Someone pretending to be your friend so just to get you out of the band to gain control. I've been in banding for 25 loyal years and hardly missed a practice. Last year, two and a bit months before the regionals I could not attend rehearsals for work reasons. On my second missed week another player was in my seat. He only lasted one practice. By my fourth missed week another player was signed up. And guess what - no one bothered to tell me even though they new I wouldn't be there for four weeks! It wouldn't have hurt so much if the player could play the part. But to add the icing to the cake, one week before the contest I was asked to play bass (I play the horn). I wasn't capable of doing this at such short notice. Guess what happened to the new horn player?? He left a few weeks after the contest. Just as well I didn't leave. Almost a year down the line, like a true bandsman, still in the same band, still the same seat, been a few more incidents. But now losing interest in the band fast. I was never brought up to treat people like this! I now feel I have wasted 25 years playing in the wrong band but having difficulty freeing myself of loyalty.