Why why why...?

Discussion in 'Off-Topic Chat' started by TheMusicMan, Mar 8, 2006.

  1. TheMusicMan

    TheMusicMan tMP Founder Staff Member

    Why, Why, Why ?

    I am certain most of us can relate to many of these questions. How many apply to you then?

    Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are getting weak?

    Why do banks charge a fee on "insufficient funds" when they know there is not enough?

    Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?

    Why doesn't glue stick to the bottle?

    Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection?

    Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?

    Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a revolver at him?

    Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?

    Whose idea was it to put an "S" in the word "lisp"?

    If people evolved from apes, why are there still apes?

    Why is it that no matter what colour bubble bath you use the bubbles are always white?

    Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale?

    Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialized?

    Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times with their vacuum cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down to give the vacuum one more chance?

    Why is it that no plastic bag will open from the end on your first try?

    How do those dead bugs get into those enclosed light fixtures?

    When we are in the supermarket and someone rams our ankle with a shopping cart then apologizes for doing so, why do we say, "It's all right?" Well, it isn't all right, so why don't we say, "That hurt, you stupid idiot?"

    Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that's falling off the table you always manage to knock something else over?

    In winter why do we try to keep the house as warm as it was in summer when we complained about the heat?

    How come you never hear father-in-law jokes?

    The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four persons is suffering from some sort of mental illness. Think of your three best friends -- if they're okay, then it's you.
  2. HBB

    HBB Active Member

    Why do 24 hour shops have locks ;)
  3. Bungle

    Bungle Member

    Why do the people who paint white lines on roads, never remove the 'No Line Marking' signs?
  4. akwarose

    akwarose Active Member

    delilah :tongue:

    what if you have no friends?
    *thinks* i have friends.... they're normal.... therefore .... oh god!!! :eek:
  5. Charmed

    Charmed Active Member

    :clap: Very entertaining
  6. flower girl

    flower girl Member

    well that kept me entertained for 10 mins, got any more?
  7. matti_raz

    matti_raz Member

    very good!!! glue tends to stick everywhere but the paper when i have it though!
  8. bagpuss

    bagpuss Active Member

    Why is abbreviation such a long word?

    Why do packets of peanuts contain warnings that the contents 'may' contain nuts?

    Why when someone plays a wrong note on a brass instrument do they always look at the instrument?

    Why is 90% of baby food orange and an equivalent percentage of baby clothes white?

  9. Charmed

    Charmed Active Member

    You mean it's NOT the instruments fault! :eek:
  10. bagpuss

    bagpuss Active Member

    Ahhh, you must be a cornet player then!!;) ;)

  11. ronnie_the_lizard

    ronnie_the_lizard Active Member

    It's actually quite hard to look at your lips +/- tongue - try it next time you play a wrong note.........
  12. Jan H

    Jan H Moderator Staff Member

    You could look at your lips by looking at their reflection in your shiny instrument... ;)
  13. Rapier

    Rapier Supporting Member

    In films:
    Why does anyone being chased always go up and then look surprised that there is nowhere else to go?
    Why do women always trip up?
    When a cars brakes fail/are cut why do they never change to a lower gear and use the handbrake?
    When a car pulls alongside and then tries to ram them off the road, why don't they brake hard?

    And finally, a band related one. Why do composers give you loads of bars rest and then several bars that are impossible to play? ;)
  14. Rambo Chick

    Rambo Chick Member

    Why in a film where someone is being chased or attacked and they happen to have a phone in one hand and weapon of some sort in the other, do they always use the phone to ward off their attacker?!:confused:

    (e.g. Scream!)
  15. 2nd man down

    2nd man down Moderator Staff Member

    Why do women in slasher movies (and this is usually after they know that someone has already been hacked to death) only ever get undeessed in front of open, un-curtained windows, and then when they hear something unusual, go out on their own in to the darkness to investigate??

    I watched evil dead the other day, one of the group had been attacked by the trees???? :confused: and turned in to some zombie like creature that the rest of the group managed to lock in the spooky celler (with a partially open celler door so they could still hear and see this thing), and then they all went to bed, alone, in separate rooms :eek: ...and you guessed it...got undressed in front of open, uncurtained windows!!! I mean, COME ON!!! :mad:

    I'm damn sure if anything close to that happening had happened to a group I was in you could guarantee one of two things;
    1. you wouldn't find me within 500 miles of that place inside of 10 minutes
    2. if we couldn't leave you wouldn't get me to leave the side of any of the others even if you tried dragging me with wild horses!!
  16. PeterBale

    PeterBale Moderator Staff Member

    Something very similar used to happen in the old episodes of Doctor Who: you could guarantee that, once the Tardis had landed in some bleak landscape, it would only be a few minutes before the Doctor and whichever of his assistants it happened to be had gone off in different directions, only for one of them to fall prey to the local aliens or baddies :mad:
  17. Aardvark

    Aardvark Member

    And in shoot-outs why are the goodies always ace marksmen and the baddies useless :rolleyes:
  18. Nigel Hall

    Nigel Hall Supporting Member

    on a similar note.... If The A-Team were such a crack military unit why could they not shoot a person from 5 paces but hit a truck from miles away causing it to launch and somersault!! And where did the welding gear come from in every episode!!
  19. bagpuss

    bagpuss Active Member

    I suggested to a friend of mine that he gets the A-Team to fix his car. It's only the rust and muck that's holding his car together, but as the A-Team can make tanks and rocket launchers out of oil drums and a lawnmower his car should be no problem to them.

  20. bassinthebathroom

    bassinthebathroom Active Member

    Can't think who you mean, but when I see him this afternoon, I'll certainly ask him for you! :D

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