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flower girl
07.02.2006, 21:25
this is about as off topic as you can get.

just out of interest what are peoples opinions on age gaps (how big is too big etc) within relationships, and what are their reasons for feeling like this?

lisa XX

sugarandspice
07.02.2006, 21:32
How old are you?

Tom-King
07.02.2006, 22:23
to me personally anything over say 4-5 years would be strange...

I can never understand 16 year old girls who go out with 30 year old men - then again, imagine being a 30 year old man going out with a 16 year old girl, someone whos young enough to be your child - how wierd would that be?!?)

brasscrest
07.02.2006, 22:46
It depends on the actual ages of the people involved. For example, a 15-year gap is creepy when one is 15 and the other is 30, but is not really so bad when one is 60 and the other is 75.

mikelyons
07.02.2006, 23:21
Providing neither party is guilty of pederasty or necrophilia, I really couldn't care less (or could care less - for our American cousins ;))

If two people genuinely love each other then an age gap does not matter.

brasscrest
07.02.2006, 23:35
The type of relationship is much more important to look at than the ages of the persons involved. An abusive relationship is still abusive whether the people are exactly the same age or 25 years difference.

ruthatron
08.02.2006, 00:51
age gaps aren't something i have a problem with. it's the relationship that's important. but this may have something to do with the fact i've been bought up by parents who have been married for 26/27 years and they have a 14 year age gap between them...

Naomi McFadyen
08.02.2006, 02:52
Age gaps.... who cares... so long as the two people are in love with each other, isn't that the main thing?

Steve
08.02.2006, 10:51
^ Not at all true!!! Thats great for now but what happens when due to an age gap they struggle to share the same interests. Love may be a wonderful thing but its not going to keep two people the same as they were the day they met unfortunately

brasscrest
08.02.2006, 11:41
Age gaps may not be important at the beginning of a relationship, but that might not be true at the end.

Suppose you're a 25-year old woman in a long-term relationship with a 50-year old man. You're likely to be a widow between 50 and 60. Ask any woman that age who's single how easy it is to find another partner.

Lisa
08.02.2006, 11:54
I don't think there is anything wrong with large age-gaps of say 15/20 yrs or more but...

[Psychoanalytical Lisa] I think you have to question the reasons why someone would go for someone that much older...I think sometimes it is easy to confuse things, such as the sense of security of an older man, with 'love'...or from the older person's perspective they may be in denial about getting older, clinging on to their youth by being with someone much younger.
Saying that, I'm sure there are some people in big-age-gap relationships who are genuinely in love! :) [/Psychoanalytical Lisa]

Rapier
08.02.2006, 17:12
With a wife? About 5 years.
With a mistress? Whatever you can get away with. ;)

Cornishwomble
08.02.2006, 18:03
There's 7 years difference between my Wife and me (I'm the older one!) and to be honest it's never been an issue. We both like the same things and are compatiable, if the age gap is very big then I agree that you need to think about the implications of staying in it for the long term but if it feels right then so what.

Most of the comments on here that have criticised age gaps seem very logical and non-emotional which isn't really compatible when you're talking about love

flower girl
08.02.2006, 20:56
Thanks every one for all of the advice and opinions.

And a massive thank you to roy, looking at how happy you and linda are together has just helped me make up my mind. XX

barrytone
10.02.2006, 09:41
Flowergirl,

I know you've made your mind up but just to give my opinion, there was a massive age gap between myself and an ex-boyfriend of mine. It was never an issue for us just other people. I don't know how old you are but I was in my twenties when I met him and certainly knew what I was doing. If it makes you happy, go for it. Life is just too short to worry about what other people think.

Stan Van Der Lager
10.02.2006, 12:08
With a mistress? Whatever you can get away with. ;)

I hear ya... I've often thought that if I was 50 and had a women 25 years younger than me that it'd be a right result... CASH BACK.

Liz Courts
10.02.2006, 13:05
There's a 15 year age gap between my parents, and they've been married for 26 years, so I think age gap relationships can work, but it really does depend on the individuals! :)

2nd man down
10.02.2006, 14:02
Like most have already said, when love gets in the way, nothing should stop it, least of all an age gap.

The only limiting factor should be the age of consent of the younger party.

manx_yessir
10.02.2006, 15:34
Thanks every one for all of the advice and opinions.

And a massive thank you to roy, looking at how happy you and linda are together has just helped me make up my mind. XX

Lisa, there's a Ten year age gap (ten years to the DAY!) between Sally and I and it has never, ever got in the way. There used to be comments said by people, but more of surpise than anything nasty, but now most people don't even notice it.
It just bugs me a bit that I have to share my Birthday with her!:rolleyes:

What ever it is you've made your mind up to do, good luck with it.

flower girl
11.02.2006, 01:11
god andy i never realised that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! thanks every one!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Charmed
11.02.2006, 01:55
Just to add my two penny worth - I think it depends on which way round the age gap is. My hubbie is 6 yrs younger than me, and sometimes he gets called my son. Not always good for an equal relationship. I bet I wouldn't be mistaken for his daughter if he were 6 yrs older than me. Men have it easy. ;)

sugarandspice
11.02.2006, 17:21
There's a 15 year age gap between my parents, and they've been married for 26 years, so I think age gap relationships can work, but it really does depend on the individuals! :)

Never stopped you frowning at me tho?!!! Hmmm!

Liz Courts
11.02.2006, 17:53
That's just an expression of personal opinion towards your situations...!! Hehe :)

sugarandspice
12.02.2006, 17:56
That's just an expression of personal opinion towards your situations...!! Hehe :)

Is there any need to use the plural?!!

Anyway, I wouldn't let age get in the way, as long as your both senisble about it :)