View Full Version : Unexplained Mysteries of time!!
You know those questions that just appear randomly in your brain?? No??? Ok, perhaps they just appear randomly in mine then. Here's a few to get you thinking:
What does an occasional table do the rest of the time?
Where does your lap go when you stand up?
If you unscrew your belly-button will your bottom fall off?
Is a tramp without legs a low - down bum?
Why is belly button fluff always blue??
Why does the word apostrophe not have one?
Why is abbreviation such a long word?
You get the idea. I'll leave it open to all!!!!
B. Puss esq
What colour does a smurf go when you strangle it?
Is there another word for Synonym?
MICKTHEEUPH
20.10.2003, 09:18
* Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out?"
* Who was the first person to say, "See that chicken there... I'm gonna eat the next thing that comes outta it's ass."
* Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?
* Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?
* If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a song about him?
* If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?
* Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don't point to their ass when they ask where the bathroom is?
* Why does your ob-gyn leave the room when you get undressed if they are going to look up there anyway?
* Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs!
* What do you call male ballerinas?
* Can blind people see their dreams? Do they dream??
* If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that Acme ****, why didn't he just buy dinner?
* If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?
* If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, then what is baby oil made from?
* If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?
* Is Disney World the only people trap operated by a mouse?
* Why do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?
Stop singing and read on . . . . . .. . . . .
* Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup?
* Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the hemisphere, but call it a hemorrhoid when it's in your ass?
* Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him on a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?
* Does pushing the elevator button more than once make it arrive faster?
JessopSmythe
20.10.2003, 10:25
If a tree falls in a forest with no-one around and lands on a mime artist, does anyone care?
if a tree falls when no1s around does it make a noise??
If a man sits in a glass box suspended from a tree in a forest and no one sees, is he still an idiot?
- If we didn't have golf balls, how would we measure hail?
- What if there were no hypothetical questions?
PeterBale
20.10.2003, 12:27
- What if Peter hadn't caught the wolf, what then :?: :wink:
Why is there only one Monopolies Comission?
If you fastened a large piece of buttered toast to a cat's back, would it hover indefinitely?
Why do people put "Do not open this door" signs on doors?
Why is there not another word for Thesaurus?
and to be a tad controversial?.......
If the adjudicators were listening last year at the RAH, how come Fodens didn't win? :twisted: :lol:
What's the speed of dark?
How many roads must a man walk down, before he'll admit he's lost?
PeterBale
20.10.2003, 13:15
How high is a chinaman?
LipService
20.10.2003, 13:17
Why is the word 'dyslexia' so hard to spell?
If your car were travelling at the speed of light, would the headlights work?
On a more ethical note, if Adam and Eve only had two sons, how did the rest of the human race evolve?
If you were on a plane travelling at the speed of light, and you walked from the back to the front are you travelling faster than the speed of light?? :D :lol: :lol:
Ben :D
chicken or egg, chicken or egg...?
what is the sound of one hand clapping?
Sorry science teacher here :oops: - I am not going to even try to start explaining where this is wrong :oops:
* If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?
:D :oops: :wink: :lol:
Love the rest though - keep um coming!
super_sop
20.10.2003, 17:41
Sorry science teacher here :oops: - I am not going to even try to start explaining where this is wrong :oops:
* If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?
:D :oops: :wink: :lol:
why were does morality come from!!!! :lol:
lol :lol:
probably should have explained myself:
Electricity does not come from electrons!!!! So where does that leave morality (and more importantly the morons!!!! :? :D )
timbloke
20.10.2003, 18:07
i'm really tempted to answer some of those... but instead i'll ask the following....
if a fly is called a fly, why isn't a fish called a swim?
PeterBale
21.10.2003, 08:28
If you can park a car in a park, and drive a car on a drive, why can't you steer a car on a steer?
cornydevil
21.10.2003, 13:11
A train travels down the track at 100mph and hits a fly travelling in the opposite direction. Is there a point when the train and fly are both stationary? (fly has to stop at some point to reverse direction!)
:roll: :!: :?:
Kernewek Den
21.10.2003, 13:20
chicken or egg, chicken or egg...?
http://www.webforwards.com/images/whocamefirst.jpg
i'm not a manc!
21.10.2003, 13:55
-if people from Poland are called Poles, why are people from Holland not called Holes
-Does the Energizer Bunny have a girlfriend, and if so, is she incredibly satisfied?
-Can you daydream at night?
MICKTHEEUPH
21.10.2003, 14:12
A train travels down the track at 100mph and hits a fly travelling in the opposite direction. Is there a point when the train and fly are both stationary? (fly has to stop at some point to reverse direction!)
:roll: :!: :?:
Must be one hell of a big fly to stop a train?? Could be a new excuse for the rail services "The next train to Kings Cross will be 2 hours late 'cause it hit a fly!"
andywooler
21.10.2003, 19:22
how does the man who drives the snow plough get to work?
super_sop
21.10.2003, 19:37
Who was the first person to try ski jumping, AND WHY!?
Who was the first person to try ski jumping, AND WHY!?
why have u changeed ur signiture? :evil: :evil: :evil:
Jo Elson
21.10.2003, 21:11
if Adam and Eve only had two sons, how did the rest of the human race evolve?
-Adam was the first person on earth, so how did Eve get there and how did Adam get there in the first place.
-How do chickens/hens know where their going when their eyes are on the side of their heads, so they have two different views in their head at one time :shock:
bigmamabadger
22.10.2003, 20:02
How big is Belgium? :roll:
BMB
P.S. Found these 2 letters in www.nrich.maths.org.uk. How sad am I. :oops: :twisted:
1. Imagine a fly above a train track. A train comes towards it and whilst they are both moving towards each other they collide. The fly is accelerated in the direction of movement of the train.
The fly has now reversed in direction. Its velocity must have passed through 0 i.e. from -ve to +ve direction. The collision is totally inelastic so they now share the same velocity. So when the fly's velocity is 0 so is the trains! The fly, has stopped the train (instantly)!
2. I'm sorry but no. The fly does not stop the train, if the train has stopped it must accelerate back to its previous speed, if it is only stopped for an instant there must be infinite acceleration. This is a feat that can only happen on poorly drawn graphs, never reality, the fly has almost infinite acceleration but not quite, there is an unnoticable duration of change of speed of the fly. There is an unnoticable change in the trains speed, yes, and the fly for an instant does stop. But this is at the point of collision, they only share the same speed after the point of collision. I might seem to be bawling in your face (I suppose it depends on how you read it), but I'd hate to think you'd ruin your chances for a decent grade on the basis of one simple misunderstanding. I hope i've set things straight.
The reason the train does stop is because :
The fly hits the train in an instant, during this time period the train does not move, so how can we measure its speed.
Flies squash into a nice mess when they hit the train so they don't behave as true particles.
The Cornet King
22.10.2003, 20:44
If Vegetarians eat Vegetables...what do humanitarians eat :?: !
Why is it that parents spend the first few years of their childrens' lives teaching them how to walk and talk, and then spend the next few telling them to sit down and shut up??
Puss
Paul McLaughlin
26.10.2003, 14:29
If a tree falls in a forest with no-one around and lands on a mime artist, does anyone care?
If a man speaks in a forest and ther's no woman to hear him is he still wrong?
Why do they sterilise the needle used to give lethal injections?
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