Things You'd Love To Say Out Loud At Work....

Discussion in 'Off-Topic Chat' started by stevetrom, Jan 20, 2006.

  1. stevetrom

    stevetrom Well-Known Member

    1. I can see your point, but I still think you're full of ****.

    2. I don't know what your problem is, but I'll bet it's hard to pronounce.

    3. How about never? Is never good for you?

    4. I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.

    5. I'm really easy to get along with once you people learn to see it my way.

    6. I'll try being nicer if you'll try being smarter.

    7. I'm out of my mind, but feel free to leave a message.

    8. I don't work here. I'm a consultant.

    9. It sounds like English, but I can't understand a damn word you're saying.

    10. Ahhh... I see the screw-up fairy has visited us again...

    11. I like you. You remind me of myself when I was young and stupid.

    12. You are validating my inherent mistrust of strangers.

    13. I have plenty of talent and vision; I just don't give a damn.

    14. I'm already visualizing the duct tape over your mouth.

    15. I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about you.

    16. Thank you. We're all refreshed and challenged by your unique point of view.

    17. The fact that no one understands you doesn't mean you're an artist.

    18. Any connection between your reality and mine is purely coincidental.

    19. What am I? Flypaper for freaks!

    20. I'm not being rude. You're just insignificant.

    21. It's a thankless job, but I've got a lot of Karma to burn off.

    22. Yes, I am an agent of Satan, but my duties are largely ceremonial.

    23. And your crybaby whiny-assed opinion would be...?

    24. Do I look like a people person?

    25. This isn't an office. It's Hell with fluorescent lighting.

    26. I started out with nothing &still have most of it left.

    27. Sarcasm is just one more service we offer.

    28. If I throw a stick, will you leave?

    29. Errors have been made. Others will be blamed.

    30. Whatever kind of look you were going for, you missed.

    31. I'm trying to imagine you with a personality.

    32. A cubicle is just a padded cell without a door.

    33. Can I trade this job for what's behind door ..1?

    34. Too many freaks, not enough circuses.

    35. Nice perfume. Must you marinate in it?

    36. Chaos, panic, & disorder - my work here is done.

    37. How do I set a laser printer to stun?

    38. I thought I wanted a career; turns out I just wanted a salary.

    39. Who lit the fuse on your tampon?

    40. Oh I get it... like humor... but different.

    IYOUNG Member

    Some good ones there Steve

    should have sent this through a tad earlier after the am I've had!!

    Trust all is well

    Hows David getting on?
  3. yonhee

    yonhee Active Member

    I would love to say that to some of my teachers... Hmm, better not though.
  4. Flugel_Player

    Flugel_Player Member

    Roll On Friday!!!!!!
  5. Naomi McFadyen

    Naomi McFadyen New Member

    :lol: Nice find.... theres a few I'd love to say... and some I prolly have down the line somewhere

  6. cornetgirl

    cornetgirl Active Member

    Can I add "tell your meeping mother to stop meeping fussing around and sit down cos she's making you play up even more and you ain't seen my nurse when she gets mad...I have to work with her y'know...."

    and "don't whack your head off the chair arm while under a general anaesthetic, it'll hurt afterwards" (that happened to me today!!!!)

    Rach x
  7. Mister 4x4

    Mister 4x4 Member

    Who says this is only for use at work?
  8. bigmamabadger

    bigmamabadger Active Member

    I can think of many ex-colleagues for whom this would have been appropriate...

    Now this I like. Can I have it with photon torpedoes too?
  9. ian perks

    ian perks Active Member

  10. trumpetmike

    trumpetmike Well-Known Member

    You haven't practised, you are wasting my time and your money, go away, never darken my lessons again.

    You have about as much musical ability as the average brick, please stop playing the trombone and start playing with traffic.

    Sorry - had a couple of bad days teaching:(
  11. HBB

    HBB Active Member

    I've wanted to say the 2nd one to a few people I know Mike!
  12. Steve

    Steve Active Member

    But you know Id slap you for it Tubb!!
  13. flower girl

    flower girl Member

    The one thing i'd love to say at work but cant pluck up the courage is... "Its not my P*SS**G mess its yours!!!!"
  14. Will the Sec

    Will the Sec Active Member

    "You saw the draft! Why didn't you say that BEFORE I sent the submission to the Minister you ^&*^%%^ &^%^**^ ^&*(^%*(( ^%^*(&^( %%&**(^%^*( (*(&%$%&*( little man??????"
  15. SoloBaritone

    SoloBaritone Member

    I have no idea what you're talking about and I really don't care. I soooo want to say that!
  16. HBB

    HBB Active Member

    Cos you're a slapper Steve ;)
  17. Pythagoras

    Pythagoras Active Member

    ****** off, we can do without scum like you in the school.

    You're child is not going to get that grade because they are a lazy/rude/disruptive/stupid pain and if you'd looked at any of their work for the last 5 years you would realise this.

    No its not OK for you to go on holiday in term time.

    How can you come to school without a pen, you must be a complete moron (think I said that one).

    If I even see that mobile again you will not get it back, ever.

    Silent means silent, not carry on talking you stupid....
  18. Steve

    Steve Active Member

    I would love to say "Hey guys, Im early" but there is more chance of finding rocking horse do do
  19. kiwiposaune

    kiwiposaune New Member

    I've always wanted to say (to a couple of conductors in particular) 'excuse me maestro, I can't see your ******* downbeat'.