A-Z of How to annoy ur conductor

[Ickle.Hannah]

Lets Start With Letter A :D

[Flutey]

Ask stupid questions

[Dave 2nd2nd Cornet]

Be late for rehearsals

[Flutey]

Come to rehearsals unprepared

[Dave 2nd2nd Cornet]

Don't turn up for rehearsals

[Flutey]

End all musical discussion by practising really loudly

[cragdrummer]

flirt with other band members during rehersal :)

[Dave 2nd2nd Cornet]

Go to work before the end of rehearsals

[Flutey]

^Bad banana man!!!

Have lengthy discussions about something then ask why you discussed it

[Dave 2nd2nd Cornet]

Interupt when the Conductor is talking

[Flutey]

jump up in the middle of a piece and leave

[Dave 2nd2nd Cornet]

^that's me

Keep talking during rehearsal

[Flutey]

^that's me!!!

laugh at other people's mistakes

[Dave 2nd2nd Cornet]

Make siily mistakes

[Flutey]

Nastily interrupt

[Dave 2nd2nd Cornet]

Over blow

[Harold.Wells]

Play the wrong piece!

[Dave 2nd2nd Cornet]

Quit playing

[Harold.Wells]

Rall at the end of every phrase

[Dave 2nd2nd Cornet]

Stick ya tongue out at him

[Harold.Wells]

Tongue hard in legato passages

[Dave 2nd2nd Cornet]

Use the wrong mute

[bigmamabadger]

Veer sharply into his car in the carpark...

[Harold.Wells]

Wreck his best baton

[bigmamabadger]

Xamine nailvarnish during sop solo

[1st Position]

Make a sound like a Zoo animal

[Harold.Wells]

Arrange your music during rehearsal

[bigmamabadger]

Beep your horn outside the bandroom

[Harold.Wells]

Clean your instrument when you're supposed to be playing!

[Dave 2nd2nd Cornet]

Chat to trombones at the other side of bandroom

[bigmamabadger]

Dye your hair so it clashes with your uniform... :roll:

[Harold.Wells]

Eat crisps during rehearsal

[1st Position]

Eat your dinner during rehearsal.

[Dave 2nd2nd Cornet]

Flick bogeys acroos the bandroom

[bigmamabadger]

Fart during the quiet bits. During a concert

[1st Position]

Fart during the quiet bits. During a concert

Whats wrong with that?:)

Go to the toilet.

[bigmamabadger]

Hit him

[Dave 2nd2nd Cornet]

Insult him

[bigmamabadger]

Jump on his toes

[Dave 2nd2nd Cornet]

Kick him

[bigmamabadger]

Lose your music folder.

[Magic Flute]

Miss your entry

[andywooler]

Not listen to his words of wisdom

[bigmamabadger]

Open a can of coke in his face

[Bryan_sop]

Pass wind

[andywooler]

quit playing

[Dave 2nd2nd Cornet]

Read a book during rehearsal

[Bryan_sop]

Swear loudly every time someone makes a mistake

[andywooler]

Take his stand away

[Dave 2nd2nd Cornet]

Undo his stand so it collapses mid rehearsal

[honey bun]

Vary the style-different to what they ask-every time its played

[Dave 2nd2nd Cornet]

Wasting band rehearsal time by not practising at home

[bigmamabadger]

Xceed fff during the pretty euphonium solo

[Dave 2nd2nd Cornet]

Yodel during rehearsal

[Magic Flute]

Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz (fall asleep) during rehearsal

[Flutey]

Argue with the rest of the section

[bigmamabadger]

Beat the wrong time with your instrument

[Dave 2nd2nd Cornet]

Belittle other players

[honey bun]

Count very loudly

[Dave 2nd2nd Cornet]

Don't come in at the right place

[Flutey]

Easily muck up

[Dave 2nd2nd Cornet]

Forget your music

[honey bun]

Go on playing after he's stopped the band

[Flutey]

Highlight all the things people do wrong

[Bryan_sop]

Ignore everything he/she says

[Magic Flute]

Ignore him/ her

[Flutey]

Jinx the band... ;)

[honey bun]

Ignore everything they say

[Magic Flute]

Keep playing when conductor stops

[Flutey]

Laugh at everyone

[bigmamabadger]

Make shadow pictures in the spotlights dueing a concert.

[Flutey]

Never come to practise

[bigmamabadger]

Open a box of chocolates and don't offer him one

[Bryan_sop]

Play everything up a semitone

[honey bun]

Quicken everything

[Magic Flute]

Rush ahead

[Dave 2nd2nd Cornet]

Stop playing in the middle of a solo

[Bryan_sop]

Turn up with the wrong instrument

[honey bun]

Undermine everything they say/do

[Flutey]

Valves are sticky so don't play

[honey bun]

Whistle loudly

[Bryan_sop]

Wink at him/her whenever he/she gives you a cue

[andywooler]

X out the solo you can't quite play yet!

[Flutey]

Yell at people when they make mistakes

[andywooler]

Zzzzzzz during the rehearsal

[1st Position]

Assist them by conducting along.

[Flutey]

Bat away invisible flies

[1st Position]

Curse out loud at having to play Christmas music again

[Flutey]

Don't play every time you find a note you don't like

[Bryan_sop]

^^ Wouldn't get much playing done!!

Eat your music

[Flutey]

^that's the point!

Forget to play

[1st Position]

Get out your bagpipes

[Dave 2nd2nd Cornet]

Hit him/her with a Trombone

[Bryan_sop]

Incoherently babble rubbish

Edited due to inability to remember the alphabet....hence next post!!!

Back to school for me I think :confused:

[Dave 2nd2nd Cornet]

^huh? thought I came after H?

[andywooler]

Juggle with your mutes

[Bayerd]

Kick him in the Niagras

[JohnnyEuph]

'lose' Your Music (like Our Back Row Have A Habit Of Doing)

[Bryan_sop]

Mime your part instead of playing it

[honey bun]

Not turn up

[bigmamabadger]

Oust him from his position... :roll:

[Magic Flute]

Play at 1/2 speed

[JohnnyEuph]

Question every musical judgement they make - likely to get you sacked

[honey bun]

Rustle your music

[Dave 2nd2nd Cornet]

Stamp on his foot

[Bayerd]

Tazz like hell

[Flutey]

Undo all the changes you pencilled in

[Dave 2nd2nd Cornet]

Voice you're opinions about his conducting skills

[Flutey]

I have band tonight ;)... muahahahaha

Walk out

[1st Position]

Throw a Xylocarp at him. To save you all rushing for your dictionary, it's a type of fruit that has a hard wooden shell, like a coconut.

[gawber]

Yawn and look disinterested every time he talks

[Bryan_sop]

Zilch.....do absolutely nothing all rehearsal

[Dave 2nd2nd Cornet]

Accidentally throw a BBb bass at him!:eek:

[bigmamabadger]

Bring an iguana to rehearsal

[Bryan_sop]

Cry when he tells you you're not doing something right

[gawber]

deliberately play #'s where there aren't any

[honey bun]

Embrace everyone even when rehearsal has started

[andywooler]

Fall about laughing when you are told you are playing too loudly

[honey bun]

Giggle at everything they say

[andyp]

Hold your instrument backwards and attempt to play it in reverse.

[andyp]

Imbibe far too much Stella Artois before rehearsal, thus needing to get up every 5 minutes to go to the toilet.........

[honey bun]

Imitate them conducting

[honey bun]

Jump up and down for no reason

[andyp]

Jump on their baton and break it!

[honey bun]

Kick your mutes about

[andyp]

Lengthen everyone's tuning slides by slightly different amounts.

[honey bun]

Mix everyones music up

[bigmamabadger]

Noodle during marches

[Bryan_sop]

Openly admitting your love of bagpipe music

[Flutey]

^ooooh dangerous!

Pretending to conduct along

[honey bun]

Quit playing cos you can't be bothered

[Flutey]

Run around screaming 'I can't take this any more!' and when asked what you can't take, say 'Erm.......'

[Dave 2nd2nd Cornet]

Shout back at him!!!

[Flutey]

Tell the band that they shouldn't play until the MD apologises for shouting!

[Dave 2nd2nd Cornet]

Use the wrong mute

[Flutey]

Verify every mistake made

[honey bun]

Wait til everyones stopped playing then play

[1st Position]

Unscrew the conductors stand.

[Dave 2nd2nd Cornet]

Voice your opinions about his abilities as a conductor

[Flutey]

Want more breaks and less practises

[Andybassbone]

X the conductors daughter.......well it nearly works!!

[Flutey]

Yodel during the cornet solo

[Andybassbone]

bring your pet Zebra to band (ok its been a long day:) )

[Flutey]

hehe!

Articulate wrongly

[1st Position]

Blow water out loudly every time he speaks.

[Flutey]

Comment on everything

[1st Position]

Dance around the conductor.

[Dave 2nd2nd Cornet]

Don't Practice at home

[bigmamabadger]

Eat his packed lunch on Whit Friday.

[Flutey]

Forget music at comps!

[the fish]

Get drunk before practice

[Dave 2nd2nd Cornet]

Hurl abuse at him

[Flutey]

interrupt him/her

[Dave 2nd2nd Cornet]

Just keep ignoring him

[Flutey]

Keenly show off you knowledge of the composer... for 20 mins with an accompanying slide show

[Dave 2nd2nd Cornet]

Leave out important parts

[Flutey]

Make up your part

[andyp]

Nerf-gun them constantly.

[bigmamabadger]

Ogle lighting technicians instead of watching the conductor's beat. (It wasn't me. I was just sitting next to someone who was...)

[Andybassbone]

Poke your tongue out at someone across the band

[Dave 2nd2nd Cornet]

Quibble about his instructions, the conductor's ALWAYS right

[Bryan_sop]

Remove all the valve slides from your instrument and play as normal

[westburykid]

Sharpen (lip up) your tuning note, even though they have just told you to pull out a little bit.

[Bryan_sop]

Turn up drunk

[ronnie_the_lizard]

Undo your 4th valve for oiling, then misthread it putting the top back on so it takes 5 mins to get working again.

[Andybassbone]

Vomit into a Eb Bass (sorry.....)

[andywooler]

wait outside his house very late at night

[Flutey]

xpress your concerns about his musical skills

[Magic Flute]

Yawn loudly

[Flutey]

^do that anyway... in lessons :tongue:

Zoom round the band causing music to fly off stands

[ronnie_the_lizard]

Announce that the band commitee has appointed a new conductor, starting tonight.....

[Flutey]

Borrow a new conductor!

[ronnie_the_lizard]

Conduct the band yourself.....

[Flutey]

Dance along

[gawber]

Empty your water valve over him

[Flutey]

Flick ink at his nice new white shirt

[ronnie_the_lizard]

Grin enthusiastically when he tells you you're playing it wrong ;)

[Flutey]

''Help'' other players

[Dave 2nd2nd Cornet]

Interfere with other players

[Flutey]

Jump on other players...

[Dave 2nd2nd Cornet]

Keep blowing raspberries at him

[Flutey]

Loudly play the wrong piece

[bigmamabadger]

Melt chocolate all over his baton

[Flutey]

Nick his baton

[Dave 2nd2nd Cornet]

^his baton called nick?

Overblow

[Flutey]

^yes Dave... *calls men in white coats and jumps down a rabbit hole*

Produce a rubbish sound

[Harold.Wells]

Quicken your playing during a rall

[Dave 2nd2nd Cornet]

Repeat the same mistakes over and over again

[andywooler]

staccato playing during those legato passages

[Flutey]

Tuning badly

[Ickle.Hannah]

Melt chocolate all over his baton Melt chocolate over him/her! :) :sup :D ;) :p :oops: :clap: :cool:

[Flutey]

^lol lots of smileys there!

U comes next anyway........... unntie his/her laces... dunno why!

[meandmycornet]

Velcro him/her to the floor :tongue:

[Flutey]

wander in and out the room

[Dave 2nd2nd Cornet]

X him off ya Christmas Card list

[Flutey]

Yodel at his door instead of carol singing

[bigmamabadger]

Melt chocolate over him/her! :) :sup :D ;) :p :oops: :clap: :cool:
He/She/It might like that too much. Not prepared to go there...

Ziplock his music case closed.

[Flutey]

He/She/It might like that too much. Not prepared to go there...
ew ew ew ew ew! Iclke_Hannah's only 12- don't pervert her mind! Then again, I'm 14... :rolleyes: says a lot really.

Ask how to play every note.

[bigmamabadger]

Burp your part instead of playing it

[Flutey]

Catch a cough just before contests

[Dave 2nd2nd Cornet]

Don't turn up for rehearsal

[bigmamabadger]

Etch rude words on your bell

[Flutey]

Fly to the moon to get away from him

[Dave 2nd2nd Cornet]

Greet him with a sarcastic remark

[Flutey]

Hit him as hard as possible

[Dave 2nd2nd Cornet]

Ignite his music

[Flutey]

Jump on his stand

[Magic Flute]

Kick him

[Flutey]

Laugh at him

[Magic Flute]

Mime instead of playing/singing

[Flutey]

Note down everything people say and tell him you're writing a book on band life

[Harold.Wells]

Open a bag of crisps while the band's rehearsing a really quiet piece

[Flutey]

Partake in name calling

[the fish]

Quote how good the previous conductor was

[Harold.Wells]

Run into rehearsal late and apologise that you will have to leave early.

[Dave 2nd2nd Cornet]

Slap him across the face

[Harold.Wells]

Tap your foot loudly (not in time to the music!)

[Dave 2nd2nd Cornet]

Use your mobile mid rehearsal

[Harold.Wells]

Voice your opinion loudly, on every piece of music the conductor brings out.

[Dave 2nd2nd Cornet]

Walk out because you don't like the music he gets out

[Flutey]

Xpress your opinions on everything

[Dave 2nd2nd Cornet]

Yowl like a dog in the middle of a solo

[Flutey]

Zip up your coat so it covers your mouth and you can't play

[Dave 2nd2nd Cornet]

Ave an affair with his wife

[Flutey]

Blank him

[Dave 2nd2nd Cornet]

Chuck your instrument at him

[Flutey]

Don't play

[Dave 2nd2nd Cornet]

Eat a packed lunch whilst playing

[Flutey]

Flirt with him

[Dave 2nd2nd Cornet]

Glare at him in a threatening manner

[Flutey]

Hit him very hard

[Dave 2nd2nd Cornet]

Ignore him

[Flutey]

Jump on his music

[Dave 2nd2nd Cornet]

Keep playing wrong notes

[Flutey]

Laugh at him

[Dave 2nd2nd Cornet]

Melt ice-cream over his head

[Flutey]

Never shut up

[Dave 2nd2nd Cornet]

Open cans of beer mid rehearsal

[Flutey]

Pass sweets around

[Dave 2nd2nd Cornet]

Quickly lose interest in the rehearsal

[Flutey]

Run away screaming

[Dave 2nd2nd Cornet]

Start to sing

[Flutey]

^that would kill him ;)

Try to play the wrong piece

[Dave 2nd2nd Cornet]

^correct

Upset his music stand

[Flutey]

very rudely talk to him

[Dave 2nd2nd Cornet]

Walk on his foot

[Curiosity_Kills]

Xerox his/her face onto a Wanted Poster

[Dave 2nd2nd Cornet]

Yank his baton from his hand and conduct yourself

[Bryan_sop]

Zap him with a water gun

[Flutey]

Announce your new MD... when he has no intention of leaving the band