van Der Lager]

Banding. "Lets get the cider" one bandsperson shouts...

[honey bun]

and the terrified chavs..

[Stan Van Der Lager]

Put up their hoods, pollished their sovs, then handed over the cider and...

[Sopha]

ran as they knew

[Flutey]

how to run from the police

[Sopha]

but when they got to a dead end they....

[Flutey]

disguised themselves as

[DaveR]

elephants

[Sopha]

as that was the only

[honey bun]

thing they could

[Sopha]

Quick enough but as soon as

[Bryan_sop]

the brass banders

[Sopha]

found out they

[Flutey]

were going to go to

[Sopha]

and they had to think fast or

[chizzum]

be in trouble of

[Flutey]

the chavs catching them

[chizzum]

and the bangin' ''em

[Sopha]

against the horrible