Whit Friday Spectators Guide

Discussion in 'Off-Topic Chat' started by PaulBone, May 16, 2006.

  1. PaulBone

    PaulBone New Member

    Things to look out for at this years Whit Friday Marches.

    The Forlorn Hope. When the trombone frontline get the red mist and forge ahead in uncharacteristically perfect order, oblivious to the huge gap opening up behind them.

    Scrum Down. The opposite of the Forlorn Hope where the enthusiasm of the smaller instruments isn't matched by that of the larger instruments.

    Going for the Summit. When a maverick player, usually a trombone, decides to strike out on his/her own leaving the rest of the band behind.

    Parting of the Red Sea. The formation adopted by a band after the 'voiding' of a police horse at the larger venues. More professional musicians will 'take one for the team' and not break stride.

    The Kick and Chase. A new lyre - 6 quid. A roll of Sellotape - 1 quid. A player kicking their music along the floor - priceless.

    Lord of The Dance. A player having to perform some fancy footwork to try and get back into step. This can range from a small shuffle to a full on, mid-air 'Double Flattley'.

    Riverdance. For one night only, the band librarian on bass drum.

    Jones' Twitch. An affliction suffered by bandsmen with a modicum of army training, causing the affected player to doggedly insist on taking three extra steps after the signal to stop marching.

    Playing the Lottery. Bands that assume that all their borrowed players know that they're starting at the bass solo but not marching until the next double bar!!

    Anybody any more?
  2. Di

    Di Active Member

    Hahaha, very funny. I can't think of any more off hand, but they made me giggle.

    And :hi to tMP. :biggrin: Great first post!
  3. sparkling_quavers

    sparkling_quavers Active Member

    hahahahaha that one is brilliant!! excellent post - brightened up my day anyway! :biggrin::tup
  4. NeilW

    NeilW Member

    Dragging foot when the player didn't manage the Parting of the Red Sea successfully and put a foot in it
  5. Sellers_Bird

    Sellers_Bird Active Member

    this one could also be used for that dodgy as hell chicane scenario at Lydgate(?) ... half the band in the road, half on the pavement, big bollard goin right through the band!
  6. scotchgirl

    scotchgirl Active Member

    oh my god...I actually did a mini wee!!!! lol! very funny thread....hee hee....
  7. WhatSharp?

    WhatSharp? Active Member

    Wand'rin Star - When one of the outer players (usually the sop :D ) drifts off the line.

    Chip 'n' Chase - Seen at the start when one band member is caught halfway through a bag of chips as the band start to march off! :D
  8. 2nd man down

    2nd man down Moderator Staff Member

    The best thread in months!!! :clap: :D :p Brilliantly funny, the back of my heads hurting with laughing.

    Excellent first post PaulBone! :tongue: :clap: :tup
  9. geordiecolin

    geordiecolin Active Member

    Beer Gimp The surplus or non-playing member left holding 25 beverages when the band suddenly realise they're next up!

    The Contortionist The player marching in a crazy hunched up style, when after 3 steps they realise that trying to march with an open bottle of beer in the inside pocket isn't the greatest idea...

    Road trip The novice band which is quite clearly hopelessly lost.
  10. PeterBale

    PeterBale Moderator Staff Member

    Concertina band: the effect seen when the band - especially the rear ranks - forget the routine for halting, causing the rear ranks to continue marching once the front of the band has stopped.
  11. Bungle

    Bungle Member

    Outside runner: when the player marching on the outside comes to a 90 degree bend in the road and has to break into a run to keep up.
  12. 2nd man down

    2nd man down Moderator Staff Member

    Treading Water - The players on the inside route of the same 90 degree bend that have to stand but keep in step to let the "Outside Runners" catch up.
  13. 2nd man down

    2nd man down Moderator Staff Member

    The Bar Drag - The action of the few who know they're about to march off and have to fight their way to the bar of the nearby pub to collect the few others still waiting to get served.
  14. Bungle

    Bungle Member

    The band sip: When stopped by a spectator with a pint, one player requests a sip, the pint is then duly passed around the band, to be returned empty.
  15. 2nd man down

    2nd man down Moderator Staff Member

    The Wacky Races - When three or more buses arrive at a village at the same time and the ensuing scrum of runners dash off up the road trying to get to check in first.
  16. WhatSharp?

    WhatSharp? Active Member

    The Skin Basher - The over enthusiastic bass drummer who's sole mission in life seems to be the destruction of the skin on the bass drum!

    The Greenachres Shuffle - Often occurs in the long line of people queueing for the chip shop.

    The 100 yrds Dash - Commonly seen as the band is about to form up to march and one or two members realise they won't make it to the next toilet stop!

    The Delph Jig - Best viewed in the ensuing queue caused by the 100 yrd dash!
  17. BigHorn

    BigHorn Active Member

    The Sweeper also known as the The Card Sharp - makes frantic zigzag motions behind the band picking up lost music - usually seen in windy weather.
    Not to be confused with the LoopyGroupie Also seen following the the band but usually making exagerated marching actions or often skipping due to the acute effects of alchohol.
    Sometimes seen falling over the stooping Card Sharp.
  18. 2nd man down

    2nd man down Moderator Staff Member

    The "Whothe?" - That vacant, puzzled look you give someone who has just screamed hello at you from the crowd as you try to work out where the hell you know them from, before you realize they're off tMP and and you only know them by their user name!
  19. 2nd man down

    2nd man down Moderator Staff Member

    The Milk Crate - What our short ar*ed tubby little conductor has to stand on so we can all se him!! :biggrin: :biggrin: You see a bloke on a milk crate, that's us! :rolleyes:
  20. WhatSharp?

    WhatSharp? Active Member

    The Choker / Smog-Horn / Grey Mister - The general chaos that ensues on the stand when the wind changes direction near the on-fire burger van! :D

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