World Cup Rules

Discussion in 'Off-Topic Chat' started by MRSH, May 1, 2010.

  1. MRSH

    MRSH Supporting Member

    As the big event draws ever nearer it's time to get things sorted :biggrin:

    Dear wife/sweetheart/girlfriend/partner/whomever it may concern,

    1. Between 11 June and 11 July 2010, you should read the sports section of the newspaper so that you are aware of what is going on regarding the World of Soccer, and that way you will be able to join in the conversations. If you fail to do this, then you will be looked at in a bad way, or you will be totally ignored. Do not complain about not receiving any attention.

    2. During the World Cup, the television is mine, at all times, without any exception. If you even take a glimpse of the remote control you will lose it (your eye).

    3. If you have to pass by in front of the TV during a game, I don't mind, as long as you do it crawling on the floor and without distracting me.

    4. During the games I will be blind, deaf and mute, unless I require a refill of my drink or something to eat. You are out of your mind if you expect me to listen to you, open the door, answer the telephone, or pick up the baby that just fell on the floor....It won't happen.

    5. It would be a good idea for you to keep at least two six-packs in the fridge at all times, as well as plenty of things to nibble on (excluding your body parts), and please do not make any funny faces to my friends when they come over to watch the games. In return, you will be allowed to use the TV between 12am and 6am, unless they show a good game again I missed during the day.

    6. Please, please, please! If you see me upset because one of my teams is losing, do not say "get over it, it's only a game", or "don't worry, they'll win next time". If you say these things, you will only make me angrier and I will love you less. Remember, you will never ever know more about football than me and your so called "words of encouragement" will only lead to a break up or divorce.

    7. You are welcome to sit with me to watch one game and you can talk to me during half time but only when the ads are on, and only if the half-time score is pleasing me. In addition, please note I am saying "one" game; hence do not use the World Cup as a nice cheesy excuse to "spend time together".

    8. The replays of the goals are very important. I don't care if I have seen them or I haven't seen them, I want to see them again, Many times.

    9. Tell your friends not to have any babies, or any other child-related parties or gatherings that requires my attendance because:
    a) I will not go,
    b) I will not go, and
    c) I will not go.

    10. But, if a friend of mine invites us to his house on a Sunday to watch a game, we will be there in a flash.

    11. The daily World Cup highlights show on TV every night is just as important as the games themselves. Do not even think about saying "but you have already seen this...why don't you change the channel to something we can all watch?" because, the reply will be, "Refer to Rule 2 of this list".

    12. And finally, please save your expressions such as "Thank God the World Cup is only every 4 years". I am immune to these words, because before and after this comes the Champions League, Premier League, Italian League, Spanish League, FA Cup, Euro Championships, etc.


    By the way if the car breaks down or you are stuck somewhere on the road, call the Police or AA.

    Thank you for your co-operation.

  2. Laserbeam bass

    Laserbeam bass Active Member

    Lucky your Mrs is just as mad about football as you are :biggrin:
  3. Maestro

    Maestro Active Member

    Don't forget league 1 as well Matt :biggrin: :tongue:
  4. MRSH

    MRSH Supporting Member

    Not this season, Kev, not this season. The most heart-stopping 90 minutes of my life that. Get in the Eagles and commiserations to The Owls.
  5. dyl

    dyl Active Member

    Soccer? SOCCER????? :ranting2:
  6. MRSH

    MRSH Supporting Member

    Women don't know what FOOTBALL is!!!!! :rolleyes:
  7. DublinBass

    DublinBass Supporting Member

    I read it to my Mrs. H...I don't think she found it as amusing as I did!
  8. Laserbeam bass

    Laserbeam bass Active Member

    I was in a quandry yesterday, as I know two Palace fans MRSH, and a young lady at work, but I also know a Sheffield United fan. I wanted Palace to stay up, but equally wanted Wed to stay up as well.
    On the day, Palace took their chances.
    Wed were undone by their own stupidity. The striker celebrating and breaking his toe. What a numpty. If he had stayed on it could have been such a different game.

    Congrats to the Eagles. Let's hope they find a buyer soon.
  9. Maestro

    Maestro Active Member

    Anyone got a spare fiver? :biggrin: :biggrin:
  10. Laserbeam bass

    Laserbeam bass Active Member

    Wow, didn't know Barry Hearn was on tmp ;)
  11. Aardvark

    Aardvark Member

    You are in big trouble :ranting2:
  12. Laserbeam bass

    Laserbeam bass Active Member

    I think I'll throw away that Crystal (palace) ball now.

    Come on you Toffees!!!!!
  13. Aardvark

    Aardvark Member

    I've always liked you Tom :biggrin:
  14. ronaldorx

    ronaldorx New Member

    Football world cup rules are as under.
    1.who will win the match they get 2 point
    2.if the match were tie both team get 1 point
    3.who get higher get net run rat they will win

    they all are the rules of world cup.