The PC crystal ball

Discussion in 'Off-Topic Chat' started by nethers, Oct 8, 2009.

  1. nethers

    nethers Active Member


    As rambochick posted:

    "Does your child have ADHD? Good news: now you can skip the line at the amusement park in the United Kingdom, thanks to new anti-discrimination laws. Children with attention-deficit disorders, a recognised psychiatric condition, can now queue- jump at theme parks because they cannot cope with the stress of waiting. Passes are given to those who can prove they have the condition, but teachers have criticised the scheme, saying it undermines their efforts to encourage patience. (Source: Times Online)"

    And in the NZ Herald today:

    "An Edinburgh lollipop man has quit over claims he was told not to high-five children or give them sweets. John Hunter, 69, dished out chocolates on his birthday and at Christmas. But two parents complained, says the BBC. Mr Hunter said he was told by the council that giving out high-fives was a "health and safety risk"."

    I'm not suggesting we have a big argument about all this, just that we have some fun with the idea that that positive discrimination/political correctness is becoming more commonplace in society.

    So, get your best 'Daily Mail' hat on and let us know... what could be next?!?

    P.S try not to be too offensive - and I appreciate the irony in asking that!
    Last edited: Oct 8, 2009
  2. nethers

    nethers Active Member

    Concerned that vegetarians may be offended in restaurants, council officials have asked that dishes with meat in them are served only outdoors in uncovered areas and kept behind visibility screens.

    Restaurants who leave meat on visible display or who allow the smell to travel indoors face unlimited fines.

    One anonymous member of the public was quoted as saying:

    "It's political correctness gone mad!!!"

  3. BigHorn

    BigHorn Active Member

    To counter under acheivement of students from ethnic minorities and lower income households, all future exam results for these students will be increased by one grade. Those who take no exams at all will be given an average pass mark.
    University admission will no longer be determined by academic ability but rather your social deprivation index - determined by your parents income, postcode, ethnic heritage and sexual orientation.
  4. ronnie_the_lizard

    ronnie_the_lizard Active Member

    To avoid unfair workloads, first violinists from now on must take as many bars rest as the tuba player.
  5. nethers

    nethers Active Member

    Following an outcry from politicians, all movies must now contain no scenarios or actions that would be illegal in reality.

    Next week we review Saw VI: Sale at B&Q
  6. Mesmerist

    Mesmerist Well-Known Member

    All coffee and tea shops are no longer allowed to serve "white" or "black" beverages. These drinks must be a uniform light beige/brownish colour.
  7. scotchgirl

    scotchgirl Active Member

    Obese people are not to be made to feel bad, so restaurants will now have separate, curtained-off, areas for people of varying BMIs....

    Children are from now on to be actually wrapped in cotton wool...allowed no vaccines (in case they get autism)...
  8. Mesmerist

    Mesmerist Well-Known Member

    All womens clothing to be labeled size 8 regardless of the actual fit so as not to make the obese feel guilty.
  9. Mesmerist

    Mesmerist Well-Known Member

    "Dark" and "Milk" chocolate to be in future labeled "shades of brown".
  10. Kjata

    Kjata Member

    What about making anorexics feel bad??
  11. Quote from Frankie Boyle....

    "Yes, we have a vegetarian menu.... You can **** off!"
  12. themusicalrentboy

    themusicalrentboy Active Member

    and quite right too..... :tongue:
  13. nethers

    nethers Active Member

    So that criminals are not discriminated against, in future victims of crime will also be imprisoned and punished as required.
  14. Getzonica

    Getzonica Active Member

    So that some children are not disadvantaged, all independent schools and single sex schools etc will be abolished so that every child will attend their local state school and they will all recieve exactly the same education.
  15. TheMusicMan

    TheMusicMan tMP Founder Staff Member

    All members of tMP must be given admin status so they too can see those who don't know we know (follow that one yeah) they have multiple tMP accounts used for the sole purpose of stirring.

    PS: we can see you :)
  16. nethers

    nethers Active Member

    Coloured felt-tip pens, crayons etc. shall be replaced by a single montone pen called 'equal'.

    'Baaa Baaa Black Sheep' to become 'Baaa Baaa multicoloured non-gender-specific life-form'
  17. Getzonica

    Getzonica Active Member

    isn't it now supposively 'baaa baaa rainbow Sheep'?
  18. Hells Bones

    Hells Bones Active Member

    Jeez, I just got an Image of John's head appearing in my monitor :eek:
  19. nethers

    nethers Active Member

    To prevent any hurt feelings, co-worker of employees with physical disabilities will be forced to attend work with the same disabiliy.

    So, if a one armed person is on the staff, other members of staff will have to tie an arm behind their back etc.

    We called the minister who proposed the law for comment but unfortunately his cleaner didn't speak English so he wasn't legally allowed to comment...
  20. Getzonica

    Getzonica Active Member

    Equality is the key: the class system is to be completely wiped out. Everyone will be paid the same. Everyone will be allowed to do the same jobs or go to uni etc. There will be no leagues of any kind or no ranking ever not even in football or brass banding. There won't even be rants in the armed forces. However, the government will still exist and make rules that everyone must obey. They will still earn the amount they used to and will still have has much power as they used to.

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