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Dave Payn
22.10.2003, 16:44
NAME OF OFFENDER:
INFRACTION DATE: __________________________
__________________________

MUSICAL OFFENCE AND FINE
Playing highest note possible in warm- up 100
Sound-checking mic with obnoxious jazz licks 15
Raising hand after mistake 15
Practicing multiple tonguing not called for on gig 15
Blacking out after high note 20
Obnoxiously show-offy warm-up 25
Taking tuning note up an octave 25
Vibrato on unison passage 50
Failure to use 3rd valve slide 50
Playing B-flat when band tunes to A 75
Being told by conductor to play louder 400
Failure to swing 1000

LEAD PLAYERS
Changing mouthpieces mid-song 10
Faking section into early entrance 20
Faking self into early entrances 25
Missing high lick, then mentioning previous gig(s) 25
Asking conductor if it's ok to take a lick up 25
Asking conductor if it's ok to take a lick down 400
Taking a lick down that you took up in rehearsal 100
Missing last note of "In the Mood" 200

SECTION/NON-LEAD PLAYERS
Missing entrance when lead drops out 15
Pointing out to the lead that guy on the record took that last lick up 20
Attempting unassigned lick biffed by lead 50
Asking lead what mouthpiece he uses 75
Hanging over past lead on last chord 100
Attempting to out-screech lead on last chord 100
Successfully out-screeching lead at any time 500


EQUIPMENT VIOLATIONS
Playing with screw on rim 10
Polishing horn on stage 15
Dropping mute 10
Dropping horn Repairs + 20
Dropping dead Warning
Forgetting pencil 20
Forgetting mute(s) 50 each
Forgetting bowtie or socks 30
Forgetting mouthpiece 30
Forgetting magazine 100
Blaming mistake on sticky valves 25
Getting marble or similar object stuck down bell 75

CRIMINAL BAD TASTE
Having nicest gig-bag in section 10
Talking about the great deal you got on a new horn 10
Hawking old horn on bandstand 10
Quoting Herb Alpert or Mangione Song 25
Farting on bandstand 25
Defecating on bandstand 75
Practicing legit style on swing gig 35
Discussing how plentiful gigs were in the old days 50
Beginning a sentence with "When I played for Kenton..." 50
Casually mentioning to Musical Director of cheap theatre that you also play keyboards 100

BASIC STUPIDITY
Playing on a Jet-tone mouthpiece 25
Continually asking "where are we? 25
Drunkenness on stage 50
Stoned on stage 50
Pretending to be friends with a trombone player 200
Actually being friends with a trombone player 750
Dating a trombone player 3000
Loaning money to bone player 4x amount loaned
Sitting next to conductor at meals 100

lynchie
22.10.2003, 16:49
Actually being friends with a trombone player 750
Dating a trombone player 3000
Loaning money to bone player 4x amount loaned


Seems slightly harsh... but probably fair. Guess I'll have to get my dates elsewhere...!

I do know a few people that would be seriously out of pocket from that lot!

Dave Payn
22.10.2003, 16:54
All in jest! (My first girlfriend was a trombonist! That's me financially crippled then!) :lol:

Dave Payn
22.10.2003, 16:56
ps. Of that first batch of offences, I've been guiltyof every one! :oops:

BRASSBANDGIRL
22.10.2003, 20:50
I glad my band don't use those or we would all be broke :lol:

leisa
22.10.2003, 21:02
NAME OF OFFENDER:
INFRACTION DATE: __________________________
__________________________
Drunkenness on stage 50
Stoned on stage 50
Pretending to be friends with a trombone player 200
Actually being friends with a trombone player 750
Dating a trombone player 3000
Loaning money to bone player 4x amount loaned
Sitting next to conductor at meals 100

u lot really dont like troms do ya?
im dead really, i got quite a few trom friends is this 750 per friend????
:oops:
:?

andywooler
23.10.2003, 23:45
[u lot really dont like troms do ya?
im dead really, i got quite a few trom friends is this 750 per friend????
:oops:
:?

Trombone players - aren't they those people that hang around with musicians?

leisa
24.10.2003, 08:32
[u lot really dont like troms do ya?
im dead really, i got quite a few trom friends is this 750 per friend????
:oops:
:?

Trombone players - aren't they those people that hang around with musicians?

:P

question: what if you are a trombone player??? (im not, no abuse pleease)

Naomi McFadyen
24.10.2003, 09:18
Trombone players - aren't they those people that hang around with musicians?

No, they're called drummers :-P


As with the thread- very very good- I managed to put a few names by the side of some of the offences...
I wanna be a musician crime police officer now! lol.... i could make a lot of money from it! :lol:

Hell's_Trombone
12.07.2004, 17:44
[u lot really dont like troms do ya?
im dead really, i got quite a few trom friends is this 750 per friend????
:oops:
:?

Trombone players - aren't they those people that hang around with musicians?

I'm a little upset now! :cry: :cry:

Liz Courts
13.07.2004, 16:01
:lol: :lol: :lol: I can't say I'm guilty of too many of those!!

Well, maybe just a few of those associated to SECTION/NON-LEAD PLAYERS :oops: