A friend of mine received this via email from the well-known SA cornet player Deryck Diffey. Some of it you may have read before, but it seemed worth posting this extended version: Upscale Bar C, E-flat and G entered a bar. The bartender said, "Sorry, I don't serve minors." The E-flat left and the C and G had an open fifth between them. After a few drinks, the fifth was diminished and the G was out flat. An F entered and tried to augment the situation but was not sharp enough. A D entered and excused himself to the bathroom, saying, "I'll just be a second." An A entered but the bartender wasn't convinced that this relative of C was not a minor. Then the bartender noticed a B-flat hiding at the end of the bar. "Get out, right now!" he exclaimed. "You're the seventh minor I've found in this bar tonight." The next night the E-flat returned to the bar in a 3-piece suit. The bartender said, "You're looking sharp tonight. This could be a major development." This was the case, when the E-flat took off the suit and everything else to stand there au natural. Eventually, the C sobered up and realized in horror that he was under a rest. He was brought to trial, found guilty of contributing to the diminution of a minor, and was sentenced to ten years of D.S. without the possibility of a Coda. On appeal, he was found innocent of any wrongdoing, even accidental, because the accusation was bassless. The bartender decided he needed a rest -- and closed the bar.