Things you learn from TV advertisements

Discussion in 'Off-Topic Chat' started by James Yelland, Dec 8, 2003.

  1. James Yelland

    James Yelland Active Member

    Things you learn from TV adverts:

    1. Eating breakfast cereals induces a reflex action which causes the consumer's eyebrows to rise.

    2. Fast-food restaurants never serve fat people.

    3. Razors are only used by lantern-jawed young men with towels around their waist, with a gorgeous young woman hanging around in the background.

    4. The roads will be totally empty as you drive your new car around the typical UK countryside of mountain chicanes, French provincial towns and ornate Italian villages.

    5. PC World is staffed by articulate people who really understand computers.

    6. The constituent of a good Sunday roast lunch that people most enjoy is the gravy.

    7. It is unnecessary to pay for drinks in bars, pubs and clubs.

    8. Chewing gum is a sociable habit.

    9. You must ask for perfume in French, otherwise the shop assistant will not understand you.

    10. Advertising agencies working for banks live on their own, tiny planet.

    I'm sure you can think of a few more........
  2. Aidan

    Aidan Active Member

  3. PeterBale

    PeterBale Moderator Staff Member

    Reminds me of the adverts a little while back for the perfume called "Le Jardin", where the music consisted of someone singing along - didn't quite have the same effect of you replaced it with "The garden" instead :wink:

    Equally, "eau de Cologne" has a slightly different feel about it to "Kolnwasser" (sorry, can't do the Umlaut) or Cologne water - whilst "toilet water" gives us English quite the wrong impression :shock:
  4. Accidental

    Accidental Supporting Member

    11. Mobile phones have feelings, feet and their own dalmations!

    12. Babies in tv nappies never poo

    13. Car insurance is fair, and cheap!
  5. onedrummeruk

    onedrummeruk Member

    14 - Everybody wakes in the morning full of the joys of spring, sparkly eyed and ready for the day ahead - unlike real people who generally look like they've been hit by a bus and someone has crapped in their mouths.
  6. Straightmute

    Straightmute Active Member

    15. Cars are never dirty, even if they drive through puddles or across the desert.

    I want one of those cars!

  7. Okiedokie of Oz

    Okiedokie of Oz Active Member

    16 - Every woman dyes her hair

    17 - everyone's mum looks like either a 26 year old, or a 45-50 year old.

    18 - Dentists and Doctors, unless endorsing something, are fresh from college

    19 - The other political group is always wrong

    20 - Every Family eats breakfast together

    21 - You are either a businessman or a mechanic.
  8. WhatSharp?

    WhatSharp? Active Member

    22 - Everyone has MASSIVE Bathrooms

    23 - Nobody Queue's at the the Theme Park


    25 - Everything always works straight out the box

    26 - Sales staff in Electrical Retail Superstores are always "Happy to Help" and your NEVER left standing there like a lemon whilst he chats to his "Mate"

    27 - PC World know what their talking about!

    Oh and my personal favorite.....

    28 - ARGOS ALWAYS HAVE IT IN STOCK! ..... < my arse they do!>
  9. PeterBale

    PeterBale Moderator Staff Member

    Now, if they used Bisto instead of stock, then everybody would be happy :wink: :lol: :lol:
  10. James Yelland

    James Yelland Active Member

    29. Prices with lots of nines in them always sound a lot less than prices with lower numbers in them.

    30. A man always argues with his partner about who is going to drive, instead of letting her do the driving so that he can have a skinful.
  11. Big Twigge

    Big Twigge Active Member

    31. Furniture sales ALWAYS end sunday
  12. WhatSharp?

    WhatSharp? Active Member

    And of course the partner NEVER "Hates driving your car" cause its too big/small/not like my car/long/short .......
  13. Dave Payn

    Dave Payn Active Member

    32. Fast food chain's burgers always look so neatly and tidily prpeared. Unlike the real thing!

    33. No one ever f@rted on the Heinz Baked Beans adverts

    34. A Mars a day helps you work rest and play. Can't say I noticed a significant change there...

    35. Certain brands of sanitary towel can help you run, jump, swim and play tennis. The uncertain ones obviously can't.

    36. When kids are seen in adverts tugging at mum's coat to indicate they want something, they usally get it with a smile. In reality, the the kid is met with a volley of foul language.

    37. In adverts, people drink Castlemaine XXXX. However, in real life....
  14. WhatSharp?

    WhatSharp? Active Member

    31. Its always NEW and IMPROVED .. DUH! Listen Mr Ad Man, its either NEW OR Improved you can't have both! if its new you haven't got anything to IMPROVE ON HAVE YOU! DUH! :roll:

    Anyone on tMP work in Advertising?
  15. PeterBale

    PeterBale Moderator Staff Member

    It's like my beef about "The Best Ever" - if it is the best ever, how can they then try to sell you an improved version a few months down the line?

    32. Nothing tastes/cleans/works (delete as required) better than product X . . .

    Then eat/use nothing!
  16. Seedhouse

    Seedhouse Active Member

    Lol! :lol: This is turning into a good thread, pity it can't be voted for funniest thread! :cry:
  17. WhatSharp?

    WhatSharp? Active Member

    32. "Let Us Quote you happy" .... OK Lets start at Zero.... now make me happy! .... "I'm not getting happy...."

    33. Cars should only be driven in really BAD conditions. Or by wierdos....

    34. Boddingtons aren't making any funny Ads these days!

    35. Following on from 34, Beer adverts are funniest ... Heineken, Carling Black Label, Boddingtons........
  18. Accidental

    Accidental Supporting Member

    36. Alcohol makes you smart, funny, sexy, attractive and fun to be round.....noone drinking booze in the ads is ever a foul mouthed pain in the **** who's gonna drink drive!

    37. dogs care what they eat, don't poo, don't leave hair all over the house and bring you breakfast in bed :wink:
  19. iggmeister

    iggmeister Member

    38. Brushing with Colgate makes you smile like Esther Rantzen

    Sorry. Can only think of one for now. Will have to go and watch some tv....

  20. Okiedokie of Oz

    Okiedokie of Oz Active Member

    39 - The news is an accurate representation of what happens in ones community and such a worthwhile watch!