Which is the UGLIEST section?

Discussion in 'Off-Topic Chat' started by Melph, Nov 7, 2005.

  1. Melph

    Melph Member

    I have played with a few bands over the past 26yrs, and I can safely say that the bass section is by far the ugliest section of the brass band.

    This got me thinking as to why the bass section are at the back of the band - obviously this had to do with their grotesque features. Therefore, in order to hide them, they are placed behind a row of horns (a very attractive section).

    So why is the percussion at the back? Surely they are no uglier than the basses?

    What are your thoughts on this?

    Note: for the purposes of this thread, the conductor counts as a section of the band.
  2. meandmycornet

    meandmycornet Active Member

    You've got it all wrong! The horns are the ugliest! Closely followed by the trombones! Basses are definately not the ugliest section!
  3. Rapier

    Rapier Supporting Member

    Horns?? How dare you! There is a reason that only us Horns are allowed to face the audience, you know! :rolleyes: He's right, it's the Basses, followed very closely by the Trombones.
  4. lausonbass

    lausonbass Member

    thank you, as a bass player myself i was very offended, just cos there are a few well matured bass players around and about, there are also young ladies that make the effort when playing to look nice, and although i may not be a model i wouldn't call myself ugly.

    the bass isn't the most lady like intrument to play, thinking of local bands to me i would say the trombones are the ugliest (not you steve), although the ugly people seem to be pretty fairly shared out throughout our band.

  5. sugarandspice

    sugarandspice Active Member

    It's simple, Every section apart from the Euphoniums :)

    Surely it depends on how many females you have in a band?
    In most bands there is a higher proportaion of males? So obviously their sections are going to be uglier! :)
  6. Melph

    Melph Member

    As a Horn player myself, i can vouch for all horn players and say that with a few exceptions, horn players are not only talented, but also quite handsome \ lovely.
  7. Melph

    Melph Member

    Female Bass players are mostly exempt (I would hate to offend a female bass player).

    Euph section - now that IS and ungly section, hence why they face the audiance side on!
  8. sugarandspice

    sugarandspice Active Member

    Nice to have such a high opinion of yourself! I'll put it down to all those off beat quavers mangeling your brain! :)

    We have a female bass player, she invented the band bra!Legend! And then proceeded to show who ever was looking my bra on sat when she pulled my top down!

    Are we not being a little bit shallow here? I mean whats a so called ugly section got to do with anything? As long as they are nice to me, and can play and NOT BE ARROGANT i couldnt care less what they look like!
  9. Chris Sanders

    Chris Sanders Active Member

    Damn Right Dude!! :tup :cool: :tup
  10. caramelbunny

    caramelbunny Member

  11. Chris Sanders

    Chris Sanders Active Member

    oops, melph has upset the face-aches :D
  12. Immense_Mark

    Immense_Mark Member


    No one has mentioned percussion???? There is a reason they have so many toys, very big toys to hide behind, lol.

    Damn i really didnt want to enter this or offend anyone but its too late now.
  13. andyp

    andyp Active Member

    Surely, by this logic, the conductor is the ugliest, as they aren't allowed to face the audience at all, except between pieces?

    *grabs coat, tin hat and life preserver and runs for nuclear bunker hotly pursued by conductors wielding batons in shape of baseball bats......*
  14. Steve

    Steve Active Member

    some people are so superficial :rolleyes:


    Definitely the bass section (not you laura, returning the complimet)
  15. HANNAH

    HANNAH Member

    Surely the conductor is there to give us cornets something good to look at as the rest of the band arent worth it. As far as basses, I have to agree with Melph on that one!
  16. lausonbass

    lausonbass Member

    Thanks Steve,

    I'm thinking i'm being a little out voted here, but as i look forward and not at the other bass players i don't really care what they look like,

    the only thing i see is the back of our vikki's head ( lucky me hey)
  17. julestools

    julestools Active Member

    The horn section gets my vote.

    Thankfuly us basses only get to see the back of them. ;)

    I really think I should not have said that. My life could be in danger.
  18. sevenhelz

    sevenhelz Active Member

    'scuse me! i face the audience in both my bands!

    there isn't anything wrong with bass player per se - they just grow into the instrument they're given ;)

    also, dear, i've corrected your spelling for you.

    TIMBONE Active Member

    Rapier, may I remind you that many conductors put the horns on the right ... I wonder why, this does not include Flixton Band of course. Basses? Well, one of our horn players has just gone onto bass, tall, slim and blonde ... oh, a female as well. Trombones? Excluded. How could Tim, Karen, Paul and Brian be ugly?
  20. Melph

    Melph Member

    Look everybody - this is a bit of fun and if all those bass players out there are offended, thats becasue the truth hurts!

    Like I said, it's not just Basses, Euphs tend to be a bot on the ugly side too.

    Yes, this may be shallow, but I didn't make the link between Ugly and musicianship - now perhaps somebody would like to start that ball rolling?

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