Toilet seats - what's that all about then

Discussion in 'Off-Topic Chat' started by johnmartin, Apr 28, 2004.

  1. johnmartin

    johnmartin Active Member

    My wife is constantly complaining at me when I leave the toilet seat up, apparently she'll get her hands dirty if she has to touch it. Ladies, why is this a problem. By the same logic surely a man would also have to get his hands dirty if he constantly had to put the seat up because a lady has left it in the down position. This is one of lifes most perplexing mysteries can anyone explain it all please.
  2. Nuke

    Nuke Active Member

    Well unless you urinate on the seat there should be really no problem with getting hands dirty. Shes making excusses because like most women they like to think there right and youll never change her opinion on this matter. To save you all the trouble just follow her instructions (orders) and leave the seat down once youve done then you can live in piece and harmony.
  3. rutty

    rutty Active Member

    Ladies - gravity is on your side! You know it'll take less muscles and energy for you to just put the seat down yourself and keep quiet about it than for us to have to keep lifting the seat and putting it back down again. Efficiency is the key here.

    Hope this helps :)
  4. Naomi McFadyen

    Naomi McFadyen New Member

    So why can't you do it again?!?!

  5. Rambo Chick

    Rambo Chick Member

    it looks unsightly!!!!!! :p
  6. Trigger

    Trigger Member

    The way I see it, going by the law of probability, is that when women go to the toilet, they sit on the seat, therefore preventing any unnecessary spillages. The men are the one's that stand and so therefore are the ones that pee all over the seat (please don't deny it men, you all know you do, especially after a few pints!!). So, therefore it would be very unfair to expect us to put the toilet seat down after you and get your pee all over our hands. You pee on the toilet seat, you put it back down. Problem solved. :D

    Or, looking at it from a different angle- women can't stand (well not very well) and pee, but men can sit!! Yet another solution! :D
  7. rutty

    rutty Active Member

    You girls are getting far too confused. Men lift the seat in order to pee, then leave the seat up for convenience - the next time they need to pee the seat is already up, thus saving valuable energy.

    Peeing with the seat down requires a good aim and a firm grip, and even if a bloke did this he wouldn't put the seat up due to unnecessary workload. What would be the point? The seat would already be down, pee-covered or not (depending on aim and grip, remember?).

    So, in conclusion, men are doing you a favour by lifting the seat in the first place, and quite frankly it's rather inconvenient for us to keep having to lift the bloody thing up (against the gravitational field!!!) thank you very much. It's in your best interests for the seat to be up. Q. E. and indeed D.

    Ithangyew :) 8)
  8. Trigger

    Trigger Member

    So you're admitting that it is the male species' incapabilities in the aiming department that results in the seat having to be lifted, yes? Well in that case, as it's you that needs the seat up, then you should put it down again. And back to the gravatational stuff, as you say that putting it up is against the "gravatational field", then that means it's 'normal' position would be down-

    So in conclusion, the seat is being lifted out of it's 'normal' gravational position because men are incapable of aiming?? 8) :wink:
  9. Big Twigge

    Big Twigge Active Member

    Marvellous genius thinking I suspect!
  10. Trigger

    Trigger Member

    :wink: 8)
  11. rutty

    rutty Active Member

    Nope - it's sprinkle-free state is in the "up" position. In such a position it contains enough Potential Energy to make it easy enough for those so uncapable at peeing standing up to be able to lower it with relative ease. See, gravity is your friend. ;)

    Considering the pee-ratio between men and women, less energy would be wasted if the seat was left up, and we'd be most grateful if you could leave it in such a position after you've finished. Thanks :)

    Oh, and another toilet tip for the ladies - stamping your feet afterwards helps in the reduction of toilet-paper usage. Save those trees!!!! 8)
  12. Naomi McFadyen

    Naomi McFadyen New Member

    Just goes to show what lazy buggers you men are really! :lol:

  13. Trigger

    Trigger Member

    Hmm, methinks you have changed your argument to fit?? A seat is there to be sat on right?...well in that case, surely it's correct position would be down- and you can't say that the seat is only there for women, because I'm not sure how easy it would be to take a dump standing. So therefore, that flaws the argument about the 'normal' position being up.

    Oh, and another tip for the men- more than two shakes is considered inappropriate and if you began using toilet paper it would be far more hygenic and may prevent the unecessary splatters of urine on the toilet seat (even if this is on the bottom of the seat) and up the walls- thus making the world a cleaner place!!!! 8)
  14. rutty

    rutty Active Member

    You were confused earlier with the pee on the seat scenario - just trying to clear that up. No point in peeing on the seat then lifting it up eh?

    Just bear in mind that most sinks are at just the right height - complaints about the position of the toilet seat will only raise the probability of unhouse-trained men regressing to the usage of the "hot and cold running toilet facilities".

    Don't forget, the laws of physics make it easier for you to lower the seat, rather than for us to have to strain ourselves by lifting it up.

    It's not lazy, it's just common sense. ;)
  15. Trigger

    Trigger Member


    So if it's easier to lower the seat after you've used it, then you won't mind putting it back down when you've finished. Thanks very much. :wink:
  16. Nuke

    Nuke Active Member

    Like i said before rutty youll never be able to convince a woman that she is wrong on this subject. Living with two women i gave uo trying to do this along time ago.
  17. Big Twigge

    Big Twigge Active Member

    This is a very funny thread.....I think an adjudicator may be required
    Separate toilets for boys is the way forward :)
  18. Straightmute

    Straightmute Active Member

    Absolutely. With seperate queues.

  19. Trigger

    Trigger Member

    No actually I'm not confused. I was referring to men "shaking" as a method of removing stale remnants of urine. When the "shaking method" is in process, this can cause small droplets and sprinkles to hit the underside of the lifted toilet seat (and the walls, the floor etc..) and therefore meaning that pee is on the toilet seat. :roll: :wink:
  20. lynchie

    lynchie Active Member

    right... basically, it's been trained into me by way of several horrific beatings to drop the seat after I'm done, but I can still see the correct side of this argument... evidently, women get upset any time a man sprinkles the toilet seat (usually drunk, and desperately in need of relief, and so forgets to lift) therefore, it would be in the interest of female members of the household to leave the seat up between the hours of 9pm and 11am for exactly this purpose. At all other times we will put the seat down, because men are strong and manly, whereas women are weak and timid, and so we can lift the heavy toilet seat to show our chivalrous side, whereas women obviously are incapable of dropping the seat to it's flattened position because they may well break a nail... Also, there is the simple fact which I feel needs to be pointed out, that if you wash your hands after using the facilities, it doesn't matter what they have come in contact unless you are in the habit of sucking on your fingers while you are on the toilet...