What do you do about someone who can't fit in?

Discussion in 'The Rehearsal Room' started by Keith's right hand man, Mar 19, 2004.

  1. What do you do when you have one band member who just makes no effort to fit in and rubs everyone up the wrong way? :evil:

    Cos we have one!!!!!!!

  2. HBB

    HBB Active Member

    So do we. I just want to punch them... but I'll wait till after out areas :roll:
  3. Yesh good plan!
  4. Accidental

    Accidental Supporting Member

  5. Despot

    Despot Member

    Depends on why he/she doesn't fit in....if this person is an arrogant so and so, or say a quiet eccentric...

    One I'd try to hit, the other I'd try to talk to!
  6. lucylastic

    lucylastic New Member

    you grin and bear it , cos that's human nature and there aint a thing you can do about it ,
  7. flugelgal

    flugelgal Active Member

    I say there are many different solutions to this:

    1. Grin and bear it and hope they go away and that other players who contribute more positively don't leave because of it.
    2. If they are musically disruptive then the MD should speak to them. After all, the MD is in charge of the musicality of the band - if the player thinks they know better they shouldn't be there IMHO since they will not listen and pull together with the rest of the band.
    3. If they are disruptive in other ways then they should be spoken to by the committee. It's not acceptable for someone to cause problems in a band and upsetting people who are there for FUN.

    Just my opinion. Why lose players who make positive contributions over one person (no matter how good they are at playing the instrument)? The band is greater than the individual - always.

  8. Moy

    Moy Active Member

    Here , here Kirsty.
    Lets get rid of John. :wink:

    You know we all love you John. :lol:
  9. lucylastic

    lucylastic New Member

    i'm ungetriddable
  10. flugelgal

    flugelgal Active Member

    I'm going to be diplomatic here and say that I haven't been in the band long enough to possibly make a comment...

  11. lucylastic

    lucylastic New Member

    well you are definately not "the one " in our band Kirsty , You have fitted in very well
  12. Okiedokie of Oz

    Okiedokie of Oz Active Member

    dawwww... how sweet!!!

    Well, I suppose I better agree with everyone else. However, Iwill suggest that everyone, or at least someone, make an effort jst to sit him down first and talk to him. Then take it to the bossman!!
  13. ted

    ted Member

    Is the person in question just shy? Or is the person actually agressive towards other members?

    I think it's quite acceptable for a player to turn up to band, play their heart out and then go home without socialising with anyone. It's nice if we can all be friends, but if a person does their fair share of work during rehersal and wants to keep to themselves, then the band should respect that.

    If the person is offending other players by being arrogant, then it's fair to have a chat about his attitudes towards other band members. However, I bet if the person in question was a big name professional player then everyone will just keep their mouth shut. (so i guess my point is that in a perfect solution to the problem there needs to be a change in attitude from BOTH parties.)

  14. ploughboy

    ploughboy Active Member

    it's a difficult one, you have to try and balance the need for a player for a contest or concert and the ill will created in the bandroom! Good Luck with your problem there not easy to deal with!
  15. eckyboy

    eckyboy Member

    Just ignore him/her and they will soon see no-one is interested :?
    If it's shyness then i'm afraid it takes all sorts to make a band
  16. Moy

    Moy Active Member

    If they are really that bad give them a free transfer to another band. :wink:
  17. ted

    ted Member

    Or you can sell them off to Real Madrid.

  18. Moy

    Moy Active Member

    Good one :wink:
  19. Born 3

    Born 3 New Member

    :) I'm all for diversity and you have to accept that some players are not going to be the same as you but if they are out of line then they need telling.
    It can be little things that rub people up the wrong way :
    Expecting everyone else to run around after them
    Not putting their stand away
    Not paying subs
    In which case there should be someone appointed to deal with 'bandroom etiquette' who has the right to say what is expected of players and bring them in line. Often these people are completely unaware of what a pain in the a*** they are.
  20. akwarose

    akwarose Active Member

    ok, ignore them, they'll shut up eventually.
    or poke them with a stick... works in my experience :p