Things we can learn from the movies

Discussion in 'Off-Topic Chat' started by Brian Kelly, Nov 24, 2004.

  1. Brian Kelly

    Brian Kelly Active Member

    E-mailed to me by a friend which I thought I would share:

    There are some lessons in life that you can only discover by watching films.

    1. Large, loft-style apartments in New York City are well within the price range of most people whether they are employed or not.

    2. At least one of a pair of identical twins is born evil.

    3. Should you decide to defuse a bomb, don't worry which wire to cut. You will always choose the right one. Besides, all bombs are fitted with electronic timing devices with large red readouts so you know exactly when they're going to go off.

    4. Most laptop computers are powerful enough to override the communications system of any invading alien society.

    5. It does not matter if you are heavily outnumbered in a fight involving martial arts -- your enemies will wait patiently to attack you one by one while dancing around in a threatening manner until you have knocked out their predecessors.

    6. When you turn out the light to go to bed, everything in your bedroom will still be clearly visible, just slightly bluish.

    7. If you are blonde and pretty, it is possible to become a world expert on nuclear fission at the age of 22.

    8. Honest and hard working policemen are traditionally gunned down three days before their retirement. And a detective can only solve a case once he has been suspended from duty.

    9. Rather than wasting bullets, megalomaniacs prefer to kill their archenemies using complicated machinery involving fuses, pulley systems, deadly gasses, lasers, and man-eating sharks, which will allow their captives at least 20 minutes to escape.

    10. During all police investigations, it will be necessary to visit a strip club at least once.

    11. All beds have special L-shaped cover sheets that reach up to the armpit level on a woman but only to waist level on the man lying beside her.

    12. All grocery shopping bags contain at least one stick of French bread.

    13. It's easy for anyone to land a plane providing there is someone in the control tower to talk you down.

    14. Once applied, lipstick will never rub off-even while scuba diving.

    15. You're very likely to survive any battle in any war unless you make the mistake of showing someone a picture of your sweetheart back home.

    16. Should you wish to pass yourself off as a German or Russian officer, it will not be necessary to speak the language. A German or Russian accent will do.

    17. When they are alone, all foreign military officers prefer to speak to each other in English.

    18. A man will show no pain while taking the most ferocious beating but will wince when a woman tries to clean his wounds.

    19. If a large pane of glass is visible, someone will be thrown through it before long.

    20. If staying in a haunted house, women should investigate any strange noises in their most revealing underwear.

    21. Even when driving down a perfectly straight road, it is necessary to turn the steering wheel vigorously from left to right every few moments. Tyres will squeal on any surface, at any speed.

    22. If you decide to start dancing in the street, everyone you meet will know all the steps.

    23. Police departments give their officers personality tests to make sure they are deliberately assigned a partner who is their total opposite.

    24. If you are driving very fast in a car, either because you are chasing somebody, or because somebody is chasing you, there will always be a large pile of empty cardboard boxes that you have to drive through.
  2. lewis

    lewis Member

    Maybe.... describing Hollywood you have unearthed something that is even more strange than a brass band contest???? HaHa
  3. six pints

    six pints Active Member

    LOL!! number 5 was my fav- so true!
  4. Nuke

    Nuke Active Member

    25. Endings are always left open so that if the movie does well there can be a plethera of sequels spawned from the origional topic to make the studios more money by reusing an old idea. If no open ending is present a sequel will still be made neway.