Why not to drag your partner to the shops!

Discussion in 'Off-Topic Chat' started by winterman, Feb 8, 2007.

  1. winterman

    winterman Member

    Proof of what can happen if a wife or girlfriend drags her husband or boyfriend along shopping.

    This letter was recently sent by Tesco's Head Office to a customer in Oxford:

    Dear Mrs. Murray,

    While we thank you for your valued custom and use of the Tesco Loyalty Card, the Manager of our store in Banbury is considering banning you and your family from shopping with us, unless your husband stops his antics.

    Below is a list of offences over the past few months all verified by our surveillance cameras:

    1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's trolleys when they weren't looking.

    2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.

    3. July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to feminine products aisle.

    4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official tone, "Code 3" in housewares..... and watched what happened.

    5. August 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

    6. September 15: Set up a tent in the outdoor clothing department and told shoppers he'd invite them in if they would bring sausages and a Calor gas stove.

    7. September 23: When the Deputy Manager asked if she could help him, he began to cry and asked, "Why can't you people just leave me alone?"

    8. October 4: Looked right into the security camera; used it as a mirror, picked his nose, and ate it.

    9. November 10: While appearing to be choosing kitchen knives in the Housewares aisle asked an assistant if he knew where the antidepressants were.

    10. December 3: Darted around the store suspiciously, loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme.

    11. December 6: In the kitchenware aisle, practised the "Madonna look" using different size funnels.

    12. December 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed, yelled "PICK ME!" "PICK ME!"

    13. December 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, assumed the feotal position and screamed "NO! NO! It's those voices again."

    And; last, but not least:

    14. December 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited a while; then yelled, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here."

    Yours sincerely,

    Charles Brown
    Store Manager

    Well It made me chuckle!! And gave me a few ideas should it ever happen to me!
  2. SuperMosh

    SuperMosh New Member

    This sounds like a list of things you MUST do at Tesco.

    Can't wait to go shopping with the wife now.
  3. ian perks

    ian perks Active Member

    well Sexy Cornet and myself go to Tesco but we do our shopping hand in hand and behave in a normal way also when we go to Sainsburys as well
  4. 2nd man down

    2nd man down Moderator Staff Member

    Shopping for what? A room? :rolleyes:

    Strangely enough I had this emailed to me today too, it's amazing how quickly these things get round.
  5. Lawrencediana

    Lawrencediana Member

    Hell!!!!!! I,m going to get a letter as well:eek:
  6. Hells Bones

    Hells Bones Active Member

    But what about when you go to Asda?
  7. Lawrencediana

    Lawrencediana Member

    That is normal behaviour in ASDA :biggrin:
  8. dyl

    dyl Active Member

    How does that work then? Is it one hand each on the trolley as well?
  9. manx_yessir

    manx_yessir Member

    So do you kind of stick to the middle of the aisle and each grab things from the shelves on your own side? Wow, you must get round in, like, half the time!
    What about heavy things though, like cases of Stella? You must have to lift them in the trolley with one hand! I'm well impressed!!:clap:
    Last edited: Feb 9, 2007
  10. 2nd man down

    2nd man down Moderator Staff Member

    And a bit quiker still considering they wouldn't have to stop for sausages! They'll probably have loads of sausage at home already! :rolleyes:
  11. Chunky

    Chunky Active Member

    Mr Perks would not buy Stella. Only Spanish Reds that he rotates around the wine rack.
  12. Ipswich trom

    Ipswich trom Member

    lol, thats brilliant. :clap:
  13. 2nd man down

    2nd man down Moderator Staff Member

    LMFOA. Clever, clever!!
  14. Bass Man

    Bass Man Active Member

    I'm going to show this to my girlfriend, she can never complain about my embarrassing behavior again!
  15. Nigel Hall

    Nigel Hall Supporting Member

    I was in Tesco's in Banbury this afternoon - I'm sure I saw him :biggrin:
  16. Maestro

    Maestro Active Member

    Very impressive young sir :clap: :clap:

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