The Talking Dog

Discussion in 'Off-Topic Chat' started by Dave Payn, Nov 25, 2003.

  1. Dave Payn

    Dave Payn Active Member

    A man sees a sign in front of a house in Luton: "Talking Dog for
    Sale." He rings the bell and the owner tells him the dog is in the
    back garden. The bloke goes into the backyard and sees a black mutt Just
    sitting there.

    "You talk?" he asks.

    "Sure do." the dog replies.

    "So, what's your story?"

    The dog looks up and says, "Well, I discovered my gift of talking
    pretty young and I wanted to help the government, so I told MI5 about my
    gift, and in no time they had me jetting from country to country, sitting in
    rooms with spies and world leaders, because no one figured a dog would
    be eavesdropping. I was one of their most valuable spies eight years

    "The jetting around really tired me out, and I knew I wasn't getting
    any younger and I wanted to settle down. So I signed up for a job at the
    airport to do some undercover security work, mostly wandering near
    suspicious characters and listening in."

    "I uncovered some incredible dealings there and was awarded loads of
    medals, then I had a wife, a few puppies, and now I'm just retired."

    The man is amazed. He goes back in and asks the owner what he wants
    for the dog.

    The owner says, "Ten quid."

    The bloke says, "This dog is amazing. Why on earth are you selling him
    so cheap?"

    "Cause he's a ****ing liar. He's never done any of that stuff"
  2. neiltwist

    neiltwist Active Member

    awww, I thought it was going to be something about Newcastle Brown :(
  3. geordiecolin

    geordiecolin Active Member

    Damn Neil beat me to it!

    I had visions of a bottle of beer that talked to you, totally eliminating the need for real friends <insert pun here/>. And it wouldn't laugh at you when drunk!!
  4. Seedhouse

    Seedhouse Active Member

    That was wicked! One of the best i've read on here! :lol: :lol: :lol:
  5. Naomi McFadyen

    Naomi McFadyen New Member

  6. rutty

    rutty Active Member

    :lol: :lol: :lol:
  7. lynchie

    lynchie Active Member

    Obviously, for you to get drunk, it would have be drunk, so you could laugh at it... sort of... hmmm...

    Anyway, good joke! :D
  8. Jezzabell

    Jezzabell Member

    Good Joke! :) :) :)

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