What Kids Say!

Discussion in 'Off-Topic Chat' started by MRSH, Mar 23, 2004.

  1. MRSH

    MRSH Supporting Member

    Haven't seen these before. :D :D :D :D

    The Things Kids Say!!!!

    1. A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales. The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though it was a very large mammal its throat was very small.
    The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale.
    Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human; it was physically impossible. The little girl said, "When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah." The teacher asked, "What if Jonah went to hell?" The little girl replied, "then you ask him."

    2. A Kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom of children while they were drawing. She would occasionally walk around to see each child's work. As she got to one little girl who was working diligently, she asked what the drawing was. The girl replied, "I'm drawing God." The teacher paused and said, "but no one knows what God looks like." Without missing a beat, or looking up from her drawing, the girl replied, "They will in a minute."

    3. A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her five and six year olds. After explaining the commandment to "honour" thy Father and thy Mother, she asked, "Is there a commandment that teaches us how to treat our brothers and sisters?" Without missing a beat one little boy (the oldest of a family) answered, "Thou shall not kill."

    4. One day a little girl was sitting and watching her mother do the dishes at the kitchen sink. She suddenly noticed that her mother had several strands of white hair sticking out in contrast to the others on her brunette head. The little girl looked at her mother and inquisitively asked, "why are some of your hairs white, Mom?" Her mother replied, "well, every time that you do something wrong and make me cry or be unhappy, one of my hairs turns white." The little girl thought about this revelation for a while and then said, "Momma, how come ALL of grandma's hairs are white?"

    5. The children had all been photographed, and the teacher was trying to persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture. "Just think how nice it will be to look at it when you are all grown up and say, 'there's Jennifer, she's a lawyer,' or 'that's Michael, he's a doctor.'" A small voice at the back of the room rang out, "and there's the teacher, she's dead."

    6. A teacher was giving a lesson on the circulation of the blood. Trying to make the matter clearer, she said, "now, class, if I
    stood on my head, the blood, as you know, would run into it, and I would turn red in the face.." "Yes," the class said. "Then why is it that while I am standing upright in the ordinary position, the blood doesn't run into my feet?" A little fellow shouted, "cause your feet aren't empty."

    7. The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray: "take only ONE. God is watching." Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies. A child had written a note: "Take all you want. God is watching the apples."
     
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  3. Naomi McFadyen

    Naomi McFadyen New Member

    :lol: brill!
     
  4. Aidan

    Aidan Active Member

  5. lynchie

    lynchie Active Member

    ah the wonders of children... :lol:
     
  6. Bassment Jinx

    Bassment Jinx Member

    :) , they were good. Got any more?
     
  7. MRSH

    MRSH Supporting Member

    Yes - I have


    One summer evening during a violent thunderstorm a mother was tucking her small boy into bed. She was about to turn off the light when he asked with a tremor in his voice, "Mommy, will you sleep with me tonight?"
    The mother smiled and gave him a reassuring hug. "I can't, dear," she said. "I have to sleep in Daddy's room."
    A long silence was broken at last by his shaky little voice: "The big sissy."



    After putting her children to bed, a mother changed into old slacks and a droopy blouse and proceeded to wash her hair. As she heard the children getting more and more rambunctious, her patience grew thin. At last she threw a towel around her head and stormed into their room, putting them back to bed with stern warnings. As she left the room, she heard her three-year-old say with a trembling voice, "Who was that?"


    An acquaintance of mine who is a physician told this story about her then four-year-old daughter. On the way to preschool, the doctor had left her stethoscope on the car seat, and her little girl picked it up and began playing with it. Be still, my heart, thought my friend, my daughter wants to follow in my footsteps! Then the child spoke into the instrument: "Welcome to McDonald's. May I take your order?"


    One day a guy was driving with his four-year-old daughter and beeped his car horn by mistake. She turned and looked at him for an explanation.
    He said, "I did that by accident."
    She replied, "I know that, Daddy."
    He replied, "How'd you know?"
    The girl said, "Because you didn't say 'JERK' afterwards!"



    A little boy opened the big and old family Bible with fascination, and looked at the old pages as he turned them. Suddenly, something fell out of the Bible, and he picked it up and looked at it closely. It was an old leaf from a tree that had been pressed in between the pages.
    "Momma, look what I found!" the boy called out.
    "What have you got there, dear?" his mother asked.
    With astonishment in the young boy's voice, he answered: "I think it's Adam's suit!"


    A class professor was giving a lecture on company slogans and was asking his students if they were familiar with them.
    "Joe," he asked, "which company has the slogan, 'come fly the friendly skies'?" Joe answered the correct airline.
    "Brenda, can you tell me which company has the slogan, "Don't leave home without it?" Brenda answered the correct credit card company with no difficulty.
    "Now John, Tell me which company bears the slogan, 'Just do it'?" And John answered, "Mom."
     
  8. Vickitorious

    Vickitorious Active Member

    :lol: :lol:
     
  9. drummergurl

    drummergurl Active Member

    lol fantastic! :lol: :lol: :lol:
     
  10. Seedhouse

    Seedhouse Active Member

    Brilliant! :lol:
     

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